Dao and Wine

Inspired action

2011-12-30T09:38:00.012+08:00

"The ego has blinders. The Divine does not.”

- Joe Vitale

The sign posts are clear, and there is only one way to enjoy the journey: to go and keep going. The safe alternative is to continue reading the guide books.

A year has passed, and it is again an excellent time to review a year completed, and the road ahead.

Over the past weeks, I was inspired while listening to Joe Vitale’s 2010 audio program The Abundance Paradigm. His powerful theme is that of a white board, representing the Source, or our pure Self. So much is written on our personal white board to obscure its space. It needs to be wiped clean.

Like Steve Jobs with the iPod, it probably wasn’t Joe Vitale who first invented this theme of the white board. But he has made sure, in his trademark fashion, that people now have easy access to this wisdom.

This evening, when reviewing an essay I wrote in December 2003 during the Tapping the Creative Universe Workshop offered by Jim Paredes, I smiled when I read this passage:

“At any moment, I can wipe the whiteboard of my life clean, I return to stillness, purity, nothing or zero. The empty balance between positive and negative, from which new things can grow in me, and at which I can make clear decisions. It is the Zero Doctrine – total flexibility, the absence of fixed ideas. It’s when I can hear the plants grow.”

Where did I get this inspiration 8 years ago? My Google search for Zero Doctrine this evening didn’t yield anything significant. It must have come from the white board itself.

I recognize Joe Vitale for making his own growth toward greater consciousness and awakening so publicly (and commercially) available for others to emulate. His message is often right on target, like when he points out that the word action is embedded into the Law of Attraction.

We have to take action to make our journey. To wipe our personal white board clean. And to honor the inspirations we receive with action.

As a timely reminder for celebrating our passage into the new year, Vitale’s words remind us that ego-led intentions can produce results, but that inspiration can produce miracles. If we take action.

Happy New Year 2012!

Photograph: New year sparkles on iPad by Natalie.

Imbalance My Life

2010-12-31T18:07:00.029+08:00

"Imbalance creates direction and forward motion and progress." - James John Hollandworth

Moving forward is not as easy as it sounds. There are many directions, so which one is forward? And how do we measure progress?

Reflecting on the transition to the new year, I join people around the world to ponder these questions during the last days of 2010. What did we learn, what progress did we make? What will we do different in the new year? The window for reflection is now − soon we will become busy again, and our new year's resolutions may fade from memory.

From experience over the past years, I discovered that moving into the new year is not so much about what we will do and won't do. What counts more is our attitude and our thoughts, since these are the drivers. To make a good transition into 2011, the best we can do might be to reflect on who we are and how well we are living, and to decide how we will live better next year.

During my stay in Ubud, Bali, three reflections on better living have floated to the surface, like croaking frogs in a pond during a rainy night.

1. Bigger than me

The first is that living better is about something much bigger than the current 'me.' It's about being part of something that wants to come and become. It's about expanding my consciousness, yet in a way that includes all I have experienced so far. It's about growing in all dimensions, including cognitive, spiritual, musical, ethical and other lines.

I am using the transition to the new year to remind myself to expand my consciousness and 'claim my space.' It feels like climbing up a ladder to get a better view of the world around me. And while climbing, it is important not to leave any less evolved part of me behind. That would start pulling on the rest of me and slow my progress.

2. Imbalance my life

My second reflection is that balance has proved to be elusive. The pursuit of balance has felt like a search for the holy grail. I found that I am usually out of balance, one way or another. The important question is, in what direction? I discovered I have to lean into my strengths, for a healthy imbalance.

Hollandworth reminds us that "a ball on a perfectly flat surface doesn’t go anywhere, but a ball on the top of a mountain will start rolling down, picking up more speed and more defined direction as it moves."

What I need in the new year is to accelerate progress to my life goals, not just to act on a few new year's resolutions. My choice is now to intentionally imbalance my life toward my strengths, to lean into them, and let them create momentum in my life.

3. Ready to be used

My third reflection builds on the first and second. We live in a dynamic world where change is constant and where new connections are made all the time. Claiming my space in this interdependent universe means that I announce that I can be used, that I can add value, that I can contribute. This can happen in planned and unplanned ways.

I also realized in the past months that my readiness can be extended to involve partners in exciting areas of my life. Mastermind alliances can help me grow toward my life goals by working together with partners.

Being ready to be used in unexpected ways seems the most exciting. Opportunities abound, yet I can only see a small part of the web I live in. If I cultivate a beginner's mind, if I 'show up' and have my antennas switched on as much as possible, if I 'touch' daily what's important in my life, and if I care to share and work in mastermind alliances, I am ready to be used for positive results in the new year.

Ubud Mood

I feel blessed to spend the last days of the year again in Bali, my future home. I have been enriched by meeting lots of interesting people who are travelling, searching, building, making a living, helping others, or just taking a rest.

I rediscovered how Bali is a great place for me to retreat, to review the past year, to inspect the man in the mirror and his habits, to see what needs carving out or changing, and to get inspired for my next steps on the road forward, with a healthy imbalance towards my strengths.

Happy New Year 2011!

Photograph: Festive decorations in an Ubud home.

Art Matters

2010-02-28T21:50:00.016+08:00

"A life without boundaries, that's what art offers. That's why art matters."
- Santi Bose

I found him on the 3rd level in the cone-shaped building of the Yuchengco Museum. His voice sounded animated yet shy, filling the space from the computer speakers of the Remixed, Revisited, Remembered exhibit.

Bose passed on in 2002, and his life and work continues to puzzle and inspire many: Espiritu Santi: the strange life and even stranger legacy of Santi Bose.

He is quoted to have said that he didn't mind his art being re-used by others. He did not feel as if he owned his art, and was happy to contribute his knowledge to young artists.

He wouldn't have minded this remixing of his work by his fellows. I could imagine him sitting in that green upholstered carabao chair in his studio, now a part of the exhibit, and watching how visitors reviewed his remixed work.

That evening, my good friend and I watched the 1996 Broadway musical Rent played by Manila's 9 Works Theatrical group. Rent is based on Giacomo Puccini's La Bohème, which was artfully transposed to a cold Christmas Eve on the lower East side of New York City.

The story depicts a group of young bohemians squatting at a cavernous loft at a time when AIDS was making an entrance. Through a series of crises and discoveries, the group wakes up to their connectedness, and they come to realize and affirm that "there is no day but today" before parting ways to continue their lives in pairs and alone.

That no boundaries theme was also explored by Ken Wilber in a book by the same title. Wilber posed that boundaries are not realities but figments of our own imagination.

Years earlier, Einstein and other quantum physicists had come to the same conclusion when they discovered that we are all connected energy fields. This awareness is now spread by modern-day gurus like Deepak Chopra.

More than half a century ago, Krishnamurti made very similar points in his sharply illuminating speeches in California, preceding the flowering of the new age and self-development genres in the decades to follow.

Yet how far have we understood and taken this no boundaries message? Where are we today?

Looking around, we cannot but observe that people individually and in groups are still spending much of their time and energy creating, maintaining, and fighting over boundaries that cause separation rather than synergy, hurt rather than healing.

Standing before Santi Bose's altar and studio, I realized that if art can help us see a life without boundaries, we had better let the artist in each of us come out of hiding.

No boundaries, that is why art matters.

Photograph: Trees on Pasay Road beyond the boundary.

Year of Ganesha

2010-01-01T22:19:00.013+08:00

The happy start of 2010 finds me in Ubud still, writing my journal and scribbling intentions with the help of my nifty new sidekick called Attractor Genie, who joined me since yesterday to help me in my transition to achieving bigger things in the new year.

During this visit to the cultural hub of Bali, several new things got attracted into my life. My project to develop a home here took several paces forward. My circle of Ubud friends became significantly larger. And my understanding of how things work here got a bit deeper, as it has done during each visit.

I might have gained a world record too, for collecting the largest number of Ganesha images in two weeks. This friendly Hindu god was attracted big time into my life during this visit. Unlike the others god in the Hindu pantheon, he appears in all sorts of different forms. Dancing, reclining, standing and sitting in different positions, made from limestone and bronze in different finishes, and coming in various sizes, each image of the Lord of Thresholds and Remover of Obstacles is attractive to me in its own way.

It struck me that Ganesha's demeanor is quite similar to Osho's notion of Zorba the Buddha, which I had become familiar with in earlier years and have applied in my own life. Osho liked to match the life enjoying and street-smart Zorba the Greek with the spiritual qualities of the Buddha, implying that people need a combination of both of these outlooks to live a good life.

I found that Ganesha's popularity over the centuries may well have something to do with his powers to project similarly complementing qualities into people's lives, from big-picture spirituality for life to the enjoyment of living wisely in the moment, and seeing new doors open every day. Of course Ganesha, like other gods, is really a dimension of my own spiritual reality created in my mind, to help to guide and nurture my soul on its path.

In dynamic Bali, where Ganesha images can be found anywhere and anytime, I observed during this visit that the people I met all seemed to be adept at sharing something, whether it was news, information, services, and products, and more often all of these. People seem to enjoy engaging in different activities simultaneously, and many are happily multi-tasking their way through life.

One person I met is a part-time curator for exhibitions, writer for a newspaper, and translator in literary gatherings and in court cases. Another is a master photographer and head of the rental department of a real estate agency. A third person I observed owns a famous restaurant and enjoys standing in a market stall during weekends to cook well-known delicacies by hand for regulars and tourists alike.

While such multi-tasking may for some be explained by practical needs to make ends meet, for others it's not primarily a matter of income, and friends shared with me that Bali's society can offer people more flexibility to pursue different interests, passions and hobbies in parallel, which might be more difficult for people with full-time jobs in other places in the world.

So Bali can be seen as a conducive place for people to explore their dreams and attract the necessary changes into their lives to realize them. And the great thing is that there are so many other people around who are doing the same thing, thereby providing more inspiration. No wonder there are so many Ganeshas in Bali observing how good intentions are attracted and manifested in people's lives.

Photograph: Ganesha and Attractor Genie.

Attraction works

2009-12-29T13:55:00.013+08:00

"What you hold in your mind with energy and focus will tend to be created in your reality." – Joe Vitale

Staying in Ubud is invariably a pleasant experience. More than I saw elsewhere, people in their daily life seem to be keen on living harmoniously with themselves (or God or Universe), their community, and the environment. This is what the Balinese call Tri Hita Karana, which is their philosophy for keeping balance in life.

Just like anywhere else on the globe, the universe in the island of the gods moves rapidly and is ever in flux. Deeply aware of this dynamic, the Balinese people have over the centuries reflected it prominently in their culture of dance and music, which move with great energy and speed and thereby underline the need for keeping a balance as a continuous challenge in everyday life.

Meanwhile, the end of 2009 is drawing near, like a door closing slowly but surely. In preparing to cross the threshold, I like to reflect with appreciation on what the past year has brought, and then to anticipate with intent and curiosity what can come my way in 2010.

Such musings have been a private pastime for me for years, and I tended to keep to myself around the end of the year. In fact, my friends may not remember the last time they got a Seasons Greeting card from me in December - it just wasn't my thing to do. However, I feel that the time has come to adopt new habits.

Today, I started sharing some year-end reflections with my circle of friends, as a life sign and update to them, and with a warm thank you for enriching my life in 2009, either through our meetings face-to-face or through another communications we had in our shared universe.

What new things entered my life in 2009?

• Leadership coaching
• Integral theory and life practice
• Mind-mapping
• Spiral dynamics
• Facebook and Linked-In
• Building 2 new teams
• Attractor factor
• Ganesha
• Hair stylist
• This end-of-year message!
• Read on…

How did I move closer to my life goals this year?

Coaching. I reached much closer to my goal of being a 'successful leadership and life coach.' After completing my coaching course last December 2008, I received my diploma at the start of 2009. In mid-year, I expanded my knowledge and skills with a short training on the leader as coach. And after signaling my intention to the universe to increase my coaching practice while still holding my job as water adviser, I got the idea to start a leadership coaching program for water colleagues in my office. So I designed a program with options for a one-time 'orient' demo session, a 1-month 'discover' program, and a 3-month 'change' program. I got the proposal approved as part of my work plan for the second half of the year, and the announcement went out in October. Some colleagues expressed interest right away to start the program!

Advising. I moved forward in my role as 'respected water adviser,' and enjoyed working directly with clients and partners in several countries across the Asia-Pacific region, and with colleagues in my workplace. I was involved in building a team of regional experts and together we developed a guiding vision for water security in the region, supported by measurable indicators. I also supported the development of a team of water experts in my workplace, specifically to address water management challenges in river basins. As part of this work, I learned more about using the power of vision and examples to motivate people to embrace change.

Creating. I walked further on the road of growing into an 'accomplished writer and musician,' and developed several good concepts for future use in websites, books, and e-learning courses. However I didn't write as much and as often as I wanted, and am looking for ways to make it flow better, to find my style and my writing 'zone.' Well, I know the prescription: nothing else to do but write, write, write, and.... write! I also didn't play music as much as I thought I should, however I did take the chance to play my sax on stage again with a good band last October, including a solo rendition of Santana's Oye Como Va (see picture). I also realized my long-time dream to own an electric guitar. Now onwards to learn playing it in 2010!

What has helped me live forward this year?

Strength-based Leadership. I spent time in the first part of the year reviewing what my talents and strengths are, guided by books of Marcus Buckingham and the online strength-finder test of the Gallup Organization. Buckingham describes a strength as "consistent, near perfect performance in an activity", and as something that makes you feel great while you do it", something that makes you strong! Working this out has helped me a lot this year, and I am now paying attention how I can leverage my strengths in my work and other life dimensions. So I focus less, and am less concerned with fixing weaknesses which will never turn into areas of excellence. Working with my strengths is more productive, and using my strengths makes me stronger!

Mind Mapping. Around mid-year I started mind mapping to replace my boring to-do lists, and as a creative outlet for exploring new ideas. After trying out various software programs, I settled on Xmind. I also took to carrying a small notebook and a four-color ballpoint pen to draw small mind maps by hand anytime, anywhere. After a few months, mind mapping has become an enjoyable routine, with more things to explore and plans to update every day. I love to use mind-mapping now!

Integral Theory and Life Practice. I discovered how integral theory focuses on the synthesis of different perspectives and methodologies, starting with a perspective that everyone is right, in the sense that everybody has some important pieces of truth, and can make a useful contribution to the integral whole. Drawing on both Western and Eastern traditions of psychology and meditation, integral life practice promotes balanced growth involving body, mind, shadow, and spirit. Prompted by my new friend in Soest, the Netherlands, I started reading about the work of integral philosopher Ken Wilber, and then delved into Wilber's books directly with a view to improving my own integral 'operating system' for work and life. It resonated with me! And Don Beck's writing about Spiral Dynamics added further perspective by explaining how individual people and societies can evolve in a positive spiral of 'memes' towards an integral level.

Attractor Factor. Some of the powerful messages in the 2006 book The Secret revisited me in the fourth quarter of the year, and I understood anew how important it is to focus on 'being' rather than on 'doing.' The law of attraction says that we experience what we think, and that what goes on in our mind is therefore critically important. As Joe Vitale captures it in the Attractor Factor, "what you hold in your mind with energy and focus will tend to be created in your reality." So I realized more profoundly that I will always attract more of what I think and focus on, and I questioned myself about what I have been attracting, what my mind has focused on. I have now started working on thinking and visualizing even better and bigger things, so that they can get attracted into my life and become reality, starting immediately. I'm having fun doing this!

What symbols did I use to guide me this year?

• Ken Wilber's four quadrants for an integral approach
• Positive spiral for adaptive management
• Ganesha as the lord of thresholds and remover of obstacles (see picture)

What did I discover about myself?

• My top 5 talents, from Buckingham's Now, Discover Your Strengths
• My signature strengths, from jotting down my likes and dislikes while 'on the go'
• That I should partner with people who have complementary strengths to mine
• That I still don't smile enough, according to two friends in Ubud

What books did I enjoy reading?

• Now, Discover Your Strengths, by Marcus Buckingham
• A Brief History of Everything, by Ken Wilber
• Ken Wilber: Thought as Passion, by Frank Visser
• After Dark, by Haruki Marukami
• The Shadow of the Wind, by Carlos Ruiz Zafón

What movies did I enjoy watching?

• How Art Made the World, by BBC (old)
• This Is It!, Michael Jackson's last work (new)
• Several nice movies, but why can't I remember their titles now?

What music did I enjoy listening to?

• Dreams 3, by Café del Mar
• The Best of Act One, by Anthony Warlow
• Spirit, by Leona Lewis
• Didn't spend enough time making music myself

What surprised me?

• Portrait of a Russian boy who looks a lot like me (see picture), in the Hermitage
• Encounter with a sheep (see picture), in my friend's country home in Belgium
• 'Zorba the Buddha' and Ganesha symbolize the same ideas for life

What made me laugh?

The laughing head given to me by a friend at a Christmas party (see the picture). The grass started growing after a week of watering. What a nice inspiration for the new year!

What made me proud as father?

• See my older daughter take charge of her studies with good results
• See my younger daughter take steps to pursue her dream of acting

What were some of my favorite places to spend time?

• Balcony of my Manila apartment overlooking the Makati Sports Club
• Fully Booked bookshop in Manila's Power Plant mall
• Outdoor shower in Ubud, Bali (see picture of leaves on wall)

What new places made an impression?

• The new Hermitage Museum in Amsterdam
• Yudongxia Gorge in Guiyang City, People's Republic of China
• The labyrinth of waterways in Gold Coast, Australia
• The rustic Beukenhof hostelry in Oegstgeest, the Netherlands
• Restaurants in Madrid, the capital of Spain

What were my favorite things to do?

• Making presentations
• Coaching people
• Mind-mapping
• Preparing smoothies
• Traveling and connecting

What else was new in 2009?

• Mr. Anjo, my new hair stylist who gave me a new look
• Understanding spiral dynamics, introduced by Don Beck
• Facebook and Linked-in, which I joined in a modest way
• Rapid manifestation, putting the Attractor Factor into play

What will I aim for in 2010?

• Attracting my life goals by positive intent, being clear, and letting go
• Spending even more quality time with my loved ones
• Having a great time in coaching and team building
• Connecting and celebrating more with my friends
• Seeing my place in Ubud develop (see pool picture for inspiration)
• Further expanding my horizons

If I had to sum up this end-of-year reflection into one sentence, it would be Joe Vitale's statement that "what you hold in your mind with energy and focus will tend to be created in your reality." Since I can practice this several times in a day, the challenge of keeping balance in life is getting to be much more fun than before!

PS: Some friends have already replied that they felt attracted into making similar end-of-year reflections and writing down life goals.

Photograph: End-of-year reflections.

Better view

2009-11-15T07:37:00.008+08:00

“People are different.”
– a fellow traveler

That seems true enough on the surface, yet it inspired me to see if they really different at a deeper level, and if so, in what way?

As I watched the first two episodes of the BBC series How Art Made the World this week, I was struck by the startling evidence of similarities in the perspectives of people across time and space.

In art, we are taught that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. And this made me wonder if the differences between people could be largely dependent on the beholder’s perspective too?

Take a look at how the Egyptians depicted humans in their visual arts, unchanged over thousands of years during their civilization. Such consistency is unthinkable in our rapidly changing world of today. The Egyptian way of visualizing people was carefully crafted and uniformly maintained with great discipline. Time passed, the perspective stayed the same.

Then watch the similarities in how our ancestors painted animals on cave walls across historical Europe, and how close these resemble the rock wall paintings in South Africa made just a couple of hundred years ago. They might have painted for similar reasons, as the documentary suggests, showing what they saw in their mind as they traveled in and out of the spiritual realm during altered states of consciousness that were induced by spending time in dark and narrow spaces.

When Picasso explored the famous bull paintings in the Lascaux cave in France in 1940, he declared that “we have learned nothing in twelve thousand years," attesting to the enduring similarities in art and artists over such a long time.

