As is Where is

"Only those who have awakened know that they were sleeping."

From: As is Where is - by Jim Paredes.

When the silence is golden, it is just silence. There is no obligation, no pressure to do something or to have something.

People who realize this will seek silence for its authenticity. They know that silence is the source of enlightened consciousness for everyone.

“This is the silence that is open and free”, says Jim Paredes in his new book As is Where is. “This is the truth of simply being, the silence that has no requirements.”

It is his third book, after Humming in My Universe, Between Blinks, and Writing on Water. Jim discovered silence through years of living consciously in the way of Zen, and has released his creative genius in ways that inspire many people to follow a similar path.

When I joined Jim’s creativity class more than three years ago, he asked us to release ourselves from media influence for two weeks (radio, tv, music, books). The result was immediate for all who complied with his request, as our creativity blossomed.

Jim writes about always being ready to experience life as it is. “The way to the unknown is the unknown”, he says, advising us to “throw away your old map. Only a new road will get you to a new destination.”

If there is anything constant in our lives, it is change. Yet we tend to believe that our spiritual journey is based on constant truths. Until we discover that our appreciation of truth also evolves as we grow in our experience. For one, we realize that we attract what we need to grow, including unexpected encounters with life’s paradoxes.

In the introduction to his new book, Jim writes about noticing a different feel to the topography of his own spiritual journey. Leaving the green and lush behind, he encounters “dried patches of a new, arid landscape”. He shares how it spurred his sense of being challenged to “explore new territories where God is hard to find, or is unlikely to be, but is in fact present.”

Jim keeps challenging us to live forward and let go of things that supported us yesterday. “It’s as if we are flipping a switch”, he says, “from sleep to full awakening.” Seeking out silence is an essential part of that daily journey.

As I write this, I feel encouraged to be awake. In fact, this Sunday morning feels to me like no other. Peace is here as I allow myself to enter its realm of silence. I feel better connected. Thank you, Jim!

Photographs: Jim Paredes' latest book, and the author.

After a pause...

My blogging hit a pause...

Life kisses our faces
every morning. Yet,
between morning and evening,
she laughs at our sorrows.

From: Love Letters in the Sand – by Khalil Gibran

Just like a year ago when I started blogging, a visit to Singapore’s art world gave me unforgettable pleasure. I visited the National Museum and the Asian Civilisations Museum this time, and I was mesmerized by their content, presentation, and housing. So uplifting to spend a day drifting through the galleries.

This evening a friend of many years observed that for as long as she knows me I have been interested in culture and art. While our kids practised guitar with their teacher, we enjoyed a life conversation over cappuccino served in cups from Ubud. And we agreed that life transitions should be taken as fun, not too serious.

My good friend whom I think of as Mr. I Can Do asked me to have our first life coaching session this week. What a nice challenge! And I just received my home study course for a diploma in life coaching this week. Now I realize how changes can knock on your door. I am learning to listen, and hear the knocks. I know where I want to go.

Tomorrow I will take a loan to pay for the block of land in Ubud, Bali. It is another big step on my life journey. And another case of change knocking on my door. I decided to open. After giving careful consideration to the financial matters, I am living forward.

And my daughter will read Khalil Gibran in her class.

Photograph: Beauty in Asia – the Asian Civilisations Museum on the Singapore River.

Milestone

As a lingering cough from an earlier cold turned into a full-blown throat infection last week, I had the pleasure of visiting an SOS medical clinic for the first time while traveling. I don’t like taking antibiotics, but there was no escape this time. Three days later, after many days of operating at 60% of my usual strength, the medication I received in Jakarta started showing results. During this time, I realized that days of sickness are a challenge to pratice the “better living habits” that I have adopted over the past years.

I woked up in Bali today, and the morning lived up to the reputation of this paradise isle. Apart from the fact that my cough had abated a bit compared to the previous days, the freshness of the morning and the scenery surrounding the small hotel in Ubud were stunning. Even after only one night there, I felt refreshed in body and spirit.

Yesterday was a milestone for me as I signed a letter of intent to acquire a piece of land about 20 minutes north of Ubud, with a view to settling there after retirement. The secluded block of land includes some ancient rice terraces at the top of a hill and slopes down into a valley with a small river. My real estate agent is still negotiating for me to lease a part of the neighbor’s rice terraces as well, to use as a garden. In Bali, leasing land is common.

I also used the opportunity of my overnight weekend visit to Bali to buy several attractive books on traditional and contemporary Balinese architecture to start me off with visualizing the house I intend to build there later on. And today I met a well-known Dutch architect living in Ubud who gave me further advice on build a suitable house on the block.

Now that my strength is returning from the weeks of cold and throat infection, I am happy to live forward again.

Photographs: View of the block from the lower terrace (top), and beautiful Ubud morning (bottom).

Good team

I spent yesterday with a close friend, talking about the changes in our lives. He was visiting Manila for a week, and it was good to catch up and compare notes. He is older than me, at least biologically, and I usually get some good advice. Yesterday was no exception.