And observe how the chubby, impersonal “Venus” statuettes from prehistoric times, discovered in many places across Europe and beyond, look remarkably similar. Yet there is no indication that the communities who made these images were not in touch with each other, so how could they produce such similar visions of people? The documentary suggests that the perspective was determined by the tribes’ shared view of their existence as hunter-gatherers. Different places, same perspective.

Jump in the time machine and switch for a moment to today’s global challenges and the politics to address them…

When President Bill Clinton spoke in June 2009 to promote global cooperation for the survival of mankind, he urged people to focus on their similarities. “We are genetically 99.5 percent the same,” he said, yet “from time immemorial, people have fought over identity rooted in that (half percent). We should have spent more time thinking about that other 99.5 percent of ourselves.”

And summing up the prospects for success, he concluded that “if we have a chance, it has to begin by people accepting that they can be proud of who they are without despising who someone else is.” Such messages are now broadcast in electronic images, across vast distances.

Focusing on similarities has a compelling logic, yet unlike in the Egyptian and early European times, in today’s world it seems difficult to do. Even if people might be similar in many ways, they seem to be hard-wired to look for their differences in their continuous search for meaning and creative expression, and as they work hard to make money from products and services that have to stand out from others to be marketable.

Meanwhile, wars and conflicts keep filling news stories, showing that plenty of people around the world are still committed to despising each other because of perceived differences.

And yet, look around and observe that globalization trends continue to diminish or wipe out diversity, as illustrated by the phenomenon of Starbucks and other global brands. While people keep focusing on differences, diversity and uniqueness, increasing numbers end up drinking the same coffee, wearing similar clothes, and using the same computer software and other accessories.

What more is there to discover about similarities and differences? Turning back to history, the BBC documentary points out that people did go through very dramatic changes in their societies, which altered their outlook drastically and made them look at themselves and their fellow humans in a totally different way.

For example, when the Egyptians became exposed to the Greeks, a new way of visualizing people emerged synergetically in art, which was soon to inspire people across their lands, and later spread from Greece to other parts of Europe and even across the world.

And the hunter-gatherers who created the Venus statuettes and cave paintings stopped doing so rather abruptly around the same time as they evolved into societies organized around agriculture.

While spending time in these musings, I also continue my exploration to understand integral theory and wonder how it might be applied to stimulate personal growth and foster sustainable development in today’s world.

From reading philosopher Ken Wilber’s A Brief History of Everything, I am discovering how his AQAL model of integral theory suggests that the development of individuals and of societies can be compared to climbing a ladder. The components of his metaphor are the ladder, the climber, and the different views that appear when climbing the ladder.

Wilber argues that as people grow and societies evolve, they can negotiate higher levels in development, much like climbing the rungs of a ladder, and that the process of moving from one level to another is both challenging and a one-way street. Once a higher level is reached and inhabited, the view of self and the world changes into an expanded version, which becomes less and less egocentric and narcissistic.

He refers to three important stages of development (for individuals and their cultures) as being egocentric, ethnocentric, and world-centric, and he quotes research results claiming to show that roughly two-thirds of the world’s population today still live in egocentric and ethnocentric stages.

Wilber also explains that a smooth journey upwards on the ladder is by no means assured, and that as they grow, people and societies tend to leave dismembered parts of their identity behind “in the basement,” from where these “shadows” conspire to reduce the energy for further growth until they are faced and re-integrated.

As a result, greater depth (moving higher on the ladder) comes with lesser span (fewer people reaching, and living from these higher levels).

If it is true that a majority of people are still living in egocentric and ethnocentric stages of development that focus predominantly on their individual needs and those of their groups, it might well be very difficult for the world to respond to the challenge posed by President Clinton to look for what people have in common rather than their differences.

As I continue to read about higher world-centric and integral stages of development, with their changing and ever wider views from the higher rungs of the ladder, it seems that while science and art show that people throughout history have always shared much in common, the differences between people today remain huge in their own eyes and in the prevailing worldviews of the egocentric and ethnocentric “membership” societies they live in.

A piece of good news seems to be that all through history people have found it possible to climb up the ladder of expanding consciousness, where they discovered more similarities and greater depths of existential experience. And Wilber claims that the number of people living today with integral worldviews, while still very small, is growing rapidly.

Throughout human history, art has always been an important channel of expression for the mystics who climbed the ladder and transcended their own society’s worldview, from cave paintings to sculptures, from the writings of Thomas à Kempis to the poetry of Rumi, from the writings attributed to Lao Tze to the koans of zen masters over time, from the questioning and deconstructive prose of Osho to the lyrics and humming in a universe “written on air” by Jim Paredes, and in countless other artistic expressions around the world.

It seems that, when seen from higher rungs on the ladder of consciousness, people’s similarities as well as their different worldviews can come into a clearer perspective. Climbing that ladder may allow people to see that they are not so different after all, but that their worldviews are. And the different worldviews of these “beholders” are what largely inspires their perceptions, actions, and art.

As I continue climbing, I find that the view keeps getting better.

Photograph: Better view at the end of war. Liberation monument commemorating 5 May 1945 in Wageningen, the Netherlands.

Integral discipline

2009-10-10T22:18:00.011+08:00

"Read everything he writes. It will change your life."
- Deepak Chopra

Stirred doesn't quite describe what happened, shaken is more like how I felt, an almost rude awakening. And the shaker?

On a typical day he gets up between 3 and 5 in the morning in his house overlooking the mountains around Boulder, Colorado. After an hour or two of meditation he works until early afternoon. This is followed by an hour of weightlifting to keep him grounded in his body. The afternoons are for chores, and after a meal around 5 pm, he spends his time watching a movie, visiting friends and reading something light. In the biography Thought as Passion on the life of Ken Wilber, Frank Visser wrote in that the world-renowned philosopher leads a disciplined life.

Listening to Wilber give his 4-day interview on Kosmic Consciousness to Tami Simon of Sounds True, I heard a master story teller clarifying profound dimensions of science and spirituality with ease and empathy, always speaking in a light-hearted manner full of jests about himself and his accomplishments. Discipline remains invisible below the surface.

Over the past four decades, Wilber's integral philosophy has changed the lives of millions of people. He is quoted by www.integrallife.com as the internationally acknowledged leader and preeminent scholar of the Integral stage of human development, which continues to gather momentum around the world, and as the most widely translated academic writer in America, with his 25 books translated in some 30 languages. He has also been called one of the most controversial and profound thinkers of our age, and is the first psychologist-philosopher in history to have his collected works published while still alive, and at the time he was only 48.

Behind the success and smooth presentation of philosopher and story teller Ken Wilber lies a fascinating and inspirational story of determination to overcome challenges.

After trading in an all-American image and dropping out of Duke university, Wilber took a job as dishwasher to support himself in writing his first books in the seventies. He talks about a personal transition and decision to “get into interior growth”, and then experiencing a strong burst of it. After graduating from another university, his first book at the age of 23 became the foundation of what was later to become his integral theory. However, The Spectrum of Consciousness, after completion in 1973, was only published in 1977 after having been turned down by numerous publishers.

Once published, the book made him famous overnight as a leading thinker in the fields of psychology and philosophy. To write the book, he had labored in thought for three years while doing his manual job, and worked on reading and research for about ten months, wrote Visser. This was followed by a month or more of tortuous 15-hour bouts of typing, supported by a gallon of milk and naps on the sofa.

In later years, Wilber kept up his production of books with ever wider scope of application, and spent more and more of his working life in self-imposed isolation, serving time in solitary research and writing supported by a vast collection of books and videos.

Interspersed with these productive years were periods where Wilber was forced to deal with intense personal challenges, which led to pauses in his writing. Talking about the years of caring for his partner Treya Killam Wilber, who died of cancer in 1989, he remarked that “the pain, terror, agony was so horrible – either you really just committed suicide or come out on the other side, with a quantum leap in growth.”

The suffering was further complicated as he found himself affected by a little-known enzyme deficiency disease that crippled his work for while. Talking with Tami Simon about these periods of affliction, he said that “if you’re lucky enough to deal with them, you can accelerate growth, and if not, you can really go to hell.” In retrospect, he considered this time to be the most important transformative period in his life.

After passing through these dark valleys, he resumed his writing and shared what he had learned through these tribulations in Grace and Grit, which was published in 1991 and attracted many new readers.

Wilber encountered further torment at key stages in the development of his integral theory. The birth of his masterpiece Sex, Ecology and Spirituality in the mid 1990s was intense, he told Tami Simon, and the subsequent period involved a trying period of “dying to my own Ken Wilberness.” Later he would suffer frustrating flare-ups of the enzyme deficiency disease, causing a down-period of more than half a year.

He is remarkably transparent about the evolution of his integral theory, and how he made corrections in later years to his earlier model. In his interview with Tami Simon he describes these periods of retrospection and failing forward as extremely hard and disturbing emotionally and physically, and “plutonium intense.”

While his books map out what seem to be continuously positive evolutionary paths (and spirals) of development from pre-personal to personal, trans-personal and nondual stages, he doesn’t restrict himself to a positive lens. Instead, he underlines that each evolutionary stage actually comes with new challenges and chances to mess it up on an ever grander scale, individually and as societies.

Hence, he explains, we experience not only breakthroughs in health, education, economic development and spiritual empowerment, but also Auschwitz, continued destructive wars, 9/11, environmental degradation, and global warming.

To deal with these choices and challenges that the evolution of human consciousness brings, he underlines the importance of will and personal discipline in a recent interview on the website of the Integral Institute he founded with friends. “To have some muscle to exercise your will, your volition, your capacity to make these choices in the midst of what reality hands you, is absolutely crucial. Since we have so little emphasis on discipline and will, basically you're just at the mercy of your whichever will speaks loudest.” Wisdom grown from personal experience and choices, no doubt.

I was first introduced to Ken Wilber and his philosophy by my teacher Jim Paredes during the Tapping the Creative Universe workshop in Manila in 2003. However it took until this year for me to get immersed in Wilber’s integral theory and to explore its meaning for my life and work.

As Wilber explains about his now-famous 4 quadrants of the subjective “I”, the objective “It”, the intersubjective “We”, and the interobjective “Its,” it is all too easy to limit oneself to live in any one of these four perspectives. Reading integral theory should therefore not remain an exercise in the objective realm of “It”, so I started my own travel into the subjective interior by reading and listening about Wilber’s trials and tribulations on his own internal journey to “integral.” I have also started involving others around me in exploring integral theory, to allow me explore “We” dimensions together with them.

Of my integral journey so far, I found Wilber’s mountain-top views breathtaking, and I am most impressed, indeed shaken, by the example of his own travels and the part that discipline and will have played in the life of this master storyteller.

Deepak Chopra was right to say that reading Wilber can change your life. I keep reading him.

Photograph: Balloon over Flanders.

Counting in Three

2009-05-31T22:21:00.010+08:00

"The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature."
- Joseph Campbell

Three is a magic number for understanding what is important in life. Most religions have trinities.

In local Balinese communities, I found that life is supported by beliefs that are surprisingly straightforward and relevant for the world today. In popular terms, the Balinese trinity, or Tri Hita Karana, goes as follows.

First, to live in harmony with God or "the most supreme". Second, to cultivate mutual understanding and help each other. Third, to care for the environment, recognizing that the same life force is present in all beings.

Each of these three life supports are connected and follows from the others. Together, they become like a circle, without end or beginning.

Seen by Balinese people as a holistic foundation for everyday life and celebrated in numerous community festivities throughout the year, the application of this trinity seems as profound as Bhutan's concept of pursuing gross national happiness.

In these two places, matching the beat of one's nature with Nature is both a commitment and a daily opportunity.

Photograph: To the cremation, Ubud, Bali.

Touched in Bali

2009-05-04T10:09:00.010+08:00

"Life is entertained only through the phenomena that constitute our experience."
- Roger Ames and David Hall

My forehead rested on the wooden plank as the sun shone intensely warm into the upper floor of the bale.

I could feel a trickle of sweat gliding down to the floor, like children on a slide in slow motion. My arms resting behind me, palms open, I surrendered to the moment.

Feeling directly intimate with one's experience, the teacher from New Zealand said, is the heart of yoga. No need for seeking of some-thing, no need for traveling to reach some-where, no need for depending on some-future, but to enjoy what is already manifest in our unique self.

Wizened yet flexible and full of vitality, Mark Whitwell captured our attention and intent as if he held us all in the palm of his hand. There is a yoga practice for everyone in this room, he promised us, telling us not to adapt any commercialized yoga style. In stead, let yoga adapt to you. Find the yoga that is for you, he said, and do your yoga, every day. Do your yoga…

And I did, this morning, merged with my Dao practice. I look forward to another yoga class on Wednesday. As I rediscover myself in Ubud this week, my senses are alert to find out what is waiting to touch me as I walk the next steps on my path. I am tapping my creative universe.

According to Roger Ames and David Hall, creativity is always reflexive and is exercised over and with respect to "self." In their magnificent interpretation of Daodejing entitled Making This Life Significant, they explain that in the cosmology of Dao, people who tap into creativity and "have their stuff together" change the world around them. In the Dao, developing integrity "is a co-creative process in which one shapes and is shaped by one's environing circumstances."

This is what I set myself to experience now, to shape and be shaped by the influences from my environment, with heightened awareness.

From opening my body in sweaty stretches to enjoying delightful meals and taking in the cool breeze and verdant greens surrounding me, I learn to entertain life through these phenomena here and now.

Photograph: Verdant green in Ubud.

Real sin

2009-04-09T11:01:00.027+08:00

"There is only one real sin, and that is to persuade oneself that the second-best is anything but the second-best."
- Doris Lessing

How to stop missing the mark? Is that what the sin question is about?

Most religious traditions talk about sin as something that people do that goes against certain morals or rules, and is therefore prohibited or considered wrong in society. Some Christians have gone beyond that to refer to sin as a life-long condition or state of mind.

Followers of Christian traditions have for millennia been warned against seven deadly sins, named as extravagance or lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride. To oppose and substitute for these sins, they were reminded to practice seven holy virtues of chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility.

Some protestant Christians went as far as saying that, due to original sin, humanity had lost any and all capacity to move towards reconciliation with God.

In Islam, religious scholars have over time compiled as many as 70 major sins, which are described as acts rather than states of being. Many other traditions hold similar views of sin, with a focus on the notion of wrongful acts.

In an interesting recent update, the Vatican in 2008 added a warning against what it called seven modern social sins, including environmental pollution, genetic manipulation, obscene wealth, infliction of poverty, drug trafficking, morally debatable experiments, and violation of the fundamental rights of human nature.

As with so many things in life, one can also explore and adopt different perceptions about sin. The prevalent one has been to focus on the quality of the act, and its consequences. You do something wrong, and this is what will happen to you. If you repent, here is how you can atone for the sins you have committed. And, of course it is better to avoid doing wrong in the first place.

There is, however, another perception that is quite opposite, which is to regard sin as missing out on something. Remarkably, the ancient Greeks regarded sin as "missing the mark" or target, like in archery. And the biblical Hebrew word for sin had the same meaning. Their perception was about something that is missed, and how to do a better job of hitting the mark next time, like an archer honing his skills.

Interestingly, some early definitions of the concept of the deadly sin of sloth took a similar perspective when they called it the sin of sadness, of apathy, depression, joylessness, uneasiness of the mind, an absence or insufficiency of love. All these terms refer to a human condition of missing out on what is good.

In Dante's Purgatorio, penitents for sloth had to run continuously to make up for what they had missed in life.

In recent times, the more prominent perception of the sin of sloth has been as a failure or indifference to utilize one's talents and gifts. As Wikipedia puts it, it is more a sin of omission than of commission.

This notion of missing out may be what Doris Lessing referred to when she put the now famous words about sin and second-best in Anna Wulf's mouth, in The Golden Notebook. Her relentless focus was on choosing to do the best.

Commenting that laughter was by definition healthy, Lessing found herself very much on the positive side of human endeavor. "Any human anywhere will blossom in a hundred unexpected talents and capacities simply by being given the opportunity to do so," she said.

While the traditional black-and-white doctrines of sin to mark things to be avoided are still prevalent in today's world, my sense is that more and more people choose to focus on the positive side, to get better at setting and hitting their marks and enjoying a fulfilling life.

No longer held back by popular religion's dire warnings of punishment for sinful wrongdoing in this world or the next, the new notion of sin as "missing the mark" is inspiring me and many others to live "integral" lives and let go off fear and the sin of accepting second-best.

Perhaps that is what the spiritual leaders of ancient times had in mind too.

Photograph: Passage in Topkapi palace, Istanbul.

Way with change

2009-04-06T08:54:00.016+08:00

"Change is a law."
- Dan Millman

Life is forever changing. Indeed I can say that life is all about change.

As an introverted soul, I always look forward to recharging my battery in moments of solitude and quiet. And when I sit still in a quiet room, it can seem for a moment as if my world comes to rest, without tiring changes. Then it turns out to be an illusion.

The antics of my own mind continue to create activity, and even late at night I hear a bus driver blaring his horn in frustration of someone else who blocks his way in speeding to the next stop.

It is difficult, if not impossible to be still and resist change.

I know how meditation can help me observe my mind and its endless flow of thoughts, but I also know the mind cannot be shut down. Within its own constraints of repetition and extrapolation, it keeps ever vibrant.

And outside my awareness, millions of cells in my body are regenerating all the time, and my heartbeat and breathing are continuing uninterrupted.

Meanwhile, all around me the earth keeps spinning at a dizzying pace, unseen to anyone but the scientists who monitor such movement.

How can I find moments of peace and freedom of action within such relentless movement and continuous change taking place all around and inside me?

Can I practice having little retreats while continuing to be a participant in this circus of movement and changes called the Universe?

A few weeks ago, I was looking forward to a long journey, expecting that the many hours of travel would offer a good opportunity for a soul retreat. Yet what I experienced was a non-stop sequence of moments and events, some more memorable than others.

Reaching the destination, I discovered that being surrounded by thousands of people for a week-long conference offered even fewer chances for solitude.

With my fellow traveler's ingenuity, we found that the only place for a quiet recharge during the daytime was to sit in the back row of the large auditoriums, like using a cinema to rest rather than seeing the movie.

As I write this, hundreds of people keep passing by the windows of the coffee shop, going from cinemas to shops and vice versa. Each of them living a life, with emotions, challenges, and changes to face. An amazing totality really, this Universe.

Every day, the world offers me new insights, new points of view, new challenges, and new opportunities. I feel immersed in it like in a fast-flowing river.

Hour by hour, day by day, I allow myself to float, to observe the changes, stopping myself from resisting the flow. Choosing to adapt to changes is starting to feel like a game I can play.

So what time do I really have to recharge my battery, to realize what my options are, to how to decide among alternatives, to take action, to enjoy passion, and to deliver results?

Since the past is already behind me, and the future continues to elude me ahead, I find myself enjoying to turn to zero, to the moment where everything is possible, where everything can be done, to the now, to the present moment.

As I reflect, I no longer cling to my mind's thoughts, to time, to anything really. Through my moments of passion and my times of living flatly, I find myself happy most of the time, either with or without a reason. I can smile.

To have more time later today, or tomorrow, to do what I dream of, is an illusion. There is no such thing.

There is only now, and my decision how to use this present moment. To consciously do something that brings me closer to realizing my life dreams.

Or to let myself wander farther off these goals. Or, to simply go with the flow with a sense of wonder, ready to discover something new as I move further along the river.

I can see now what made Dan Millman choose the title for his book The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, which he confidently subtitled saying that it would change lives.

I can live in the present moment with the peaceful heart of a mystic and a warrior's spirit of discipline. Working simultaneously with my logos or reason from the right brain, and with my mythos or intuition from the left brain. Thank you, Dan!

Photograph: Istanbul, witness to millennia of changes.

Spark me

2009-02-28T22:38:00.003+08:00

"We shape the clay into a pot, but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want."
- Tao Te Ching

It happened today.