He told me the story of a group of Harvard graduates who had been subjected to research about the success they achieved in their life after graduation. The message was that only two graduates of the group had set themselves goals, and that these two had achieved more than all the others put together.

So we took some time discussing life goals and the importance of taking action to achieve them. We discussed the elements of a life goals chart. Mission, vision and values at the top, together with dreams, and below that specific life goals, and under that the goals for 2007. And at the bottom the available resources and, importantly, the activities to drop and avoid from one’s life. Because, while we can do almost anything when we put our mind to it, we certainly can’t do everything.

Our range of topics also covered the benefits of early retirement, pursuing life-long education, doing business and reaching out to people, drinking good coffee, speeding up our computers, and living in Bali, a place he loves too. He gave me good advice about the piece of land I am considering. How to clear it, put in drainage, and start building in phases, beginning with a small pavilion that can serve to try out design and building materials, and can become (his) guest quarters later on.

All in all, it was a rewarding day. And when he texted me this morning from the airport “we make a good team”, I agreed. It is good when friends team up to help each other.

Photograph: My friend with a wallaby (top) and one of my actions this week: ordering a life coaching home-study course (bottom).

Open spaces

If we don’t change, we don’t grow
– Gail Sheehy

Without change, growth is impossible. Living forward, therefore, is about embracing change. Even looking for it. Not change for the sake of change, but to ensure that I keep my living space open. And, let’s face it, my living space is often more walled in than open. I hold on to what I am accustomed to. I treasure what is comfortable to me. I resist when someone tells me to try a new approach. I am not naturally open to change.

I was thinking today about the value of living with an open space concept, and I compared it with what I saw in Bali. During my visit last February, I wondered why the people there treasure open spaces so much. In fact, I found that much of traditional Balinese architecture is about open space, exemplified by the pavilion, the balé. It is a structure that creates a space that can be used for many purposes. Most importantly, it does not have walls.

I was even more amazed when I visited some Balinese temples, like Pura Samuan Tiga. I found it full of seemingly empty space, and images of deities were nowhere to be seen. The gods are in heaven, I was told by the helpful guardians, and they come to visit the temple once a year during the temple’s annual festival. So it seemed that the temple also served as an open space, which only truly came to life when the gods visited.

In fact, every pavilion I saw in Bali, from the small balé in the corner of my hotel room garden to the community halls of villages and the grand pavilions of temples, seemed to have its own character and atmosphere, yet they shared the common qualities of providing an open space.

Then it occurred to me that these pavilions somehow resemble the lives of truly great people in this world. To me, the greatness of these leaders is characterized by their vision, their openness, their strategic foresight, and their capacity to listen and respond to the needs of people from all walks of life, backgrounds, and opinions.

Would it be too much to say that a pavilion is a unique structure that links heaven and earth yet does not divide people on this earth by the construction of walls? For sure, if my life would have no walls, it would be much easier to see the changes happening around me, and to adapt my life to these changes.

A strong structure, yet no walls, what an interesting metaphor that is for a life that embraces change. In such a beautiful open space, there is nothing to hold me back from growing.

Photograph: A pavilion in Pura Samuan Tiga temple, Ubud, Bali.

Stock taking

At the end of the week, I take stock of my results and experience.

I am more focused on results now, especially positive ones. Living forward needs keeping track of the road traveled, and what I experienced along the way. Doing that regularly is a good thing.

In fact, the end of the day, and the end of the week are good times to reflect and taking stock. Celebrate and enjoy the successes. And learn lessons from what did not go as expected, and then let go of it.

A friend shared this week how coaching was helping her move forward with her life, with some important changes coming up. And these changes had been triggered by some unexpected tough experiences.

Another friend started to discover how focusing on personal talents and strengths with a positive attitude might help to get a new job with a better salary.

And I was touched by the initiative of a colleague at work who arranged dinner to “reach out” to a friend who was going through a rough time. He told me later how friends had done the same for him years ago, and he had never forgotten how it had helped him.

I read a good book on coaching in China that focused on the person (Ren) rather than on the issues.

And my friend Jim Paredes announced the publication of his latest book, As Is Where Is, through Lulu.com.

In Ubud, meanwhile, an architect took a look at the land I am interested to buy, to advise on what could be built there. As a result, some more questions need to addressed.

And creative ideas for new enterprises were born involving designer jewellery and yoga training.

Today I bought a screen protector for my new Nokia phone. And I got myself a pair of new Merrell sandals, nice and comfortable.

And I kept reading more and more about life coaching training, the topic that keeps attracting my interest, and which I have included in my goals for this year.

Sadly, the family driver left this monring. I released him and he released me. Continued squabbling between driver and helpers was affecting the atmosphere in the house.

For most of the week, I was able to maintain a positive attitude. And yet I learned that actions taken with a positive intent can still be perceived differently by others. Even with a positive mind, I need to try and understand how my actions come across to others, and tune in to their feelings.

It’s good to keep track of what happens in and around me. And now I realize I should do it every day, because it is so much easier to do when it is still fresh.

Photograph: Woman carrying light, Hanoi Hilton Opera hotel.