After lying wrapped in a shiny yellow cloth high on a shelf in my apartment for more than a year, Atintya has now moved to adorn the wall of my bedroom, mounted on a slab of Philippine narra hard wood, courtesy of Noli, the owner of one of Manila's more famous art houses, Renaissance Gallery.

Everything has its time, but for Atintya to come out took much longer than I expected. I celebrated today, for this and other reasons. Who needs a reason, anyway? Life awaits my decision to celebrate any day.

Decorating my living place is important to me. I like to be surrounded by images that inspire me. What an opportunity it is to choose items to adorn my home! To see things that resonate with me and my dreams.

I read that relationships between life partners are bound to fare better if their home is adorned with their pictures. I have come to believe that this is true. Precious relationships need treasuring, and having visual reminders inspires me to do so daily.

It is no different in places of worship, I believe. Temples and churches present visual reminders of the invisible power of the universe, the keys to life. Asia is full of images of deities, so rich, somewhat like the catholic church with its plentiful images of saints. These all remind me of the magic of life, and inspire me to share this with others.

I have selected or consciously welcomed all pieces of art and decoration in my home to inspire me. All carry meaning to me. I try to celebrate them everyday, and to open myself to draw inspiration from them.

Atintya is special to me. Pictured in meditation and surrounded by flames on key parts of the body, the image is a representation of Sang Hyang Widhi Wasa, the “one supreme unknowable God.” Atintya is said to have gained importance in Bali because he falls in line with religious beliefs that revolve around a single god, of whom all other gods are manifestations.

Atintya inspires me to be totally alive, from top to toe, to connect with the almighty universe. And to spark others around me to be similarly alive.

No less, and can't be more.

Photograph: Atintya.

We are social

2009-02-22T23:54:00.004+08:00

Isn't it obvious? Everyone in the world is connecting with others. Yet to do it consciously, with awareness, is another story.

Inspired by Jim Paredes some years ago I started reading Ken Wilber, and have done so more often of late. Wilber helps people to increase there awareness to live in four realities at the same time. He maps them as quadrants, the interior "I" and "it", and the exterior "we" and "its."

Doing a quick "quad scan" several times a day helps to expand consciousness, to gain new perspectives on a situation, and live mindfully and "awake". I found that, at any time, I tend to live in one of the quadrants more than the others. When that awareness arises, it comes with a realization that I am missing out on quality experience in the other three, and on the synergies that a more integral awareness brings.

Quad scans are easy to do, I found. It just takes me a minute or much less. In terms of relating with other people, it helps me review a situation quickly when I am with someone. Whether it is at home, work, with friends, traveling, in a shop, or other situations, there are questions to ask myself.

Why am I meeting this person? How do I feel about meeting this person, right now? And how does he/she seem to be feeling about meeting me? What could be the purpose of the meeting, beyond the obvious reasons? What does the other person want to get out of the meeting? Can his/her views broaden my perspective? Is there an opportunity to make a win-win move with the other person, on the spot? What options do I have, and what action can I decide to take?

Such a scan of the "we" quadrant can be quick, very quick, like thinking and feeling on my feet, at the same time, with heightened senses and awareness, because I have decided to be awake to the relationship in the moment, on the spot.

In his Tapping the Creative Universe workshop, Jim told us to pay attention to "connections" when we show up to be present in each moment. Scanning my quads now starts to fascinate me, and I do it more often. I always believed in synchronicity and serendipity, and I realized that it takes me to switch on my antenna to get the benefits, and hopefully bring some benefits to others on my path.

I am flying from Ho Chi Minh City to Manila as I write this, and reading the English daily in Viet Nam often inspires me with some interesting life stories, most of which with a positive view.

Today I read about Nguyen Son, once a poor boy pushing a cart to sell coal on the streets of Hanoi, now a well-known architect and director of his own bureau. The story recounts how he lately realized that his passion lies with music, supplemented with painting and poetry. His songs are now favorites with young Vietnamese.

I read how Laurent Habrard, a vigneron in the Rhone valley of France is coloring his business green, conserving water use, insulating the farm buildings, using alternative sources of energy. Cutting out middlemen, he has taken to direct online marketing of his wines. He sends samples of his produce in vacuum glass tubes through regular mail (the mailman goes anyway, no extra CO2 produced) to anyone who wants to taste them.

Another article describes how the city of Paris is drilling holes to tap geothermal hot water to help provide hot water to homes and reduce energy costs.

For all the shocks that we are experiencing in the global economy today, the world is still full of stories of people moving forward with a positive attitude, with creativity and courage. I expect that stories like these in Viet Nam News can inspire people anywhere into action to write the next chapter of their life story on the blank pages that are waiting.

It certainly works for me, and I will start writing my 53rd chapter on the blank pages from tomorrow, enjoying to live in the now, practicing to scan my quads, and letting myself be inspired socially by people around me, close and far.

Photograph: Social at the village temple in Cham island, Viet Nam.

Daily nerve

2009-02-01T11:40:00.011+08:00

"Last good nerve of the day."
- my daughter

There is no other way. Life restarts every morning around the world. In nature and over the vast bodies of water that make up our blue planet. In rural and urban homes, from hovels to apartments and palaces.

In company offices, healthy, financially troubled, or simply unsure of what 2009 will bring. In stock exchanges and regulatory offices. On the work floors of factories, still thriving or getting eerily quiet.

For those who are focused on restoring financial security, and for those who press for using the opportunity of the financial crisis to halt climate change and create a sustainable world with new paradigms.

Life starts anew every day, and for every one. Grand visions of a better life and a better world are still achieved through journeys of daily steps, each of them involving personal choices and smart work to overcome the odds.

To make ends meet for loved ones in challenging times continues to require a daily journey of perseverance, seeing and using opportunities, and making smart personal choices in many moments throughout the day.

In sum, these daily journeys are about taking personal responsibility for life, and for consistently doing the small things that add up to big results which in turn build, or rebuild, our life dreams. Blaming others can feel great, but doesn't help at all.

This early in the year, getting organized to turn my resolutions for 2009 into results is important to me. I need to feel confident that I keep making progress on my journey, that I walk on the right path, and avoid getting stuck in dead-end side roads.

So I have been focusing these past weeks on how to make small steps consistently, which continues to challenge me daily. I need to keep creating and sticking with good habits. Having done well yesterday amounts to little when the new day arrives. I need to nurture and reinforce positive habits on a daily basis to get the results I want!

This year, several of my new year's resolutions have made it into a nifty little application called Joe's goals that I discovered "accidentally" on the internet. It allows people to jot down their intentions, positive ones to reinforce, and negative ones to get rid off. Daily achievement is tracked by simply clicking on the ones that were "done." A simple click is all it takes for a nice green tick to record the good result.

I read years ago that when people manage to keep doing something new for 30 days, there is a high chance that they will continue doing it out of habit. It is human nature to do so. I will test this hypothesis in this 1st quarter of 2009!

Yet for all the planning I can do and improvements I can make, life continues to surprise me with unexpected turns and messy situations, and I have decided to welcome that too.

Last week, I dropped my notebook computer on the floor, and the screen's backlight stopped working. Not something to make into a habit, for sure. Thankfully, I found that I could get the hard disk swapped easily into another unit by the ever helpful IT colleagues in my office, even during the weekend. What a relief!

It made me think that I need to get better organized with my computering this year, especially for my personal stuff, which is now stored on the same computer I use for work after my old Pentium IV home PC broke down a year ago.

I decided that I want to graduate to a Mac for my personal use. I realized that I prefer a simple computing environment with programs that look after my needs with minimum fuss. Mac works that way, and I will keep my notebook PC for office. I'm now waiting for Life 09 to be bundled with Mac, which will hopefully happen this month.

In another area of life, after almost of two years of study in my free time, I graduated from my life coaching course just before the new year. It marks a big milestone for achieving one of my life dreams, which is to help people around me live better "now."

At the end of the day, I now enjoy tabulating the results of my good intentions in Joe's Goals. They are all personal, and they matter to me, like my daughter savors what she calls her "last good nerve of the day."

Photograph: An observing bird in Bali zoo.

Blooming revolution

2009-01-02T14:15:00.018+08:00

“People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong. Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?”
- Thich Nhat Hanh

The air entering my home is unexpectedly cool, as if to remind that a fresh new year has started. The urban horizon is surprisingly clear too, its pollution blown away by a steady breeze from the north.

The tail of China’s winter has come to touch Manila, with temperatures indoors dropping to a low 25 degrees. Although I wear as little as possible, I appreciate that my clothes are keeping me warm today, rather than just dressed.

Two themes have been on my mind as I reflected on the coming year 2009: simplicity and strength.

Several friends in Japan reminded me last month how they are used to treasuring simplicity in their life, as a central part of their culture.

One has recently returned to his home in snowy Niigata prefecture after living more than 2 decades in tropical splendor abroad. He described to me how he built a retirement home that “looks like a small hut.” He anticipates spending time for hiking, playing saxophone, and gardening.

Another hinted at the power of simplicity as she explained how foreign royalty visiting Japan are often mystified with the simple unadorned lifestyles of the members of its imperial family, who devote much time to scientific study and to dialogue with experts on the development issues that are facing today’s world.

A third has retired from a long and influential public life, and now spends time researching the life of a famous monk from Kyoto in the 16th century to write a book, and also continues his long-standing practice of writing haiku in both Japanese and French.

As I reflected more, I realized that on the flip side of simplicity lies strength. It actually takes strength, and building on strengths, to keep things simple and effective.

It is a Japanese proverb that says that “no branch is better than its trunk.” When a tree nurtures the vital strength of its trunk and roots, it can use that strength to grow healthy branches that bear fruits.

Rather than in Japan, though, it is in neighboring China that a remarkable shift has taken place in recent years that is very much about building on strength.

Back in the year 2000, according to bestselling author Marcus Buckingham in an interview with Business Week, only 24% of the people he surveyed in China thought that leveraging their strengths would be a better way to improve performance than improving their weaknesses.

By last September 2008, however, that percentage had almost tripled to an astonishing 70% of the people he surveyed. This is a much higher proportion than anywhere in Europe and northern America.

Marcus has characterized this movement of focusing on strengths as a revolution. And it certainly seems that this revolution is now blooming in China, perhaps inspired in equal measure by the country’s amazing performance of staging the 2008 Olympics as by its persistent challenges to deliver quality products to the world’s market place.

It comes as no surprise then, that people around the globe have been discovering that they have a choice to build on their strengths. “It is far more lucrative and fun to leverage your strengths in stead of attempting to fix all the chinks in your armor,” wrote Timothy Ferris in his book The 4-Hour Workweek.

So when I considered how to invest my time and effort in the new year, I asked myself what would be a more effective way of writing my new year resolutions for a happy and successful 2009.

Should I push myself harder to do “good things” even if I don’t really enjoy doing them, like writing technical reports, coordinating other people’s work, and managing budgets?

Or focus on getting better at things I am not very good at, such as writing detailed action plans and then implementing them step by step?

Or would it be more effective, and fun, to focus in stead on the things I am really good at and enjoy doing, such as spotting and formulating new ideas and approaches, seeing the big picture of a situation, and reaching out empathetically to others to map out new approaches that will inspire their mission and maximize their performance?

While this choice was not so obvious to me earlier, it became much clearer now, and I decided to join the revolution and build on my strengths in stead of trying hard to improve my weaknesses.

I spent a few nice days reflecting how I could carve out roles and chances to use my talents more often in 2009, and to work on perfecting them with knowledge, skills and practice.

But what about working on improving weaknesses then, what seemed to have been a favorite focus in some of my earlier new year resolutions? Since these weaknesses are still with me, won’t they continue to need my attention as well?

On reflection, I was reminded that every person has a combination of strengths and weaknesses that is truly unique. People’s talents, and individual sense and perception are not common at all.

My talents and how I view the world around me are different from other peoples’ talents and views, in their make up and nuances. And my weaknesses are bound to be another person’s strengths, and vice versa.

So rather than working harder this year on fixing my weaknesses, I decided that it will be more effective and fun to find better ways to manage them. To put my strengths to work to cover some of my weaknesses, and to minimize other weaknesses by seeking contributions from other people whose strengths are complementary to mine.

I realized that by building on strengths, including my own and those of others, I have a better hope of decluttering my activities at the start of the new year, to bring more simplicity into my life, and to experience more great times and results in 2009.

Master Thich Nhat Hanh has, in fact, been spreading that revolutionary message for a long time as he encouraged people to touch their talents and make them bloom.

Photograph: Blooming flowers in Shu coffee shop, central Tokyo.

Sleepless in Solo

2008-12-29T12:24:00.009+08:00

"The more you can dream, the more you can do."
- Michael Korda

Sleeping giant Lawu lies to the East, and Merbabu and Merapi, two active volcanoes are visible when the clouds have cleared in the West.

It is said that the city never sleeps, and I wondered if I would find out the reason during my short visit last week.

As the plane descended after the short hop from Jakarta, the sprawling provincial town of Solo came into view, bounded by verdant rice paddies and a muddy Bengawan Solo, Java island’s longest river.

Not an ordinary city by any means, for Solo has been ruled for centuries by two royal dynasties, one in the larger palace of the Susuhunan or Sultan, and another in the smaller palace of the Mangkunegara. The grand titles of the rulers in the sultan’s palace, Paku Buwono (Center of the World) and Hamengku Buwono (Upholder of the World), are testimony to the city’s world view throughout much of Javanese history.

Solo's god-king was traditionally regarded as the most powerful ruler in the land. Although all kingdoms and local principalities have been subsumed by the Republic of Indonesia, the dynasty has in fact continued.

Not long ago, the succession of the 13th ruler of the dynasty was marked by intense rivalries, showing that the royal family of Solo, although nowadays endowed with far fewer resources and temporal powers, is still vital in Java’s society. The city’s quest to dispense power to the world still lives on.

What kind of power can be so enduring? In Divided Royalty (2005), Mark Forbes gives some hints. He quotes a princess of the palace of the sultan saying that spiritual strength emanates from the palace. And he goes on to explain that “aside from three wives in the physical world, the Sultan is also betrothed to the spirit-queen of the sea, climbing a tall white tower inside the Kraton (palace) each year to service her needs in a private bedchamber.”

Clearly, then, there is more to Solo’s power than can be observed in daylight. It is very much a round-the-clock affair.

On a slightly more modest scale, princes in the second palace go by the title of Mangkunegara (Holder of the Country). This beautiful small palace was established in 1757 and is today the ancestral home of the ninth prince of the dynasty.

One of the rulers, Prince Mangkunegara IV, lived from 1853 to 1881 and was a famous poet. His lines are still recited to musical accompaniment of gamelans across the island, and they can even be heard by extraterrestrials outside our solar system.

Puspa Warna or A Variety of Flowers is one of the well known poems penned by this Prince for a male singer to be accompanied by the traditional Javanese gamelan orchestra, in the pentatonic slendro manyura style. It is said that the piece would be performed for the entrance of the prince.

The text refers to 9 different kinds of flowers, each symbolizing a different rasa or “emotion inspired in an audience by a performer.” They are the kencur (resurrection lily), blimbing (starfruit), duren (durian), aren (sugarpalm), gedhang (banana tree), jati (teak tree), jambé (betel palm), kapas (cotton plant), and pandan (pandanus). The flowers are thought to refer to his favorite companions.

Here is the Prince’s first stanza inspired by the resurrection lily flower:

“Flower of the kencur plant
always talked about with admiration,
her body is well-shaped

and her movements graceful,

she is so charming in speech

that one feels carried away.”

A recording of Puspa Warna was included by Robert E. Brown on the Voyager Golden Record, which was sent into space in 1977 with the Voyager 1 as a greeting to whatever extraterrestrials may find it.

And here is another example of Javanese poetry set to music, a stanza from the rarely performed ladrang Sekar Gadhung, a central Javanese song of unknown origin, again about a flower, and also played on the slendro manyura style gamelan, this one with a female singer.

“Tip of the fingerbone

of a coconut leaf

sweetly, sweetly,

to be in your power
is in fact a remedy.”

One of the most famous gamelan sets in the country to accompany such potent poetry is the Kyai Kanyut Mesem (Drifting in Smiles), which can be enjoyed in the central pendopo (audience hall) of the Mangkunegaran palace in Solo. While smiling and drifting to music and poetry, the appreciative audience can glance up to see the eight-colored painting on the high ceiling.

Each of the eight colors symbolized a power to ward off a variety of sins and disasters. Yellow helped to ward off sleepiness, blue guarded against disaster, black against hunger, green against desire or frustration, white against lust, rose against fear, red against evil, and purple against evil thoughts. The palace offered plenty of inspiration to keep the listeners awake.

Meanwhile, out in the maze of streets and alleys, Solo is famous for its eateries. A variety of delicacies seem to be available around the clock. Eating nasi liwet is a local favorite that attracts visitors from around the country and beyond. The meal of rice cooked in coconut milk, salt and aromatic leaves and mixed with chicken or other meats, can be enjoyed from a folder banana leaf in a street-side restaurant without chairs. Such warungs stay open until late into the night, another reason not to sleep.

An intriguing mix of powers then, is my guess for the reasons why the city is reported not to sleep. Mystical powers that keep Solo placed at the center of the world. Musical powers to celebrate emotions that are inspired by artful composers and skillful performers. And sensual powers nurtured by cooks serving up local delicacies around the clock. And the island’s longest river to carry the city’s name, its name the inspiration for the well known song Bengawan Solo.

I found a place to work and dream. And keep dreaming. The more we dream, the more we can do.

No time for sleep.

Photographs: Sleeping giant volcano Lawu watches Solo from the West (top). The 8 colors warding off sins and disasters, on the ceiling of the audience hall at the Mangkunegaran palace (bottom).

Matters of choice

2008-11-22T18:09:00.009+08:00

“Always be a beginner.” - Lou Paget

“Take the ball early, regular, or late, it is your choice,” Coach Rey told me today during my tennis session. I started following his advice and hitting the returns earlier, while the ball was still on the rise. “Whenever possible, step in, don’t step back”, he said, “take the benefit from coming in early.”

Last night I bought an audio book on the topic of living with passion, from a famous American personal development guru. A few days earlier, two management coaches had remarked on my passion during a discussion about introducing the use of stories to get important messages across in our work. So when I saw the title of the audio book in the shop, my curiosity was aroused to find out more about living life with passion.

I won’t mention the name of the book’s guru because it turned out that I found it hard to appreciate the vocal delivery. Thankfully there are no such problems when reading people’s books. However, the message was interesting. He explained about people having the freedom of choice to turn any experience into a good or a bad one, or anywhere in between, on a scale from -10 to +10. Sounds logical, but in fact it is an extremely valuable concept for daily practice.

And he illustrated this message with …. yes, stories, a host of them. Enough stories, in fact, to fill one CD with just this message. Still, I am going to listen to the other CDs in the package, because I am interested to discover and use more concepts and tools that work, for myself, and in helping people I meet on my path.

I chose to take yesterday off from the office to refresh myself, to sharpen the saw as Covey called it in his classic on the habits of effective people. I spent a delicious sunny morning and cloudy afternoon reflecting on life and work, and I read and wrote about it. A good choice, I realized.

Books are always a source of inspiration for me, so I keep reading and buying them. They open my door to a rich variety of messages, which seem to come to me according to my needs and my readiness to learn something new at any particular time. I rarely finish books. With the whole universe at hand to be experienced from within, I found that I can tap into useful messages as I choose. Books do the trick most of the time. Meeting inspiring people also helps.

A friend remarked recently that relationships and money seem to be central in people’s lives. The second topic is getting more headlines during this time of financial crisis, with this week’s edition of The Economist proclaiming “All you need is cash – Managing in the downturn,” and underlining that there is “No time to waste” when it comes to making choices about American fiscal policy.

I spent more time reflecting on the first topic, that of relationships, and the enduring mysteries of attraction and love between people. And I chose to open a book that I have had on my shelf for years; apparently it was the right time. In it, author Sarah Litvinoff defines four types of people: romantic, sensual, imaginative, and emotional. She explains that people are more or less hardwired with a specific outlook and way of relating with their partner, according to these types, or a combination of them.

Once we know our dominant type and that of our partner, she reasons, we can understand better about the choices we can make in daily communications to inspire the relationship. Somewhat to my surprise, I thoroughly enjoyed reading about the types, discovered my own combination, and gained more clarity how I can apply this new-found knowledge in my life.

Each time I realize the freedom of choice, it brings me forward to square one, and I feel as if I am liberated.

“Always be a beginner,” Lou Paget wrote in one of her famous books about relationships.

I agree, with a passion.

Photograph: Nice choice of views, Puncak, Indonesia.

Without chasing

2008-09-30T22:55:00.012+08:00

"Excitement is the more practical synomym for happiness, and it is precisely what you should strive to chase." - Timothy Ferris

Another day has passed, and half the evening is what I have left of this month of September. I have set myself to write, this blog post, and then some comments on an interesting country report for my daytime job.

Yes, my daytime job… I figured out (again) that I need to reduce the hours I work for that job. Should I try the incremental approach, or a dramatic one?

Timothy Ferriss in his book The 4-Hour Workweek suggested that we escape 9-5, live anywhere, and drastically reduce the number of hours we work from 40 or much more to much less.

Income is relative, Ferris wrote, to how many hours you work for it, and he went on to explain how he loves to spend time traveling around the world and mastering new skills. He called these mini-retirements, and he claimed that he has one for every two months of work projects. A paradigm shift, for sure.

I like many elements of his approach, and reading his book is in many ways like holding up a mirror. It helps me to see my situation and options more clearly. Good books can do that for me, or more likely “the right book for the right time”. A bit of both in this case.

It’s a good start if you know what you are good at and enjoy doing, and I have made lots of discoveries in this area over the past few years, so I feel much better equipped in that way. If you can feel excited about what you do, you are much more likely to do your task well, with positive energy helping you along.

I guess that means working on outsourcing the things I am less keen on, and not very good at. Ferris is on the same wavelength, as he wrote that “it is far more lucrative and fun to leverage your strengths in stead of attempting to fix all the chinks in your armor.”

Making sure that the readers got his point, he added that “most people are good at a handful of things and utterly miserable at most.”

I still have 3 chapters to read before I get to the outsourcing part.

Last week I had the good fortune to attend the opening of Jim Paredes’ new photo exhibit called Skin. And as always when confronted with his artwork and his personal genius, I came away feeling stretched and inspired.

Seeing Jim’s work, I reflected how an artist’s struggle (in this case for nude photography) results in the loss of ego which opens up the space to convey something which needs no description.

And I remembered Gail Sher in her One Continuous Mistake: Four Noble Truths for Writers where she quoted John Ashbery as saying that “I think that any true work of art does defuse criticism; if it left anything important to be said, it wouldn’t be doing its job.”

Jim’s art spoke to me in silence as I listened.

Having worked for seven years on the project, I felt as if the exhibit was at once a celebration of Jim’s achievement and a door to exploring new artistic challenges. Completing and moving on are key ingredients in living well, I realized, as I sat watching the exhibit from behind the white curtains drawn discretely over the gallery’s windows.

I imagined myself cocooned for an eternity moment in an inner part of life’s temple. No wonder Jim chose the aptly named Renaissance Gallery to host his exhibit.

Just a few days later, I found myself floating through the lamp-lit corridors of my daytime workplace after practicing on stage after work for the annual charity show. And I realized it was playing music that was lifting me up, as literally as I could imagine.

Another experience to feel excited about, even without chasing for happiness.

Photograph: Lifted up, but still the shorter of the two blues brothers.

Mud bath

2008-08-17T10:03:00.009+08:00

“A man who values individuals above his own integrity is a wretch, not a free thinker.” – Steve Pavlina

I didn’t know that George Washington was a swindler before turning into a great and altruistic leader.

For most of his life, as Chi-ning Chu wrote in her book Do Less, Achieve More, Washington struggled to gain status and wealth by any means, selfish and at times dishonorable. His many character defects left him with a low reputation among fellow generals of the wannabe republic.

Yet we see his image on dollar bills today, long after he has died. His legacy in helping to found the USA is unparalleled. He became an icon who lives on until today. How could this happen?

Chu explained that the metamorphosis came after destiny caught up with him and his situation had become “so hopeless and desperate that Washington had to consider the possibility of running out west to hide”. He wrote to his brother “I think the game is pretty near over.” At that point, he acknowledged defeat, turned inside and realized the burden of his vanity.

In his dark night of despair, he was able to relinquish all the symbols of status he had collected over the years through personal effort, and he discovered the true meaning of honor and recognition. Chu pointed out that this was the moment that he “merged with his destiny to become the Father of the Nation.”

It turned out that the great hero Washington had “as many human flaws and carried as much emotional baggage as anyone else”. Even more than some, from what I read. The remarkable lesson is that by surrendering to his fate, he discovered and learned about the true nature of his situation and defects. Through that dark night, he evolved into “a heroic man of destiny” in Chu’s words.

I was touched by Chu’s explanation that desperation is a necessary step before surrendering to “Heaven’s will”, as she put it. Despair can bring us to a point where we learn to detach, to acknowledge a state of “I don’t care so much” after all. At that point, a door opens magically to a life of thriving rather than surviving.

After turning inward and surrendering and admitting defeat, Chu said that we can embrace our true destiny. We no longer need to win on a personal basis, as Washington discovered, and this became the turning point for success to come with unexpected grace.

I remember that my history teacher in high school liked to quote the Dutch reverend Ferdinand Domela Nieuwenhuis who said in 1885 that when the churches were made of wood, christians were made of gold, and when the churches were made of gold, christianity became wooden. It was the quality and integrity of the people that mattered most.

In Eastern traditions, great teachers have long reflected that the lotus flower, that supreme symbol of human evolution, doesn’t grow in a nice pot but straight from the mud below. Deep inside that yucky mud something special happens that fertilizes growth and spouts beauty and achievement.

To become a rainmaker like the great George Washington, anyone could make a good start by realizing that he wasn’t so great to begin with―in fact he was a rather poor role model―but that he fell into the mud where the integrity was forged that inspired his leadership and legacy.

What an extraordinary story for someone with so many character defects and ill-gotten wealth to become such a great and respected leader. If that could happen to him, it seems that no one should feel excused from embracing their own grand destiny of helping themselves and those around them.

It can all start with a mud bath.

Photograph: Scaled human sculpture by Ah Xian.

Shake the tree

2008-08-14T19:49:00.008+08:00

“If the whole world praises him, he is not elated. If the whole world condemns him, he is not beaten. In a word, praise and blame cannot change his conduct. Such a man possesses true virtue. As for myself, I am still among those who are influenced by the opinions of others, like the wind moves the waves.”
- Chuang-tzu

I regularly rediscover the need to keep some distance from my likes and dislikes. When I get too close, confusion easily arises about what is the right and wrong course of action, and with emotions mixed in I can no longer see my path clearly.

From a human point of view, stepping back from praise or condemnation is neither logical nor easy. Attaching and engaging in such emotions with like or dislike comes more naturally to me.

During the past weeks I found myself focusing on the practice of giving. I gave special attention to my kids as we spent our holiday together. And I realized the need to give up on attachments that could actually block my way forward. I made a point of surrendering to situations I found myself in, without judgment or hasty conclusions.

Just giving, to take time to pay attention to the other’s needs. My holiday was a good reminder to practice this talent. Or giving back, to those who have generously shared with me from their material treasures or valuable experience.

Giving over, handing responsibility to someone close rather than holding on regardless of what might happen. Giving away, to share treasures with our loved ones. I saw my parents, who are no longer able to go out shopping, give their grandchildren presents from their personal trove of valuables collected over decades, including heirlooms.

Giving up, on ambition but never on my dreams. This is a difficult thing to do, but it can work miracles when it comes to making space for something new that is better suited to my needs. It is a matter of believing that the road ahead can indeed lead to riches. The solution and reward often lie “just around the river bend.”

Giving in, to avoid unproductive arguments with a smile and stay the course flexibly when dealing with all kinds of people around me. On a larger scale, I pondered on surrendering the second game of my life’s match to the universe after battling hard to win the first game through personal effort.

“Correction is regeneration,” said Chuang Tzu. I may need to give up on something today for something better to come my way tomorrow. Once I have figured this out, giving will become a more natural thing to do.

As I left the compound of the D’Omah ("at home") bungalows in Ubud, Bali in the early morning to start the return journey to the Philippines, the receptionist walked over to a frangipani tree and shook it, causing a shower of freshly fragrant flowers to land on my outstretched hands. One shake was all it took when you know that the place from which you give is rich.

Photograph: Giving a silver pill box from generations ago.

Fragile moment

2008-06-17T06:32:00.021+08:00

“We are always at the beginning of things, in the fragile moment that holds the power of life. We are always at the morning of the world.”
- Francois Cheng

Every moment, with awareness of now, brings a new beginning. There is no reason why today should be like yesterday, or the next hour like the last. It is only the mind that extrapolates from the past, because it cannot know the future. The mind is a great and helpful instrument, yet the power of creation and the choice of action lie deep in my soul, where I feel guided by an alchemy of intuition and integrity.

There are times that I feel tested, like a sword being put into a fire. It is not a pleasant feeling, for sure. The past weeks of high pressure at the work place have inflicted a toll. My attitude and response-ability under stress showed up, as if someone was holding a mirror in front of me and I could see the cracks and impurities clearly. There was no one else to blame for the situation than myself. Yet I realized that reflecting on victim-itis has always been an exercise in futility.

I took a step back and looked at the whole mirror, not just the cracks. I thought of Jim Paredes’ rules of tapping the creative universe, starting with Show Up, and Pay Attention, and then to observe the “dots” connecting in ways not seen before.

At that point, a friend sent me a link to Steve Pavlina’s post How to Be a Man. I found the piece of exceptional value and a joy to read.

Steve’s first point is about men understanding and respecting the power of choice. “He lives a life of his own creation.” And his third point also held a reminder for me: “A man grows more from failure than he does from success. Success cannot test his resolve in the way that failure can. Success has its challenges, but a man learns more about himself when he takes on challenges that involve risk.”

These points certainly applied to my pressure at work, which was of my own making by taking on a challenging project with little time to complete preparations. And I realized that this had been the right thing for me to do, and that I would not be put down if the project or a part of it would not succeed.

“When a man plays it safe, his vitality is lost, and he loses his edge,” concluded Steve.

I got a kick out of that, as I realized that courage and persistence are two of my most valuable allies, and that I could choose to apply them in any fragile moment to unleash the power of life.

PS: Steve Pavlina's sequel How to Be a Woman was written by 52 women.

Photograph: Sun in Intramuros, Manila.

Writing down

2008-06-02T06:32:00.009+08:00

“He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know.”
-- Lao Tzu

Where does that leave a writer? Writing is a quiet business, done at my table, away from the action. Showing up for writing is different from opening my mouth.

Paying attention to writing is to translate quietly what happens in and around me in words. I work to characterize a bigger scene by focusing on a fewer pieces that make it up, using these to capture a bigger picture in words that will hopefully be spell binding in simplicity.

Like in many other things, the pursuit of perfect can be the enemy of the good in writing too. A friend reminded me last week how important it is to just keep writing. Even if one third or only one tenth turns out well, it takes writing all of one hundred percent to get there, by showing up and keeping at it. When I aim for perfect, it seems to hold me back and limit my output. There is no short-cut to perfect. It is a journey.

I found that writing is also anticipating what wants to happen, and letting myself be an instrument. I look for the bigger picture of a universe that steers things positively. The stories of human fragility and suffering in the calamities in China and Myanmar also showed what extraordinary things people can do in solidarity to relieve suffering and make things better for their fellow humans. It made me realize that for every day that I am alive, I can decide to live positively and contribute to living better now, for myself and the people around me. In every situation I can ask myself how I can make it better.

Where does this start? To help others, I need to be driven by my own program, my potential, my goals. Strangely, I found that I cannot sacrifice my own goals that I have to live by. Love your neighbor as yourself, Jesus the Christ said 2,000 years ago, implying that self-love and appreciation must take precedence as the starting point.

I need to renew this every day, even several times during the day. It is about self-awareness. Practicing Neru cultivates non ego as I realize that the universe manifests itself in me like it does in all other people. Self-love without ego can be the hardest of all to practice, yet it is an ever-present force as I become more familiar with the ties that connect me to the universe. For as long as I do not get blinded by ego, that illusion that I could live as a separate entity disconnected from the others around me.

As I feel more of the force within, I can afford to speak less, and enjoy quietness and writing more.

Photograph: A powerful flower.

Neru no ego

2008-05-18T10:05:00.008+08:00

“Ego is something that covers your good personality”
- Shunryu Suzuki

According to Zen Master Suzuki in Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen, what we look for in art is personality without ego. “Everyone has character, but if you don’t train yourself, your character is covered by ego.” And that prevents people from seeing the artist’s true personality in the art.

It takes accumulated practice and training to let go of ego, and the Japanese word Neru describes this process well. Suzuki explains: “Neru is how we refine silk by washing it many times so that the threads are white and soft enough to weave.” Written in another character, Neru also describes how iron is beaten to temper it while it is hot, to make it strong. And a third meaning of Neru is to bake something in a fire.

Last week, a good friend named her new art gallery Neru, and I felt privileged to contribute a reflection on its meaning. And as I wrote it, that meaning also revealed itself in my own life experience, quite like Chi follows whatever my mind focuses on in my body.

Neru means bringing out the best potential in each person. I realized that with practice, it is possible to let go of the ego that covers my own true personality. And with good character revealed, creating and enjoying art can truly become a celebration of life for me.

As I ‘showed up’ again to write this post after an intense period of travel, work and personal growth, I realized that my life has an abundance of bubbles of actions. I need some spring cleaning, and I reflected that the coming mid-year in the month of June is a good time to do this.

Yet why wait for the future? So I took half an hour yesterday while waiting in Starbucks for my car to be washed (after 3 weeks, not a pretty sight for a white car), to write what to do more of, and what to reduce or cut out altogether. I used a mix of notes and mind mapping arrows.

The power of habit is one I wish to tap into more. I already adopted several new habits over the past years that allow me to live better. I want to add some more. Writing and speaking are two habits that are just around the corner, waiting to be adopted in my mainstream living.

Another one is delegation, which for me is about taking on the role of facilitator to set up partnerships rather than allowing tasks to end up in my in-box as the final destination.

As I go about making these changes, the co-existence of leadership and Neru is becoming clear. Good things in life don’t happen without exercising leadership and working hard to see creative ideas transformed into actions and results. Yet this can be done without ego. Full commitment to the task at hand doesn’t have to take the form of attachment.

More and more, I learn to act, dedicate, and let go. I am discovering Neru on a daily basis.

Photograph: Neru on the go, in this car sticker.

10 Past 5 AM

2008-04-09T22:24:00.010+08:00

Yes, to be passionate is key to better living. To give it everything I have inside me, every time, every moment. It starts with me showing up… the starting point for any artist.

In the French movie La Vie d’Artiste on the SQ flight home from Singapore, I watched how three lives intersected: a dubbing actress who longed to be seen rather than only heard, a teacher who would rather be a writer, and a young woman who tried everything to make it as a singer. All three shared one ultimate dream: to become an artist. How hard they worked on their craft, and how little success they had in the morose scenario of the screen writer! None of the three got what they dreamed of, as fate pushed them relentlessly to find satisfaction within the boundaries of their day-to-day existence.

What an annoying outcome, I thought. Isn’t there such a thing as overcoming gravity? Think of the enormous energy spent to lift a space shuttle from its launch pad. I have yet to see a shuttle that didn’t take off with so much energy invested. Isn’t it the same with an artist’s dream? The start seems the hardest in many ways. Progress comes with struggle, by keeping movement, and by warding off complacency. With a proper investment, there is no need for negativity.

Then there are the times when success comes into my life unannounced, as a welcome surprise. When Korean acupuncturist Dr. Park poked my armpit with a needle ten days ago, I could move my arm without pain for the first time in many days. He smiled, remarking “I just relaxed your muscle a bit.” I had paid him a visit on the advice of a close colleague, after suffering a shoulder injury which suddenly took a turn for the worse. The results of the treatment were instant and very gratifying. And it didn't take more energy than to drive there and lie still as the needles entered my energy meridians. What a lift off! If only my writing would come that easily. Anyway, I shelved my plan to have an MRI scan while visiting Singapore for work.

Meanwhile, my energy investment in getting up early has paid off. I have joined Steve Pavlina’s band of early risers and victors of the daily "battle of the bed" at 5 am. Witnessing the dawn, and spending quality time with myself at the start of the day has become a treat that I no longer want to miss. It is intensely satisfying to “show up” at dawn and rediscover my passion for life every morning. All it takes me is some energy and to adopt “not thinking” for 10 minutes, and then I can lift off into daily space.

And when I heard from a friend about someone who manages to get up every day at 3 am (and sleeps at 8:30 pm). ... Nah, that’s not for me. My passion starts at 10 past 5 am.

Photograph: Dawn in Singapore (much later than 5 am).

Not thinking

2008-03-23T10:36:00.008+08:00

“It is well to be up before daybreak, for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom.”
- Aristotle

Wherever you go, there you are is the title of a book I read with pleasure a decade or so ago. This morning it came to me anew that wherever I go, I meet myself. My mind is good at creating dreams, which is common for INFP types like me. But in the end, it is how I deal with each situation, how I live each moment, that counts. True value lies in me, rather than in the objects, feelings, and emotions I experience.

So how to tap more into me, and through myself, into the Universe? How do I conduct myself? This morning I felt sleepy. Perhaps I didn’t sleep enough? Or I should learn to manage myself better. After all, my trinity is spirit/soul, mind, and body. Life is good, but good life comes through management, taking charge, of being aware of the choices in each moment, and then acting accordingly. So when I feel challenged by being tired, I should "straighten my back" and tell my body to cooperate.

After some early successes, my determination to get up at 5 am has become a challenge. Allowing myself to return to slumber signalled the end of my good intentions. I simply cannot allow that to happen, but I have done it over and again. I need to get better in taking charge of my moment of waking up, to take the bull by the horns and not give in. It all comes back to awareness, in every moment. Like Eckart Tolle says, there is power in the now. Each time I read that book, I realize its truth.

Yet for a mere mortal like me, I think Steve Pavlina’s advice might also help me be successful in the early morning. Steve cautions the millions who read his blog against thinking anything at the moment of waking up. In stead, he says we should condition ourselves to step out of bed like a robot, without any thought or feeling. Like everything else, that needs practice, which he tells people to do in the daytime when they are in full command of their senses.

I am tempted by the notion of "not thinking" at that tender moment of waking up. So I will try Steve's approach tomorrow and see if by acting like a robot, I could turn my success of waking at 5 into a habit, and thereby reap the benefits that Aristotle referred to. After all, I am there, wherever I go. It is up to me to do, with or without my mind. The latter might work better.

Photograph: Morning in Ubud.

Village life

2008-03-12T14:55:00.006+08:00

As I got up at 5, my inner voice told me to go walk in the park, so I donned my sports outfit, jogged down 14 floors, and walked to the park, which is only 200 m away. It was still dark when I started brisk-walking the track, which is attractively laid out. And I realized that my village wakes up early, at least some of its citizens. Several early risers were already walking, stretching, jogging, some alone, and some couples enjoying togetherness, walking hand in hand.

It seemed like a daily routine, because a few cats who were observing the proceedings from the edge of the path did not move an inch when I walked by closely. I enjoyed my morning walk, and on returning to my apartment I decided to walk up the stairs in stead of taking the lift. On Saturday mornings, the park hosts a market, which I will make sure to visit next time.

Wassenaar, the village where I grew up does not have any high-rises like Salcedo, yet is not at all rural either. As a suburban abode of the Netherlands’ seat of government, it hosts lots of diplomatic residences and up-market though small shops, and I enjoyed many walks in its parks, and bicycle rides in the dunes close to the sea.

In contrast, the village of Celab Bu’ung where I am developing my Bali home is very rural, and lacks the amenities I have taken for granted in the towns where I have lived so far. Whatever comfort is needed, I will have to create in my own compound. And yet, it has abundant charms of a natural environment and beautiful people, and I look forward to explore and enjoy living there later on.

Yesterday, I listened to the mayor of one of Metro Manila’s cities explain how she turned it from a non-descript bedroom suburb into an award-winning liveable community for its 500,000 souls, featuring a river-front jogging park, broad sidewalks without vendors, a healthy public market, affordable low-income housing, wifi-enabled schools and public buildings, and more than 50 km of bicycle tracks with 30,000 users. It took the husband-and-wife mayoral team 15 years of vision and values, legislation, social marketing, and enforcement to achieve this, and she is brimming with more ideas.

Through these musings, I am discovering that village life is about living and connecting with the people around me, about making my place of residence into a home, and about contributing to the community that hosts me. All around me, there are people who want to make the world a better place, starting with life in their "village".

Photograph: Small offerings are part of daily community life in Bali.

Morning mix

2008-03-11T06:38:00.010+08:00

The light plays brightly around the skyscrapers. As I look around, the roofs of Salcedo village light up as they reflect the morning rays. All around me, people live in high-rises, yet I don’t see anyone on balconies savoring the morning light with me. The fact is, most apartments don’t have balconies and I feel privileged to enjoy sitting on mine, with two small palms and the wall tiles providing a green environment.

As the village comes alive, a fresh breeze greets me lightly. When I woke up at 5, the first sound I heard was birds chirping, which surprised me in such an urban environment. I can still here them now, mixed with cars that gently use their horns, as if hesitating to disturb the morning just yet. A school bus of the Manila International School rumbles down the street, and children are singing happy birthday in a classroom somewhere way below my 14th floor vista. Meanwhile, music from a Balinese ethnic jazz group wafts through the open doors of my apartment. And I suddenly realize that the miracle of life is repeating itself yet again. I feel reborn.

Last Friday marked the start of the Balinese new year, traditionally celebrated with a day of quiet, known as Nyepi. The coincidence only dawned on me in the evening, as I realized that my move to Makati’s Salcedo Village fell on the same day. A good time to celebrate, I reflected, as I entered my new life phase. I live by myself again, for the first time after 20 years.

Today, I will select photographs of my loved ones to display in my apartment. I love my new place, and I live forward.

Photograph: Salcedo morning.

Creating my Future

2008-02-27T09:48:00.010+08:00

“Have you found joy? Has your life brought joy to others?”

- Carter Chambers (Morgan Freeman) explaining to Edward Cole (Jack Nicholson) the questions asked of ancient Egyptians as they entered heaven, in The Bucket List

But why should I wait until the portals of an Egyptian heaven to answer these two questions? Four days ago I turned 51 and traveled to Bali to celebrate the day, like I did last year when I passed through the grand doorway of midlife. The future I am creating is now taking shape, and it is a perfect time for good questions.

Have I found joy in my life? My answer is a wholehearted yes. What comes to my mind is the movie Bienvenido a Casa, where actress Pilar Lopez de Ayala tells her boyfriend that she loves him for five minutes, and then another five, and so on. My love affair with life is growing in that way, as I learn to celebrate each moment, every five minutes, and every day.

Over the past few years, I have invested more and more in this love affair, and I enjoy the daily sense of thrill, joy and risk it brings into my life. I feel that Richard Carlson was right when he encouraged his male readers to nurture their passion for life with the intensity of having an affair. “The idea is to reignite your passion for living, and to see the extraordinary in the ordinary,” he wrote in Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Men.

Have others found joy because of me? This question enters into my thoughts more often these days. It feels as if I am entertaining a smiling visitor with a mission, like “God” (Morgan Freeman – again!) popping repeatedly into the life of Congressman Baxter in the movie Evan Almighty, to remind him of life’s purpose. I know I am on the right track, and the results will surely follow.

My life coaching is one way to help others enrich their lives. I have been making good progress with my course in the past weeks, which encourages me. I also noticed that when I live in the moment, in “the zone”, it sends a good signal to those around me. It must be generating a field of positive energy that affects others in a good way.

Normally I like to keep the subject of my blog post to myself while I am reflecting and writing it. Yesterday, however, I decided to ask a good friend about the second question, and her response startled me.

Joy is a choice, she said, going on to illustrate this with her own experience. She explained how a lot of people she met from all walks of life, would find joy in meeting her, and were able to express it readily. However, some others would look as if they were caught up in a self-spun web, that prevented them from expressing joy, regardless of the circumstances or the people they met.

I appreciated and learned from her point of view, as I realized anew that making a difference in someone else’s life requires giving, as well as a willingness from the other side to benefit joyfully from the relationship.

Recently, I met a professional coach from Australia who told me of his first job as a parole officer, when he was still in his early twenties. The lesson he shared with me was that only a few of the delinquent boys under his care would show interest and benefit from their interaction with him, while the majority did not, or at least not yet. This pattern, he said, continued all through his career as a coach. He learned to enjoy the process of discovering the people who were ready to benefit from his service.

Here in Bali, where I am spending a week to select an architect to design my Ubud home, it seems to me that most people are innately endowed with an ability to find joy in meeting people. They show it with happy faces, warm smiles, and friendly words. I have experienced it with shop keepers, bank staff, farmers, architects, home owners, passers by, and even the manager of the laundry shop. Their smiles reflect, and amplify mine.

I feel that I can tick two boxes on my own bucket list, and will check out the Egyptian heaven some day.

Photograph: Carter and Cole discussing the Egyptian questions, in The Bucket List.

Bubbles and trinities

2008-02-04T07:44:00.000+08:00

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”

- Peter Drucker

Although it is still early in the new year, the first month has already come and gone. In magazines and websites around the world, sharing advice on personal resolutions for 2008 has made way for encouragements on how to spend money during Valentines, which is closing in fast on those who allow themselves to be led by such advertising.

I don’t mind at all that I am running behind on this score. The question how to live my life better in 2008 still keeps me wondering, and in fact I reflect on it every morning and evening. And why not? I know that if I don’t pay attention, I might end up joining the throngs of people whose lives are decided more by others than by themselves.

Brian Tracy says that only 10% of people are proactive and “take their lives into their own hands and make things happen.” He urges people to step on the accelerator of their own personal journey of discovery.

Yesterday morning I read Steve Pavlina’s 10 Reasons You Should Never Get a Job. His enthusiasm and inquiry are infectious for me. They inspire me to keep finding ways to live life better.

Two weeks ago I threw out my old to-do list and replaced it with a new approach which is much more alive. I am blowing bubbles now, every morning. And in the evening I gaze at the results happily. I have learned to resist my habitual urge to write everything important (which adds up to an impossible number) and limit myself to jotting down, in long hand, what strikes me as most important for the day.

I have created bubbles for my current priority areas in life, all on one page. The tasks written are now part of areas of life I like to see prosper. Some are for my soul, one about music, another about writing practice, and growing money, and several for different aspects of my work.

Nothing much has come between me and my bubbles these past two weeks, especially in the early morning when I blow them. The rest of the day is for watching them grow and glow. My life has definitely become more successful and enjoyable as a result of this new practice.

Blowing bubbles also helps me to reconfirm that being positive is best. Even though my mind keeps churning out reasons for being negative and attention for what could go wrong this day, month, and year, I have decided that it is best to drop this thinking altogether. I have no wish to abuse myself or others.

Perfectionism is a form of self-abuse. As a friend pointed out, it blocks personal freedom. I was able to see it for what it was at Jim Paredes’ Tapping the Creative Universe workshop in 2003, and let it go.

As for criticism by others, I have no need to prove anything, as I am good and whole. I can clarify my track record if needed, and that's enough. I have limitless access to the resources of Dao. 2008 is a good time for upsizing, not criticizing. When criticized, I will turn that energy around and direct it to a positive purpose.

For sure, I could not manage to live my life in this way if I still followed my earlier evening pastimes of spending long hours watching TV or doing computer games (in my case flight simulation). I realized that it just consumed my time and stopped me from creating things myself.

I rarely watch TV at all nowadays, and just click on CNN’s website a few times a day to update myself on important news. I am happy for myself that I found more creative things to do than watching TV.

My life coaching study is on track again, and I got a good rating for the last assignment I sent in to my tutor. I discovered how to apply sets of 3 core messages to inspire people to change. I had to think of the holy trinity. What holy trinity? Well, any will do, as it seems that many leading spiritual traditions recognize a holy trinity at the core of their “beliefs”. Christianity, Buddhism, and Hinduism all pay respect to a trinity. I wouldn’t be surprised if there are more to be found.

Is this because people cannot remember more than 3 core messages? That is what I learned from public relations friends. Tell people more points and they are likely to forget all, they said. So distilling 3 fundamentals on which to base action is key.

On the other hand, when trying to help people answer the question of why to change, good reasons to adopt a new practice are often presented in numbers of 10, I noticed. Firing more arrows at the target seems to be the more effective strategy here, because people face different situations and hurdles for change. We simply don’t know in advance which arrow will hit the target.

After accepting a key message, and understanding the reasons to change, it is time to stimulate people to take action, and set targets for results. In this third area of focus, it seems that 5 is an effective number. Ask people more than 5 things to do, and it will likely be too much. Actually 5 is still a lot.

But 5 actions fit nicely into a bubble! It works for me...

Photograph: the pleasure of blowing sax, courtesy of my Nokia Music Xpress 5300.

Ode to a Fire Horse

2008-01-28T23:10:00.000+08:00

Born under the sign of the fire rooster, I warmly appreciate and empathize with other fiery inhabitants of the zodiac.

Here is a sample of what a collection of wise people have written about fire horses:

"Fire Horses are dynamic creatures, with a vigor that promises youth and freshness until the very end of life.

The will and the spirit of the Fire Horse cannot be broken. This Horse goes through life with philosophical patience and the ability to bounce back from adversity no matter how dire the circumstances.

In times of solitude, Fire Horses also have an insatiable need for intellectual stimulation and they satisfy their curiosity for learning through reading, listening, conversing, and travel abroad.

Fire Horses make inspiring leaders, revered and respected. They encourage their subordinates with kindness and just the right degree of strictness and work well with people in all stations of life.

Financial rewards fall in the middle ground, not too bad, not terrific, but always comfortable.

Being in love with the Fire Horse brings pure rapture. These noble Horses are generous with their love, with hugs and kisses.

Loved ones always know where they stand because Fire Horses demonstrate every day through their actions the love they feel deep within. Each day is a soft and tender love poem."

From: www.tuvy.com

"The Fire Horse is highly strung, powerful, inconsistent, alluring and motivated by strength of will."

From: www.paranormality.com

"Fire Horses are seen as outgoing, people-loving, ambitious, rebellious, and independent. They are supposedly freedom-loving and impossible to contain."

From: www.io.com

"When they fall in love, Horses seem to lose all logic, all sense of perspective. Unpredictable at the best of times, when they lose their hearts, there is simply no telling what the Horse-born will do next."

From: www.holymtn.com

I offer this ode as a salutation to the fire horse friend who will celebrate her birthday tomorrow.

Photograph: Fire horse

Blowing Bubbles in 2008

2008-01-07T23:09:00.000+08:00

After deciding yesterday that upsizing will be my motto this year, I started wondering how this could help me forward in delivering results in priority areas of my life. And I realized that if there is anything I both loved and hated last year, it was my to-do list.

Like the saying goes about women, that men can neither live with them nor without them, the same applies to me and my to-do list. I love to have a place to jot down what to do, and I do so enthusiastically all through my waking hours. What happens after the jotting down is another story altogether. Once a good idea has landed on my to-do list, it seems prone to certain death. I find it so hard to transform these written exhortations back to life, to the real-time action that I needed to be reminded of in the first place!

What is in my head is chaos and I like it that way, the sheer creativity of it. I never stop to be amazed how many good ideas I can catch and cook in a day, particularly in the early morning. How to combine all that left-brain creativity and liveliness with some right-brain common sense about prioritizing and delivering? How to capture the ideas but not kill them in the process, and nurture them to live forward in a more organized space where important and feasible ideas are filtered and prioritized? A few months I wrote Work is Art on top of my to-do list, but even that didn’t bring the actions to life as I wished it would.

Then it hit me, that what I was looking for might be something like the bubbles I blew when I was a child, those temporary, fragile, living, moving, beautiful and transparent globules that I loved to see grow and rise until they popped! And some never did, they simply floated out of my sight. Could it be that some of the priority initiatives of my to-do list and life plan did not grow as I had wished because I hadn’t blown enough love and life into them? Could I revive the boy in me to blow bubbles, to see them grow, and to achieve more of my dreams that way in 2008?

I took this bull by the horns, and set to work. I decided that my written life plan for the new year would not look like the one for last year after all, and neither would my to-do list. If I couldn’t live without it, and I knew I could not, at least I could transform it into something much more alive. Et voilá, after half an hour, I had filled a blank page in MS Word with a collection of bubbles of various shapes, colors, and sizes (I quickly encountered my limits of experience in using clip art to create more forms of bubbles). The title…. Blowing Bubbles in 2008!

Another half hour passed and I had empty bubbles for my current priority areas in life, all on one page. Some were central to my life, like “my times for spirit, soul, and body”, “my times with loved ones”, “my music practice” (Paulo Coelho’s The Witch of Portobello reminded me once again how important music is to tease more life out of me) and, of course, “my money.” Other bubbles were created for important priorities in my personal life, and in my work life. This morning, I started using this new approach, and captured ideas into these bubbles, to be loved and nurtured to action there.

And I was surprised by the obvious when I found out that a positive side effect of using bubbles was that they have limits to what they can accommodate. Where to-do lists just kept expanding, the boundaries of the bubbles on the paper kept me focused on writing a few priorities into each one. Too much would weigh them down too, I reflected. And rather than having to scan up and down a to-do list, I looked at my bubbles, and realized that unless I loved them enough to blow life into each of them, the actions written there might surely wither and die. And if any bubble was found to be leaking, I would need to blow harder!

For a moment, I wondered if labeling each bubble “my this” and “my that” wasn’t being overly ego-centric. And then I realized it had to be that way. My priorities were only going to be achieved if I cared about them enough, and blew enough life and energy into them, so that, like real-life bubbles, they could bring me pleasure and dissolve in their own good time. If I wouldn’t care enough, the bubbles would have no meaning at all.

What a nice discovery, that blowing bubbles had a lot to do with making my new year resolutions and giving them life to succeed.

Photograph: Place to enjoy bubbles: a bath tub in the Maya Ubud resort hotel, Bali.

Downsize or upsize?

2008-01-07T00:01:00.000+08:00

The new year is already in full swing, and I have been wondering what resolutions to make. Last year, I started on a life plan for 2007 and beyond. This came at the time of preparing for my rebirth at 50. I went through a process of working out my vision, mission, and values, capturing my dreams in words, determining main life goals, and mapping out results and actions for the year. I also wrote down what I should stop and avoid doing.

All in all, it was a thorough exercise involving my mind, soul, and spirit, and it helped me prioritize my life around three arenas: being true to myself, growing to my potential, and caring and sharing for others. I finished the life plan on April fool’s day, 9 months ago. And not surprisingly, what I wrote still looked fine to me when I reviewed it during the past week.

So what resolutions could I possibly make to add more value to my life? I pondered this question for many days, and today I found an answer that satisfied me. New year resolutions are, of course, about change, and about commitment to action that will achieve the desired results. That requires priority setting, and last year I learned that while I felt that I could do almost anything if I put my mind to it, most certainly I could not do everything I wished!

My list of actions for last year was already focused, yet still long, thereby reflecting my ambitious goals and big dreams. In fact, one of the questions I reflected on this past week was if I shouldn't downsize some of my life dreams and plans to fit better within my constraints, especially those of the obvious financial kind. The more I thought about it, the more sense it seemed to make. In particular, I questioned if I should really pursue large investments in a dream house project in Bali at a time when I am facing high costs in my present situation, with likely increases on the way.

In fact, I had already started writing resolutions with a view to downsizing into my PDA when, yesterday morning, I came across an inspiring video clip on You Tube that helped me see and choose the opposite direction. In the clip, John and Cynthia Hardy explained how they decided to move on with their lives after spending the last 15 years building up a successful jewelry business, starting in Bali and expanding to Bangkok, Hong Kong and New York. They said they had realized that the time had come to pass on the company to a trusted partner, and spend their time and creativity on a variety of projects for promoting sustainable development in Bali, including a nature-friendly school and other environmentally sustainable investments.

In the message, John and Cynthia said that they felt it was time to pay back for all that Bali had given them so generously over the years. What struck me was that in making their decision, they kept thinking big, which had apparently already become a habit for them. And although I could see that each of their projects would involve substantial investments, it seemed to me that they were not much concerned about constraints. Rather, they exuded a sense of abundance and excitement, and were clearly ready to take risks with some confidence that resources would be attracted to finance whatever it would take, over time.

After watching their clip, I opened my PDA and deleted downsizing from my list. I knew instinctively that I had been on the right path in dreaming to upsize my life in stead. More important than the actual resources at hand was the realization that I can live my life better for myself and others by embracing a sense of abundance and by dropping my all too human fears of scarcity and inadequate resources. In fact, my own lessons learned over the past years came back to tell me to keep expanding, to visualize living forward and realizing my life dreams for the benefit of myself and those around me. I realized that this lesson needs to be revisited every day, and that this New Year’s day and week have been a perfect time to recheck my compass and course.

Photograph: Switches to choose from in the gazebo of the newly completed Villa Agnes in Ubud, Bali.

Year of the Door

2007-12-31T18:09:00.000+08:00

Lots of things happened this past year. I just re-read some of what I wrote a year ago today, and have been reflecting on how I have grown. What made the year most memorable for me is that I turned a half century.

I will remember 2007 as my Year of the Door. For 83 days I prepared myself through a journey of daily reflection, and what a rich experience that was. I moved through my midlife passage like through a door, with great mindfulness, and was reborn at 50! As a Zen saying goes, "the mystery of life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced."

Yesteryear was good. Today is new. Next year will come tomorrow, and I find myself living forward. I am once again in Ubud, Bali this week, enjoying its rustic charm and the friendliness of its people. “It is truly a global village,” remarked Mark Ulyseas, the Indian local correspondent of the Bali Times, when we enjoyed live jazz last night at the local “As One” hangout. The place was filled with international and local residents from all over the world, and new contacts were made easily.

During a break, Mark and I walked over to the guest keyboard player who had jammed with the band, and I told him how I had appreciated his music. He turned out to be an American from Los Angeles, visiting Ubud for the umptieth time with his Dutch–Dominican girlfriend. There were many Japanese guests too, as the owner of As One is a Japanese painter, and his wife is a virtuoso soprano saxophonist who leads the band twice a week.

When I turned 50 earlier this year, I decided to buy a block of land here in Ubud and make it my home after some years. The process of registering the land is now almost complete, and over the past few days I have made arrangements to start construction of the access road. The previous owner has already used part of my money to build a new shop house, and his new property is now an easy landmark on the main village artery to find the turn-off into the private road that will lead to my Ubud home 50 meters inside.

I also contacted three local architects to visit the land and make proposals for developing my Ubud home project in a manner that blends into the natural environment of the surrounding forest and the terraces sloping down to the small river deep below. I actually climbed down to the river this time, and was rather painfully reminded of that journey for two days by aching thighs.

When I bid farewell to 2007 tonight, I will do so with a big smile, as I gratefully remember the palette of opportunities it offered me, many of which I was able to take action on.

I saw the door and appreciated all it stood for as I walked through it into the next phase of my life. I cannot think of a better accomplishment. It was the highlight of my year.

Photograph: Balinese door symbolizing my rebirth at 50 (top), and the location where the access road to my Ubud home will start (bottom).

Silence is golden

2007-12-15T18:29:00.000+08:00

“How about just facing up to the void? … Each of us contains something within us that is unknown, but which, when it surfaces, is capable of producing miracles.”

Paulo Coelho in The Witch of Portobello

The gingko leaves turned a blazing gold against the autumn sunlight, and masses of people, mostly in beautiful and trendy attire, thronged the streets on the way to their destinations.

The sights in this megapolis never fail to amaze me, with so many people on the move, constantly. I watch them with interest, and then they fade out of my sight, never to be seen again, like flowing river water that never stays in one place.

It reminds me that everything changes, that my mind creates illusions of permanence where there is none. When will I grasp this? I do so as I write, and a warming smile follows uncontrollably. There are no prisons, only my mind’s fixations, and life to be lived forward.

I visualize waves rolling through me, without end, ever beautiful in their revolving chaos. Like chocolate, only taking on form temporarily, for the purpose of being admired and consumed, and then to melt again, into energy, then into no-thingness. My luck knows no end, it simply is, and evolves.

This forbidding city of concrete cubes, straight steel, and reflecting glass amazes me by its people and creative energy. Any visitor can join the experience to float on the surface of its sea of life. Street signs are bilingual, so getting lost is hard, and going with the flow is easy when you adapt to it, with so much to see.

In One Continuous Mistake – Four Noble Truths for Writers, Gail Sher challenged her readers to “find a way to describe five different silences precisely”, and “within each of five clamorous settings filter out the silent core and articulate its nature.”

As I listened to customer chatter and the repeated exclamations by Starbucks baristas to their incoming and outgoing guests, it came as a shock that I could find silence in myself, indestructible it seemed, like soundless water flowing over a weathered rock.

And as I met my silence, I smiled, at no one in particular, feeling quite at home among my fellow citizens in a store so brightly decorated for Christmas.

Seeking out silence, I felt like I was facing up to the swirling void inside and around me, knowing that miracles are calling out to be born, like shining stars appearing in a dark December night.

Photo: Golden gingko tree (top) and Tokyo’s skyline surrounding the Imperial Palace (bottom).

Unfolding powers

2007-11-19T07:53:00.000+08:00

"The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers."

Erich Fromm

"Art is beauty plus pity."

Vladimir Nabokov

I have known for some time that wisdom grows when I entertain doubt, uncertainty and confusion. When I am filled with knowledge and certainty, there is simply no space left to gain new insights and see the dots in the universe around me connecting. Being uncertain opens me up to question, to search for meaning, as Erich Fromm said.

In a cyclical process, I find that I can move forward after I question, search, listen, and see dots connecting. And then it is time to start all over again. Yesterday’s wisdom is rarely adequate to start the new day. It’s an attitude of continuous questioning that helps me. Cultivating a beginner’s mind, said Shunryu Suzuki, the wise Zen teacher in San Francisco.

In another way, however, I find that uncertainty works the opposite for me. It blocks me from what I want to do. I end up feeling powerless when I cannot decide, and uncertainty makes it easier for me to procrastinate. When I end up with inaction, I feel trapped doing little where I should have done a lot.

In the past days, I have struggled to act on my intention to get up an hour earlier, just before the crack of dawn. It is proving to be a great challenge. There is something that has blocked me so far, and with each sounding of the alarm, I end up snoozing it again in my uncertainty about getting up. This puzzles me, and I have yet to see my powers unfolding to deal with this straightforward challenge. I have already reflected that I need to be fired up with passion to adopt the new habit.

For me, passion means that I don’t want to miss out on something I treasure. In the past I felt passionate about playing golf and I did not mind getting up early for that. Nowadays I count myself lucky to be passionate for my work, and I have no trouble getting up early to get to the airport in time for an early flight. And of course passion for my significant other could also make me do new and unusual things.

It dawns on me that my solution lies in being aware and making choices. My grand intentions will get realized step by step. Like art holds beauty and pity, each of my moments holds a promise of both action and inaction, which live side by side. I can find inspiration in the words of other life travelers, and emulate their steps, as I need all the inspiration I can find.

The big picture around me is always changing, like clouds in the sky. Every day needs a new start, as I untangle the challenges of uncertainty and my snoozing alarm.

Photograph: Untangling a web, at Métissages, A Crossbreeding of Contemporary Art and Textiles, exhibition in the National Museum, Jakarta.

Sprinkling stardust

2007-11-17T09:38:00.000+08:00

When Victoria opened the cloth placed in her hand there was only dust, not the star she had asked her boyfriend to bring her as proof of his love.

To find the star, Tristan had passed through the opening in the village wall into the unseen world where extraordinary magic was the staple food of everyday life.

When he came back to his girlfriend to set her free of their earlier vow, he was a changed man. He had fallen in love with a true star.

The movie kept my daughter’s eyes glued to the screen while she munched her popcorn quietly.

Crossing the walls between us and magic is easy to do for children, and for the boy in me, if only I allow myself to explore that realm on a daily basis.

The stories I bring back seem like dust, but through my own tranformation, I can sprinkle magical stardust whenever I like.

Photograph: From tears to art, at Métissages, A Crossbreeding of Contemporary Art and Textiles, exhibition in the National Museum, Jakarta.

Not what it seems

2007-11-17T08:54:00.000+08:00

I liked the apartment, which had been renovated with cool furnishings that created a zen-like atmosphere. The broker said she knew the owner … and later I heard from another broker that it was her own apartment.

I was also shown several other attractive places … and it turned out that they had been taken already.

The soy cappuccino was frothy and smooth to the taste. The Starbucks barista had smiled like there was no tomorrow… and I had to repeat my order three times … and I received way too much change … and my friend was served a drink he hadn’t ordered.

Reality is different for each one of us, and everyone interprets it in their own way. And besides, the more I think I know reality, I realize that I don’t.

On that day that everything turned out differently, I felt as if I could see the world around me with new eyes … and that was probably an illusion too. But I felt lucky anyway.

Photograph: Unusual blouse at Métissages, A Crossbreeding of Contemporary Art and Textiles, exhibition in the National Museum, Jakarta.

Half step forward, a civilized stride

2007-11-12T00:04:00.000+08:00

It was still early morning when I entered the restroom in the brand new airport of Jinan in China’s Shandong Province. I had arrived at 6 am to catch the 8 am flight to Hong Kong and found the airport still closed. For the first time in my life I saw an airport’s morning ritual of staff and travelers arriving and counters opening.

By 7 am I was through check-in and immigration, and found a coffee shop where I enjoyed a cup of “Minded Coffee”. It helped me with waking up. And then, when I visited the restroom before boarding, I saw another example of unusual English usage that broadened my horizon. "To preceding half step A civilized stride". The meaning was clear enough, even if the English was not. A half step forward goes a long way in maintaining cleanliness in that public place, so it is a step forward for civilization.

And as I did what was requested, it occurred to me that taking a half step forward can make a difference in other situations too. For me, it is often challenging to take that first small step to get me going in my journey to improve “civilization” in myself and my surroundings. The same challenge, time after time.

Photographs: Coffee (top) and restroom request (bottom) at Jinan international airport, Shandong Province, China.

On my nose

2007-09-30T23:19:00.000+08:00

“Zen is like looking for the spectacles that are sitting on your nose.”
D. T. Suzuki

I remained silent as I listened to Ubud’s awakening. Purring motorcycles made their way through another splendid morning. Villas stood unmoving amidst the green. Birds sang to each other. Pink frangipani welcomed the morning freshness. The sun spread its rays for all. I remained quiet, savoring it all.

During my five days in Bali, one of the places I visited was Goa Gajah, a centuries old cave where the first kings of Bali came to meditate in alcoves hewn from the rock face. I found it full of positive energy, surrounded by ancient trees and a water temple where the spouts do not run dry. Ruins of a Buddhist vihara destroyed in an earthquake in 1917 strewn in a river bed. The community was finalizing preparations for the annual visit by the gods during the temple’s Odalan festival.

A guide shared the history of the temple, and his personal history. A devout Hindu, he saw himself as the reincarnation of a temple abbot in the Java’s Majapahit era. For twelve years, he said, he allowed himself to be accompanied by a guardian from the “other world” with powers to make his wishes come true. In 2005, he broke the connection as he realized that he could move forward without such help. When he doesn’t guide visitors, he works as cook in the temple kitchen.

I found Bali full of contradictions and surprises. After days of enjoying the rustic rural charm of Ubud’s environs, spending a night in the rapidly expanding urban centers close to the airport seemed chaotic. Yet I also saw that temple festivals remain prominent in both rural areas and in the city. And I was told that Balinese people might spend as much as half of their income on temple festivals that are organized by their community. When dining in La Lucciola restaurant in trendy Seminyak (the Yak), I saw lots of devotees at the Odalan festival of the temple next door, praying on the beach.

Back at home, I marveled at life’s lessons from all around me. Open doors and windows bring a variety of smells of life, some pleasant, some not. Yet they all remind me how extraordinary life is. I think I found the glasses that Suzuki sensei was referring to.

Photographs: Temple guide (top) and meditation cave (middle) at Goa Gajah, and Odalan procession (bottom) in Ubud, Bali.

Forgot to laugh

2007-09-15T20:44:00.000+08:00

They slipped out of my life.

Walking back with a friend from lunch break yesterday, I wondered out loud why I haven’t laughed much in the past months. As I thought about it, I smiled, and my smile turned into a laugh easily. My lunch mate laughed too. What happened to the activities that made me happy before?

Playing music and writing help me to feel good and relax. Sharing time with good friends does too. I should make them a part of my life again, schedule them to make sure they happen. Knowing what makes me happy is not enough, it’s the doing that matters. Do it!

But do I really need do to something to be happy? I can slip into happiness without reason, from the inside out, from knowing that I am walking my personal journey, that everything is going to work out, and that I am surrounded by positive energy I can tap. Sounds good, but do it!

Do I need to go back to activities that made me happy earlier, or try new things? That does not seem important. I don’t feel bored with nice activities that I like up till now. And I know that I can always explore new things. But it’s fine to return to activities I like, and make them a regular part of my life. Do it!

Or do I need to buy new things to be happy? Well, I have been wondering about buying an iPod recently, especially after Apple sliced the prices in half. The new models look great, and even the old ones. I like the idea of carrying a wide range of music to suit my moods, in a “form” that fits any of my pockets, but with enough memory to forget it has a limit.

Anyway, I am happy as I am and with what I have. More possessions won’t make a difference. Except, I admit, I keep buying books, and they keep enriching my life. I enjoy browsing, buying, reading, and digesting books. Keep doing it!

So on the whole, about laughter and happiness, it’s remembering to do it that matters most for me. I’ll be it, do it, and schedule it if a week passes by without it.

As for today, I decided to join band practice and enjoy playing sax and listening to the others.

Photograph: HAPPY CHAOS BE MY GOVERNMENT - pavement art at Federation Square, Melbourne.

Temporary art

2007-09-12T23:07:00.000+08:00

It was marvelous, the way she was engrossed in her art. Right there on the pavement, on the river bank, as residents and tourists walked by. Some even walked over the works made by fellow artists on the same path.

A place full of creative expression and impression, that’s what I thought. I’m talking about the South bank along Melbourne’s Yarra river. You meet sidewalk artists, and throngs of people visiting Victoria’s National Gallery, where the Guggenheim collection of modern are is on display. And just across the bridge, Federation Square features continuous gatherings of artists, musicians, and their audience.

People come to see, and be seen, for art, dining, drinking, shopping, and sports, which are all located along the river banks in this vibrant city. Not long ago, though, decrepit dockland buildings stood here, and the river was a polluted sewer, like most rivers still are in Asia. Until Melbourne’s residents started to embrace their river, and the river banks turned into prime property. What a nice thing to make happen.

I saw the same development in Brisbane, where citizens tore out the old docklands and replaced them with public facilities like galleries, convention center, state library, lots of eateries, and pathways for skaters, lovers, and just about anybody. Citizens now refer to the river as the city’s life blood.

In Melbourne, I cruised the Yarra river, visited its vineyards, including Yering Station, Victoria’s first, and drank plenty of nice white and red wines. After stretching my mind watching Guggenheim’s art collection, I lay down on a carpeted section of the museum to admire the stained glass windows in the ceiling. And an hour later I lay down on the grassy banks of the Yarra river under a gum tree (one of the hundreds of species of Eucalyptus), looking upward in space.

All this I did in the company of good friends, who treated me like only good friends will, and expanded my understanding of friendship in the process. With a friend, it’s so inspiring and easy to make nice things happen. And when you part ways, you know the coming together was good. Like an artwork on the pavement, an offering was made with trust into the future. It may seem temporary, but it lasts in the eye of the beholder.

Photograph: Art on the pavement (top), and Melbourne by the Yarra River (bottom).

Mind your references

2007-08-30T22:03:00.000+08:00

I read Robin Sharma this morning about the importance of having positive reference points. “Doors you never knew existed will begin to open,” he wrote. On the other hand, he continued “Often, we have weak reference points so we see the limitations of a scenario rather than the opportunities.”

So true, I thought. Right now, I need a positive male reference point who looks slim and athletic. I have been gaining weight over the past weeks, and it’s high time to shed some and return to the shape I feel happy in. Fortunately I know how to do that, and I’ve done it before. I can manage my weight, not by eating less, but by selecting what I eat. Eat yourself slim, à la Michel Montignac. So actually, I could be my own reference point this time around.

Although I have been posting less frequently on this blog, and feeling the poorer for it, I have continued my soul journey and learned a lot. And while I think it should not matter so much where I am, I found that it actually does. Traveling influences my inner journey. Just after returning from holiday with my kids in Holland and England, I flew back to Europe, to Stockholm this time, and stayed there for a week.

The center of Stockholm in summer is a great place for walking, and I did plenty of it, alone and more often with friends. Evenings spent walking in the old city and looking for a place to eat were especially memorable. There were times I wished I had brought my sax to play in the street, with a hat on the floor.

A few days after returning to Manila my next destination brought me forward to Singapore and Jakarta. During this trip, I thought a lot about my work as a passion. I love to see the bigger picture in the work I do, and I discovered that this is my calling. I also mused about “quality” and enjoyed reading how Robert Pirsig discovered its central importance in our lives when he wrote his classic Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

A friendly Indian professor remarked to me in Singapore that he realized the meaning of “quality” when a variety of smells filled his hotel room after he turned off the aircon which was too cold for him. Quality is about the care given to make things work well. Quality is made behind the scenes, in heart and mind. When it becomes a shared value among people working together, it will show up in the product or service they deliver. If we pay attention, we can observe the importance of quality as Robert Pirsig did, and it gives us new positive reference points to live by.

Sharma mentioned Lance Armstrong, his father and mother, Richard Branson, Madonna and Peter Drucker as some of his positive reference points, and most of all Mick Jagger who still captivates audiences by strutting on stage in live concerts at the mature age of 62. Other people might feel the end of their life approaching at that age. As Sharma said, it all comes down to choosing our reference points.

Photograph: New houses in Jakarta – is walled security or Polly Pocket design their reference point?

Believe the impossible

2007-08-05T22:12:00.000+08:00

When Alice said in Wonderland that there is no use in trying to believe impossible things, the Queen responded “I daresay you haven’t had much practice. When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

Self-help bookshelves are full of titles about making dreams come true, and we spend much of our time trying to believe incredible things. In reflection of that, a cartoon movie The Incredibles became a box office hit not long ago. We believe in the fiction, romance, and anime stories we watch and read, and sometimes we get inspired by them. Yet like Alice it is all too easy to shrink back from believing in impossible things taking place in our own lives.

Rhonda Byrne and her friends explain in The Secret that it is not enough to think about what we want in our lives. For the law of attraction to work in our advantage, we need to believe in our dreams, to visualize them, and to feel them. That is more than reading a book or watching a movie, but these can inspire us to make a start and see the dots in our life connecting.

I love to take books with me when I travel, and some of them invariably are about self-enrichment. I get inspired by reading books ― well, some of them ― and it works much faster than seeing a 90 minute film. Just a few pages will do. Books are a source of inspiration to me everyday and wherever I go, and I don’t mind carrying the extra kilos in my bag.

Taking a two-week break in Holland and England helped me to simplify my life and learn to enjoy every moment more. I saw nature’s art in the bark of an oak tree in front of my primary school, enjoyed walking my friend’s South African dog Whiskey in a chilly dark night, raced with dizzying speed through London in a double-decker bus on the way to the theatre, shared my daughter’s thrill to feed a sharp-beaked emu from her open hand, danced to the beat of the Blue Man Group, and marveled at the sight of an English couple taking their new-born baby to the pub.

And, of course, I bought more books, including The Discovery of Heaven by Harry Mulisch, his best work according to the critics. I look forward to reading it.

I also received life lessons about friendship, going the extra mile, and about someone’s daily struggle with a fading determination to live when blessed old age seems to come with ever more weakness and fatigue. The time comes when we have to allow the souls of our elders to pass on, with our warmest wishes, and with an assurance that they and we “will be fine.” And yet, every day may bring unforeseen blessings, and who knows when our time of passing will arrive? I was reminded of Jim Paredes’ counsel to live every day as if it were our last.

Life is truly miraculous when we awake to believe the impossible, before or after breakfast!

Photograph: Feeding an Emu.

Sideways

2007-07-29T13:52:00.000+08:00

Think sideways!
Edward de Bono

The past weeks saw me visiting Kuala Lumpur, Singapore, and Jakarta. I got to know people better in these three cities, and learned about their cultures and ways of getting things done. Malaysian friends explained me their love for bright colors and appreciation for form and decorum. Singaporean friends showed me how they achieve results through commitment and good relationships. And Indonesian friends demonstrated how each person’s view is taken into account, with care to find solutions together. I enjoyed being immersed in this kaleidoscope of cultures.

I also clocked lots of mileage on my soul journey and wrote page after page on the inner wall of my awareness. Meanwhile, my blog space remained quietly untouched. The direction of my musings was sideways and across my life. And I found that the way forward became clearer as a result.

Sending an SMS to the “wrong” person made me wonder if there is such a thing as a wrong address. We are all connected. Everything I write should be readable to all. And it often is, through myself or others. Every email and SMS is a packet of energy, easily shared with others. Sending positive energy helps us all. As for other energies, there is no need to send it anywhere.

Knowing how this works is to understand life’s biggest secret, which has been revealed in bookshops and television shows across the globe thanks to Rhonda Byrne and her team of empowerment gurus. The big Secret is the law of attraction. You invite into your life what you think and feel.

One of the books I read in the past weeks was Why Men Don’t Have A Clue & Women Always Need More Shoes by Allan and Barbara Pease. Appreciating the differences between women and men is fundamental to communicating and living well. I always try to keep the different perspectives in mind. So what did I learn from this book?

Nagging is a big problem for some, but not for me. I found that partners who are positively engaged in what they love to do have better things to do than nagging.

Women’s Top Secret Point-Scoring System – interesting and useful. Women score each activity separately, and give high scores to little attentions. Well, I knew that, but what is interesting to know is that women give men the same score for most activities (a “1”) regardless of how much work was involved.

I felt sad reading the chapter on retirement. Many men seem to get lost at that phase of their life. It is essential to plan for retirement early, so that “work” continues in a different form, and with it, the “recognition” that is so important to men. Living separately together is a formula for success for many, as many retired people find it hard to live together with their partner 24 x 7, and this is particularly true for women.

Yesterday I read Robin Sharma quoting Oliver Wendell Holmes “A mind once stretched by a new idea can never return to its original dimensions”. How true. Many ideas come to me through books. They are faithful companions on my journey. And they often take me sideways to a new point of view.

Photograph: Sideways in Beauty in Asia at Singapore's Asian Civilizations Museum.

Remember to dance

2007-06-25T22:12:00.000+08:00

I met someone on my journey
sitting by the wayside
watching the pilgrims go by
Now he is writing again

Magnificent, that’s what I thought of yesterday’s performance of Coppelia and other dances by the students of Manila’s Claravall Institute of Dance. Their display of skill and costumes was dazzling. The lighting was a feast for the eyes too.

A man sitting behind me grumbled about the three-hour sit, and I wondered if he would prefer watching a long movie in stead, like Pirates of the Caribbean 3. For me, I would prefer the dance anytime. Watching people perform on stage is alive and magical.

Meanwhile, change keeps happening in my life, and I keep responding. When I lead a change, it is a profound experience. I pick myself up from the wayside. I reaffirm my will to live and write rather than to follow other people's whims and my own short-lived feelings. I prioritize what actions I will do. I allow myself to shine.

In the past weeks I traveled half the world and back. I lived forward and inspired myself and others. Yet my pen remained dry, as if to signal the need for change from within, from my private wellspring. Don’t rely on anyone, don’t consume from others, said my muse. Draw authenticity from within. And I remembered what I wrote with 51 days to go about my first arena:

“It is about being true to myself, to live in the now, from inside out, about laughing a lot, like a Zorba the Buddha who appreciates both the spiritual and the mundane planes and lives fully in both. It is about the ability to be happy in any moment, without dependence on others or any particular reason. It goes to the root of knowing my purpose for being in this life, and being happy about it. Maintaining good health and energy are part of experiencing success in this arena.”

“I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom”, Simone de Beauvoir wrote long ago.

“The freedom to dance and to change”, I thought.

Photographs: After dancing, the flowers (top). A change to look forward to (below).

Fit your feet

2007-06-04T00:28:00.000+08:00

“It is up to you to choose the appropriate mandala for the way in which you want to develop… just like you choose shoes that fit your feet!” – Lama Yeshe

I return to the joys and agonies of writing.

My week was filled with communicating with others. I led a three-day workshop, and I spent most of the days and evenings writing an article in time for tomorrow’s deadline of submission. I had so little time left for other tasks that I wrote a monthly column from 11 pm to 2 am to deliver on my promise.

And, strangely, I still feel as if I have not written enough. I want to write more. Yesterday I read the Tigers in the Lowland chapter of Gail Sher’s One Continuous Mistake – Four Noble Truths for Writers. As always, her message didn’t fail to inspire me.

“Part of doing anything is creating an environment that supports it”, says Gail Sher. Aspiring writers are not exempted. She encourages writers to examine their environment. “As you hold writing at the forefront of your consciousness, your life increasingly will provide a context for that activity, not only containing but promoting and inspiring it.”

Every time I thought of my approaching deadline, I also thought of the opportunity to enjoy writing more. And I reminded myself of my choice to make it one of my life goals to become an accomplished writer.

Nothing else to do then but writing, with a glass of red wine in hand and humor in mind.

Photograph: Beauty in Asia, Asian Civilizations Museum, Singapore.

Cold pizza

2007-05-28T00:19:00.000+08:00

I noticed the bright green T shirt in my peripheral vision, and I suddenly realized that he had been waiting patiently for me to finish. Music was reviving me as I stood listening to some discounted CDs in the music shop, with the earphones giving some relief against the driving bass coming from the PA system. While I waited for my youngest daughter to finish watching Pirates of the Caribbean 3, the unadulterated rock on The Cream of Eric Clapton made me forget everything, and then Lisa Loeb’s Stay made leaving difficult.

Music also revived me yesterday and made me forget the last week filled with hard work. I accompanied my oldest daughter in practicing with Teacher Perpy for the annual vocalist recital next month. My daughter did well, and we also practiced my contribution on sax. Last year I played tenor and alto, and this year I also get to play soprano sax to accompany some of the young vocalists. Perpy’s husband Peter, an accomplished vocalist in musicals and hymns, joined our practice yesterday and helped to tweak our delivery.

After going through Con Te Partiro (Time To Say Goodbye), When You Believe from The Prince of Egypt, Vincent’s Starry Starry Night, and Where Is Love from the musical Oliver, we found that we still couldn’t stop and ended up singing two of the other recital numbers just for fun, The Prayer and Ave Maria. These inspirational songs will touch my heart any time, and when I sing along I feel myself connecting to unnamed powers of the Universe, regardless of what religion is expressed in the lyrics.

Afterwards, loud thunder and heavy rain accompanied us as we ate a vegetarian pizza that had lost its warmth while we were under the spell of music.

As I made way for the music lover behind me and walked out of the shop with three albums for the price of one, Eric Clapton’s line came back to me, I can’t stand it, the fooling around with my heart.

I need music!

Photograph: Tazo green tea in my favorite mug.

Continuous learning

2007-05-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

Everyone needs a coach, according to the life coaching motto.

That includes coaches, so I decided to take one too and selected Fiona Harrold, England’s best. I signed up with her and I am now guided by her book Be Your Own Life Coach. 30 minutes per day, I can do that.

Reading testimonials of people whose lives changed dramatically with Fiona's help took me by surprise. And a large mug of Tazo green tea made the exercises even more enjoyable.

Continuous learning is popular nowadays, and it was recently identified by the New York Times as the prime cause of living longer. My past week felt like a kaleidoscope of continuous learning. I studied about networking and collaboration. I learned a great deal from my kids.

I discovered new lessons in leadership, and in pain. I found out that Yellow Tail wine from Australia tastes… just to my liking. From friendship and quiz games, my knowledge of celebrities expanded. I rediscovered the magic of swimming underwater in the early morning.

I saw a friend taking steps to move forward in life to realize unfulfilled dreams, while another friend received a sought-after assignment from the highest authority in the land.

I felt the pressure of writing a column with a deadline, and realized the benefit of getting good last-minute advice. I read about a new type of position, a chief relationships officer.

I was stimulated by being surrounded by friends working on projects and writing papers at the same time, while a good friend was enjoying a break with cycling in France. I was inspired by colleagues in several talks about their projects.

I pondered more on leadership, what it is, and what it isn’t. I asked and received a change of tutor in my life coaching course. I helped my older daughter select a dress for a friend’s birthday party and walked with her in a mall while she was reading a book on Anne Boleyn’s sister.

I coached my younger daughter about reading her lines on life in ancient Sparta. I found out that I have longer breath in the afternoon when swimming the length of the pool under water.

What does this all add up to? No story, just my life.

Photograph: Variety in life – my daughter’s collection of guitar picks.

Morning laugh

2007-05-14T07:20:00.000+08:00

Time spent laughing is time spent with the Gods
Japanese proverb

The morning is so fresh
it is perfect

I am reminded
how perfect the present moment is

There is no heaviness, guilt, or expectation
just opportunity

When I stop seeking my identity
in a world of forms
the essence of life comes
in a flash, totally pure

Nothing to do
it is just there

to enjoy
And I can only smile -
that is perfect too

Now I know
that laughing makes me

remember to smile

Life is whole, here and now
It takes silence to see this
to enter the moment -
light hearted, calm, magical

I keep writing
The mistake continues, to miss out
on the reason for existence -
suffering, sin, to miss the target
I am there
it is here

Words cannot describe, yet I write
Laughter reminds me
how wrong I am
Life is right here and now

Nothing to gain, nothing to loose
Yet everything is here
I straighten my spine
and Chi flows
Nothing is better

A sun ray touches my face as I write
and the foot of my young daughter
still asleep
Wholeness is here
I see it

A morning meditation
with eyes open and closed
in silence

I prefer the moment
over editing my lines
Touching the universe
over my To Do list

I hope no one dies
on this Philippine election day

Photograph: Morning rays

The Secret

2007-05-06T20:01:00.000+08:00

Liberation is not deliverance.

Victor Hugo

Yesterday on the 5th of May my country celebrated the liberation from five years of occupation and oppression by Nazi Germany, now 62 years ago. In May 1945 American and Canadian tanks rolled into Dutch cities to a rousing welcome by people who had survived the winter eating little more than flower bulbs.

After the liberation, the wounds of war took a long time to heal. In a recent opinion poll, one in two people in Holland said that the two countries should work together more closely in the European Union. However, a large majority said they would now welcome Germans to join the national memorial day on May 4th. As Victor Hugo implied, the journey from liberation to deliverance can take some time.

Meanwhile, violence and oppression continue unabated in today’s world. Only a few days ago, soldiers in Iraq discovered a girls school under construction which had been booby trapped to cause carnage with an intent that was considered inconceivable until now. No day passes in that country without reports of further bombings that violently tear apart the fabric of society.

Across the Atlantic in the US, tales of carnage in schools also continue, yet the thirst for violence remains unquenched. The latest Hollywood product for family entertainment, Spiderman 3, is rated by the Motion Picture Association of America as PG 13 for its “sequences of intense action violence”. In the Philippines, the Movie and Television Classification Board rated the movie GP (for general patronage) without age limit, and when I watched it yesterday, even babies were admitted.

A reader from Africa blamed the editor of Newsweek this week for a negative article on Ban Ki-moon’s prospects as Secretary-General of the UN, saying that “you and George Bush are made from the same material: you find it easier to destroy than to build up.”

Watching Hollywood movies like Spiderman 3, destruction looks easy and spectacular, and the aftermath is made to look inconsequential to the stars shown to occupy the moral high ground.

Now switch your mind to another wavelength...

Simultaneous to what seems to be an unrelenting momentum for destruction, the world is also being touched by waves of positive energy at a scale never seen before.

Gurus and coaches, many of them American or resident in the US, abound with positive messages. The self-help or self-enrichment shelves of bookstores around the world are filled like never before.

Spirituality is making a “comeback” on a grand scale and in all colors of the rainbow. The blogosphere and other new avenues of communication are making a big contribution to this global “new age” movement.

The past weeks have witnessed a spectacular upsurge in global awareness of the need to counter the environmental destruction and climate change that are affecting the planet.

The remarkable news was about the growing consensus for action to be taken. Scientists and government officials have suddenly found more common ground for moving forward with action, and mindsets have changed in ways and on a scale that politicians can no longer afford to ignore.

In Spiderman 3, Peter Parker concludes that in the battle of good and bad, we always have a choice. Adversity can be overcome.

And two and a half thousand years ago, the Buddha told mankind to “be a lamp unto yourself” and he encouraged his followers to “work out your liberation with diligence.”

In the past few days, my daughter discovered the law of attraction from reading Rhonda Byrne’s book The Secret.

It’s about the power of positive thinking. According to Wikipedia, this law states that “you get what you think about; your thoughts determine your destiny”. That can work both ways.

That violence begets more violence seems clear. And in the dualistic nature of our world, violence seems to cling to liberation like a shadow. Even so, the world’s gurus and coaches keep reminding us that we can experience liberation when we release ourselves from aggression and fear inside.

In our daily struggle between good and bad, the choice to experience deliverance is ours, at a deeply personal level. Ask Peter Parker and the Dutch – they seem to have found some practical answers. Or read The Secret and focus on positive thinking.

Photograph: Flowering from the mud – one of the most widely circulated photographs in the world (Water Lilies, from Microsoft’s sample pictures)

As is Where is

2007-04-29T09:47:00.000+08:00

"Only those who have awakened know that they were sleeping."

From: As is Where is - by Jim Paredes.

When the silence is golden, it is just silence. There is no obligation, no pressure to do something or to have something.

People who realize this will seek silence for its authenticity. They know that silence is the source of enlightened consciousness for everyone.

“This is the silence that is open and free”, says Jim Paredes in his new book As is Where is. “This is the truth of simply being, the silence that has no requirements.”

It is his third book, after Humming in My Universe, Between Blinks, and Writing on Water. Jim discovered silence through years of living consciously in the way of Zen, and has released his creative genius in ways that inspire many people to follow a similar path.

When I joined Jim’s creativity class more than three years ago, he asked us to release ourselves from media influence for two weeks (radio, tv, music, books). The result was immediate for all who complied with his request, as our creativity blossomed.

Jim writes about always being ready to experience life as it is. “The way to the unknown is the unknown”, he says, advising us to “throw away your old map. Only a new road will get you to a new destination.”

If there is anything constant in our lives, it is change. Yet we tend to believe that our spiritual journey is based on constant truths. Until we discover that our appreciation of truth also evolves as we grow in our experience. For one, we realize that we attract what we need to grow, including unexpected encounters with life’s paradoxes.

In the introduction to his new book, Jim writes about noticing a different feel to the topography of his own spiritual journey. Leaving the green and lush behind, he encounters “dried patches of a new, arid landscape”. He shares how it spurred his sense of being challenged to “explore new territories where God is hard to find, or is unlikely to be, but is in fact present.”

Jim keeps challenging us to live forward and let go of things that supported us yesterday. “It’s as if we are flipping a switch”, he says, “from sleep to full awakening.” Seeking out silence is an essential part of that daily journey.

As I write this, I feel encouraged to be awake. In fact, this Sunday morning feels to me like no other. Peace is here as I allow myself to enter its realm of silence. I feel better connected. Thank you, Jim!

Photographs: Jim Paredes' latest book, and the author.

After a pause...

2007-04-25T22:43:00.000+08:00

My blogging hit a pause...

Life kisses our faces
every morning. Yet,
between morning and evening,
she laughs at our sorrows.

From: Love Letters in the Sand – by Khalil Gibran

Just like a year ago when I started blogging, a visit to Singapore’s art world gave me unforgettable pleasure. I visited the National Museum and the Asian Civilisations Museum this time, and I was mesmerized by their content, presentation, and housing. So uplifting to spend a day drifting through the galleries.

This evening a friend of many years observed that for as long as she knows me I have been interested in culture and art. While our kids practised guitar with their teacher, we enjoyed a life conversation over cappuccino served in cups from Ubud. And we agreed that life transitions should be taken as fun, not too serious.

My good friend whom I think of as Mr. I Can Do asked me to have our first life coaching session this week. What a nice challenge! And I just received my home study course for a diploma in life coaching this week. Now I realize how changes can knock on your door. I am learning to listen, and hear the knocks. I know where I want to go.

Tomorrow I will take a loan to pay for the block of land in Ubud, Bali. It is another big step on my life journey. And another case of change knocking on my door. I decided to open. After giving careful consideration to the financial matters, I am living forward.

And my daughter will read Khalil Gibran in her class.

Photograph: Beauty in Asia – the Asian Civilisations Museum on the Singapore River.

Milestone

2007-04-16T00:26:00.000+08:00

As a lingering cough from an earlier cold turned into a full-blown throat infection last week, I had the pleasure of visiting an SOS medical clinic for the first time while traveling. I don’t like taking antibiotics, but there was no escape this time. Three days later, after many days of operating at 60% of my usual strength, the medication I received in Jakarta started showing results. During this time, I realized that days of sickness are a challenge to pratice the “better living habits” that I have adopted over the past years.

I woked up in Bali today, and the morning lived up to the reputation of this paradise isle. Apart from the fact that my cough had abated a bit compared to the previous days, the freshness of the morning and the scenery surrounding the small hotel in Ubud were stunning. Even after only one night there, I felt refreshed in body and spirit.

Yesterday was a milestone for me as I signed a letter of intent to acquire a piece of land about 20 minutes north of Ubud, with a view to settling there after retirement. The secluded block of land includes some ancient rice terraces at the top of a hill and slopes down into a valley with a small river. My real estate agent is still negotiating for me to lease a part of the neighbor’s rice terraces as well, to use as a garden. In Bali, leasing land is common.

I also used the opportunity of my overnight weekend visit to Bali to buy several attractive books on traditional and contemporary Balinese architecture to start me off with visualizing the house I intend to build there later on. And today I met a well-known Dutch architect living in Ubud who gave me further advice on build a suitable house on the block.

Now that my strength is returning from the weeks of cold and throat infection, I am happy to live forward again.

Photographs: View of the block from the lower terrace (top), and beautiful Ubud morning (bottom).

Good team

2007-04-07T23:26:00.000+08:00

I spent yesterday with a close friend, talking about the changes in our lives. He was visiting Manila for a week, and it was good to catch up and compare notes. He is older than me, at least biologically, and I usually get some good advice. Yesterday was no exception.

He told me the story of a group of Harvard graduates who had been subjected to research about the success they achieved in their life after graduation. The message was that only two graduates of the group had set themselves goals, and that these two had achieved more than all the others put together.

So we took some time discussing life goals and the importance of taking action to achieve them. We discussed the elements of a life goals chart. Mission, vision and values at the top, together with dreams, and below that specific life goals, and under that the goals for 2007. And at the bottom the available resources and, importantly, the activities to drop and avoid from one’s life. Because, while we can do almost anything when we put our mind to it, we certainly can’t do everything.

Our range of topics also covered the benefits of early retirement, pursuing life-long education, doing business and reaching out to people, drinking good coffee, speeding up our computers, and living in Bali, a place he loves too. He gave me good advice about the piece of land I am considering. How to clear it, put in drainage, and start building in phases, beginning with a small pavilion that can serve to try out design and building materials, and can become (his) guest quarters later on.

All in all, it was a rewarding day. And when he texted me this morning from the airport “we make a good team”, I agreed. It is good when friends team up to help each other.

Photograph: My friend with a wallaby (top) and one of my actions this week: ordering a life coaching home-study course (bottom).

Open spaces

2007-04-05T21:47:00.000+08:00

If we don’t change, we don’t grow
– Gail Sheehy

Without change, growth is impossible. Living forward, therefore, is about embracing change. Even looking for it. Not change for the sake of change, but to ensure that I keep my living space open. And, let’s face it, my living space is often more walled in than open. I hold on to what I am accustomed to. I treasure what is comfortable to me. I resist when someone tells me to try a new approach. I am not naturally open to change.

I was thinking today about the value of living with an open space concept, and I compared it with what I saw in Bali. During my visit last February, I wondered why the people there treasure open spaces so much. In fact, I found that much of traditional Balinese architecture is about open space, exemplified by the pavilion, the balé. It is a structure that creates a space that can be used for many purposes. Most importantly, it does not have walls.

I was even more amazed when I visited some Balinese temples, like Pura Samuan Tiga. I found it full of seemingly empty space, and images of deities were nowhere to be seen. The gods are in heaven, I was told by the helpful guardians, and they come to visit the temple once a year during the temple’s annual festival. So it seemed that the temple also served as an open space, which only truly came to life when the gods visited.

In fact, every pavilion I saw in Bali, from the small balé in the corner of my hotel room garden to the community halls of villages and the grand pavilions of temples, seemed to have its own character and atmosphere, yet they shared the common qualities of providing an open space.

Then it occurred to me that these pavilions somehow resemble the lives of truly great people in this world. To me, the greatness of these leaders is characterized by their vision, their openness, their strategic foresight, and their capacity to listen and respond to the needs of people from all walks of life, backgrounds, and opinions.

Would it be too much to say that a pavilion is a unique structure that links heaven and earth yet does not divide people on this earth by the construction of walls? For sure, if my life would have no walls, it would be much easier to see the changes happening around me, and to adapt my life to these changes.

A strong structure, yet no walls, what an interesting metaphor that is for a life that embraces change. In such a beautiful open space, there is nothing to hold me back from growing.

Photograph: A pavilion in Pura Samuan Tiga temple, Ubud, Bali.

Stock taking

2007-04-01T00:53:00.000+08:00

At the end of the week, I take stock of my results and experience.

I am more focused on results now, especially positive ones. Living forward needs keeping track of the road traveled, and what I experienced along the way. Doing that regularly is a good thing.

In fact, the end of the day, and the end of the week are good times to reflect and taking stock. Celebrate and enjoy the successes. And learn lessons from what did not go as expected, and then let go of it.

A friend shared this week how coaching was helping her move forward with her life, with some important changes coming up. And these changes had been triggered by some unexpected tough experiences.

Another friend started to discover how focusing on personal talents and strengths with a positive attitude might help to get a new job with a better salary.

And I was touched by the initiative of a colleague at work who arranged dinner to “reach out” to a friend who was going through a rough time. He told me later how friends had done the same for him years ago, and he had never forgotten how it had helped him.

I read a good book on coaching in China that focused on the person (Ren) rather than on the issues.

And my friend Jim Paredes announced the publication of his latest book, As Is Where Is, through Lulu.com.

In Ubud, meanwhile, an architect took a look at the land I am interested to buy, to advise on what could be built there. As a result, some more questions need to addressed.

And creative ideas for new enterprises were born involving designer jewellery and yoga training.

Today I bought a screen protector for my new Nokia phone. And I got myself a pair of new Merrell sandals, nice and comfortable.

And I kept reading more and more about life coaching training, the topic that keeps attracting my interest, and which I have included in my goals for this year.

Sadly, the family driver left this monring. I released him and he released me. Continued squabbling between driver and helpers was affecting the atmosphere in the house.

For most of the week, I was able to maintain a positive attitude. And yet I learned that actions taken with a positive intent can still be perceived differently by others. Even with a positive mind, I need to try and understand how my actions come across to others, and tune in to their feelings.

It’s good to keep track of what happens in and around me. And now I realize I should do it every day, because it is so much easier to do when it is still fresh.

Photograph: Woman carrying light, Hanoi Hilton Opera hotel.

Connecting people

2007-03-26T01:49:00.000+08:00

An unbelievable delay? I can hardly believe it myself. It took me all these years, ever since the first clunky Motorola handphone, to become the proud owner of a Nokia!

After the cloneable Motorola, I had a Philips with voice activation, then a Sony Ericsson P800, and finally two XDAs, the IIs and now the Atom Exec. So why get another phone now?

My powerful Atom developed a problem – I can only hear sound and speak through the headset (I use a bluetooth Jabra now). And the O2 service center told me that they need to replace the motherboard. But I can’t live without a phone!

And then, I travel abroad frequently and roaming costs are high. So having a second phone for using local sim cards makes good sense. Meanwhile, I keep my international phone on roaming so that my loved ones can reach me anywhere, anytime.

I had only one condition when I entered the Hello cell phone shop today – the new phone had to be red! No problem, my two daughters came with me and advised me which phone to select, and I liked it too: the new Nokia 5300 Xpress Music.

Connecting people, just what I want.

Photograph: Connecting people, creating life.

The Chi Connection Code

2007-03-25T00:07:00.000+08:00

The fountain lives by virtue of the water that flows through it.

- David Peat

Imagine energy flowing deliciously through your body. Your warm feelings create a sense of wonder about the world around you. Your vitality is strong. We all enjoy moments when we experience this. And we want to stretch them, recreate them, to feel really good more often. Do we have to create such feelings, pump up such energy? Or is there a way we can attract them to come to us? Speak a magic word to invite them, like a genie out of a bottle?

When I and my fellow classmates joined morning exercises with teacher Mantak Chia a few years ago, he told us the secret, and I have nevery forgotten it. In fact, I think about it often, and I use it successfully. Master Chia said that it is as if we are swimming in a pool of Chi. "It’s all around you, he said, wherever you go. But most people don’t see it, don’t know it. That’s the secret," he said. And with his body shaking with laughter as usual, he told us “It is so easy, just connect to the Chi that’s all around you. You are swimming in it!”

I guess all of us who had gathered on that field at Tao Garden outside Chiang Mai in the early morning wondered quietly if it could really be that simple.* We smiled politely, and we tried. And in the following days, our smiles sometimes hid the agony of stretching muscles and tendons as we bent our bodies into ancient postures of peacock looks at its own tail, monkey prays with elbows and several other Tao Yin or “guide and pull” exercises that are older than Tai Chi. The Chinese already found out millennia ago that revitalization and longevity come with daily physical exercises that open up our spine. Stretching is good!

On the other hand, I have come to see that the worst thing we can do to live better is trying too hard. Trying hard is not enough to create good energy and nice feelings. This is also true with exercise. The real benefit comes afterwards, as you relax and consciously open up and focus your awareness on the moment. “Chi follows where our awareness leads it,” Master Chia explained. After we open up, as we focus our attention one by one on different parts of our body, Chi follows as if magically attracted to those parts. Try relaxing and focusing on the crown of your head, lift your closed eyes upward, and you will feel energy coming in. Stretch out your arms and twist your wrists, and you will feel energy entering your body through your hands.

Chi is all around us, and it follows our lead, our focused awareness. We live at a time when the Da Vinci Code has aroused the interest of millions around the world for the mysteries that surround us. Many other authors have jumped on the bandwagon and wrote about other codes. Yet one of the most powerful codes of all has been with us for as long as millennia. I would call it the Chi Connection Code. We can tap into it anytime. It used to be the secret of Tao alchemists and spiritual recluses. Masters who only passed it on to their most trusted pupils. Yet in this age of Aquarius, where spiritual growth is spreading like never before, modern masters like Mantak Chia have decided to disclose the secret way to anyone who wants to hear, all around the world. Just visit your local bookstore and you will find out. Look under New Age, Self-Enrichment, or Health.

* To watch Master Chia lead an early morning exercise, visit the Tao Training Center website and click on “internal exercise for morning” to see the video clip.

Photograph: Tao Fountain of the late Frank Polman.

Connecting dots

2007-03-20T00:56:00.000+08:00

Today is Nyepi, the day of silence that falls on Bali’s lunar new year. It is a day of silence, fasting, and meditation, and even the island’s airport is shut down. What a great idea to dedicate the first day of the new year to silence. I wish I was there joining in the silent celebration of the day. For me, today was a travel day, flying from Manila to Hanoi through Hong Kong. However, I did spend time quietly reflecting on my life as I sat in my airplane seat.

Aldous Huxley said that “the more powerful and original a mind is, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude.” I reflected today on what it means to have private space where one can enjoy solitude. Private space can be virtual, meaning the type of space we can learn to create anywhere and anytime through our mind. For example, I could sit in an airplane full of people yet experience my own private space.

However, private space can also refer to physical space that is especially created with the idea of celebrating solitude. Part of my dream is to create a physical space that combines a studio with private living quarters with an outdoors bath and a walled terrace overlooking a green tropical valley. A space where I could be both private and intensily creative. Who knows, some day I might be able to realize this dream. I am working on it, actually.

For me, and many other introverts, I need to regenerate my energy in solitude before I can comfortably mingle with friends and acquaintances. One is a condition for the other, is how it works for me. Finding private space and private time become critically important. John Maxwell calls it “growth time”, and he encourages his readers to find such time every day.

Against the backdrop of a spectacular view of Hanoi by night, my discussion over dinner this evening centered unexpectedly on how life is marked by changes, how different these changes are experienced by women and men, and on the opportunities to make these differences work to complement each other’s needs. I realized that unless we learn to know and love ourself more, it would be different to help others. In fact, there is a Vietnamese proverb that cautions against trying to help others before being able to help ourselves.

The more I practice being quiet and receptive in my soul, the more I realize how rich I really am in the universe around me. The dots in my universe are connecting mysteriously whenever I care to take a look. And I am more and more excited to find ways to share this magic with people around me for their benefit. I am glad to be reborn at 50, and sometimes I wonder why it took me so long to find out life’s lessons. Oh well, it just takes longer for men than women, it seems!

Photograph: Wake Up - Espresso cup from Ubud, Bali.

How you want it

2007-03-16T11:51:00.000+08:00

I missed writing the past days. A nasty cold kept me from doing anything apart from the most urgent tasks that I could not avoid. A test confirmed that the infection is viral, not bacterial, so no need for antibiotics – that was good news. And I was struck by the number of people who advised me to drink lots of water. Everyone seems to know this nowadays. Nice for a water expert to hear this.

Days of feeling physically low pushed me into “conservation” mode. I long to get back to “regeneration” and to feel more energetic again. But since I take life as it comes, I also embrace this feeling of conservation, being careful what to do and what not to do. The importance of rest becomes clear. Not taking adequate rest seems like a clear and present danger to me now. That’s good.

Even when low, however, there’s lots to learn. In fact, I found that listening becomes easier. Switching to receiving mode also helped me to get more ideas, and I’ve been writing these down as soon as I could.

Life is how you want it to be. And the sky is bright blue here!

Photograph: Temple in use, outside Ubud, Bali

Chaser to maker

2007-03-11T23:54:00.000+08:00

This clipping from my first collage sums up how my life has changed. When I met Jim Paredes in his Tapping the Creative Universe seminar in Manila in December 2003, he challenged all of us to forego tv, radio, and books for the two week duration of the classes and to work on unlocking our own creativity in stead.

Apart from writing daily morning pages, one of the assignments was to make a collage at home about our life and what we saw changing in it, and to present it to the class. Those were touching moments. We all lowered our defences and opened up to connections with the creative universe, and many of us took the opportunity to embrace changes in our life.

In the four years that have passed since that class, I have spent a lot of time reading, writing, playing music, and sharing time with family and friends. And I realized today that I hardly ever watched tv anymore in all that time. I keep up with world news by taking a quick look at websites every day, but this takes me minutes rather than hours.

Everything seems to pass from one generation to the next, though. My daughter is now a fervent tv watcher. She seems perfectly content when she sits in her "command center" corner with computer and tv arranged closely around her and ipod available at all times. But then, she’s also investing much time in creativity, like singing, figure skating, guitar, and drawing Japanese mangas. She caught the creative bug as well.

For me, the tide in life has clearly turned. I am happy to live more inside out, in stead of letting my life be dominated by consumption as before. Like the shepherd boy in The Alchemist, I have come to realize that the treasure is buried at home, right where I am. So I continue walking on my path to grow and to help others. And it’s an exciting journey every day.

In between my coughing and sneezing this weekend, I managed to complete a number of tasks that increased my motivation to do more. Yesterday, I registered a domain name for a website that I want to develop this year in support of my life coaching plans. I also put my goals and targets for 2007 on paper, so I can prioritize my time and focus my energy.

John Maxwell quotes a Gregg Harris as having said that 67 of the 100 people he surveyed had set goals for themselves (that percentage includes me now!). However of those 67 people, he said, only 10 made realistic plans to achieve their goals, and of those 10, only 2 people followed through and made them happen. Ouch! What a powerful reminder to stop procrastinating and get on with our life as it should be lived! Except that each person’s purpose is different. So it is a personal journey of inquiry to figure out where each of us should go, how we get there, and to make sure that we do.

I am walking in that direction, and I am happy to have a better map in my hand after this weekend’s work. The other hand still holds a hanky for my sneezing.

Photograph: Detail of my life change collage in December 2003.

Easy choice

2007-03-09T23:51:00.000+08:00

For the past two nights, I let my mind go blank and fell asleep early, in stead of staying up late blogging, reading, and web-browsing. I have been down with a cold, but not serious enough to stay home. I stuck with my daily routine, more or less.

I was buoyed by a friend today who shared that she was going through a midlife transition and had chosen to take matters into her own hands to change her life for the better. I found her experience remarkably similar to my own, and we felt encouraged by each other’s choice to live forward positively.

My teacher and friend Jim Paredes made a comment on my completion of the Reborn at 50 blog that also warmed my heart. Sharing life with positive people is so beneficial. And the opposite is equally powerful, as negative energy clings and is not easily shed. The choice is left to us. And it’s an easy choice to make after having discovered the power of being positive.

Once in a while, a storm will enter our life unexpectedly to shake us out of daily routines, hold up a mirror of self-reflection, and remind us of the journey ahead. Keep walking. Don’t stay too long in your comfort zone. Usually, the storm is short lived. And when our positive attitude takes over, storms cease to matter. Light always illuminates darkness.

I learned a lot this week about the benefit in taking small steps every day towards my goals, my dreams in life. I realized that each step counts and gives a surprising satisfaction when accomplished. Like magic, my motivation increased to take more steps.

Over the past few days, I started a new email address at GMail, learned about setting up a website for e-commerce, followed up on practical matters for the piece of land in Ubud that I am interested in, and enjoyed checking out websites on how to tie a sarong. All in a minimum of time, yet with great pleasure.

I discovered that spending time each day doing something I really enjoy, and hanging out with positive-minded people, are two great ways to charge my battery, especially when I’m feeling flat with a cold.

Photograph: Serious looking guy in the Archeological Museum of Bali in Pejeng.

Bulgarian spring

2007-03-06T22:42:00.000+08:00

I observed my body as I was lying completely quiet in the bath tub. It was only the second time I used the bath in the three years I live here. I prefer showering.

But today, I went in recovery mode. A sore throat and aches attacked me suddenly this afternoon, the onset of a cold probably. I quickly took additional vitamin c and echinacaea tablets, but for the most part, I was just quietly relaxing and tuning in to my body’s signals.

I observed that while I have good stamina to continue working when I am not feeling well, my system is telling me to slow down and reflect on regeneration, to pay attention to my body and physiological systems, and my energy levels.

And so I slowed down this evening after coming home, and observed how I felt, and how my body is reacting, and my mind as well. It is such an interesting experience to be one’s own observer. Strangely enough, then, I felt I have to write about it, in stead of just turning in early and sicking it out.

I was touched today by a small red and white cloth string worn around the wrist by my Bulgarian colleague at work. He told me it is an age-old custom in Bulgaria to wear this string in early March to mark the coming of spring. We both remarked how similar it looked to wrist strings worn in several Asian countries to celebrate spiritual and community connections.

So spring is coming, at least in the northern hemisphere, and with it ideas of freshness, new growth, new opportunities. Fertility too, perhaps.

A shocking contrast with my journey home this evening on a road full of smoke-belching buses. I thought of severely polluted cities in other parts of the world that have been able to clean up their act, like London with its infamous and deadly smog in decades past.

What would it take to see air quality on the roads improve in this city that I have called home for many years now? Laws exist but lack enforcement, and what action is attempted is circumvented by operators who seem to put their dirtiest smoke-belching buses on the road in the evening and night when it is dark.

I believe that the heart of development lies in people themselves, both individual and in organizations. But admittedly, I find it hard to imagine how the good efforts of so many citizens in this city can continue to be negated by the folly of a few who still refuse to take responsibility to care about the environment.

So the best for me would be to make sure that these noxious fumes will no longer enter my car, as they do at the moment since my air inlet seems to be malfunctioning. But today’s experience was a lesson about what pedestrians, jeepney passengers, and straphangers in buses suffer on a daily basis. How sad, and what a reminder of great opportunities for improvement.

Regeneration can come at all levels, in body and soul, and in organized society as well. Is that why people these days refer to civil society? I associate the word civil with the knowledge and ability to do the right thing, and to live inside out from love and care for ourselves and our fellow citizens.

Perhaps the bus operators in this city could be given a holiday in Bali and learn from the people there who innately believe in the importance of maintaining balance between people, the spiritual world, and the environment around them.

Meanwhile, regeneration can start everywhere, and all the time. And I experience my part of it now, even as I am not opening my mouth because of a sore throat.

And I salute the Bulgarian custom of celebrating the promise of regeneration by wearing a small red and white string on the wrist at the start of spring.

Photograph: Harmony in pond and bamboo, at the Ayala Museum.

Culturally infused

2007-03-04T18:08:00.000+08:00

Let me be honest… it is not everyday that I feel good, even if I know all the ways to live well from the inside out.

I got up late this morning with a burning desire to get out and do something enriching. The friend with whom I had planned to visit Ayala Museum couldn’t make it, and I decided to go anyway, to make good use of the morning mood.

The visit turned me on, really. I felt alive and vibrant! And by what, whom? By an unlikely combination of culture.

As I passed the M Café at Ayala Museum the Sunday morning brunch was in full swing, flavored with crisp sax sounds by Vince Lahorra. I found out his name in passing when I asked a waitress who he was. I listened for a few spell-bound moments, and then decided to continue what I had set out to do. I walked the few more steps to the museum entrance.

The Ayala Museum is seen from top to bottom, literally. You travel up by lift to the fourth floor of the stylishly designed modern building, and it’s all downstairs from there. Except when the exhibits are so good that you linger on each floor. As is usually the case. And although I had visited several times before, today it felt as new.

I was mesmerized by the exhibition on Chinese Diaspora – Art Streams from the Mainland. The Peranakan Legacy display of art objects, clothes, jewellery, and others from Southeast Asian countries allowed me a fresh peek inside the lives of the overseas Chinese who have made this corner of the world their home since they started migrating there from the mainland in the 15th century or earlier.

The beauty and creativity of each piece struck me, as did the humor in assuming the reasons why some pieces had less diamonds than in the original design, hinting that paying off gambling debts might have been to blame. In one case, a beautiful silver and golden belt had additional panels added over the years, presumably to accommodate an increasing waistline as years went by.

Most of all, I was touched that the beauty of the art and the intent of their creators and owners transcended time and place to meet me this morning. As always, there were some sad tinges too, like the wartime story of a family in Penang who plucked a diamond each week from their heirlooms to buy food. A remarkable case how art allowed them to make ends meet. They were lucky to have enough of it.

Another fascinating story was the evolution of clothes worn by overseas Chinese women. From long pants and conservative long-sleeve shirts (baju panjang) into the voluptuous sarong and kebaya introduced in the 1940s. The sarong sensually hugging a woman’s hips. The kebaya intricately designed to show ever more of the woman’s beauty through sheer material that retained traditional form only as a transparent whiff.

One century later, and after spending a week in Bali for my rebirth at 50, I admired the batik garments on show with a realization how they continue to adorn women today with a timeless sexy attraction.

And then there were the spended colors and designs of the batik designs, and of the porcelain. A feast for the eyes, in bright colors that merged the cultural origins from China with those of the Southeast Asian locale, in particular Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore.

I also learned that Damian Domingo, the first great Filipino painter who established the first Philippine art academy in 1823, was a Chinese Mestizo rather than from Spanish origin as had been assumed. China Gaze by Valeria Cavestany proved to be an enchanting collection of light boxes in a darkened room, with mixed media works depicting Chinese identity in foreign settings.

After more than an hour of feasting my eyes and imagination on the Chinese Diaspora exhibition, and dipping into a few other exhibits as well, I left with a promise to return soon for more.

Descending further and exiting the doors, I was greeted once again by the jazzy sound of Vince Lahorra at the M Café, and I enjoyed his musical hospitality over cappuccino and a pandan sans rival cake. After he finished his gig, we met and chatted, and he invited me to jam with him next time. I felt as if the Universe sent me a nudge to practise more on my sax.

Life without music would be a mistake, a store sign in Singapore said last year.

Today, I got a vivid reminder how much art, culture and music can do to invigorate my life and introduce new friends, connecting more dots. Neglecting that would indeed be a mistake.

Photographs: Ayala Museum Café (top), Chinese Diaspora exhibition (middle), and Vince Lahorra on sax (bottom).

Very alive

2007-03-04T00:42:00.000+08:00

After my life-break and rebirth at 50 in Bali a week ago, I returned to work. But I didn’t experience it as going back, but rather as going forward!

Going back implies a stagnant mind, and I feel that I am moving into new territory. Actually, my work challenges are evolving all the time, and I found myself embracing some changes in the past week.

A good part of the late afternoon and early evening today was spent reading about hypnotic writing, and I found Joe Vitale’s book on the topic to be a fascinating read. Without proper writing skills and approach, I realized how much is likely to get “lost in translation” or simply never read because readers get bored easily and move on.

My reading time was spent in the spacious Starbucks store in 6750 office tower, and I enjoyed seeing a friend there who recently got promoted to manage this most prestigious of Starbucks locations in Makati.

Meanwhile, I’ve been following up on the interesting piece of land I saw last week in Bali, overlooking a quiet forested valley 20 minutes up-country from Ubud. I requested the agent if it could be properly measured, and I think I will find out soon if the piece is waiting for me.

The past two evenings saw me taking time off from writing to have a break and earlier sleep, but I found that I missed the rhythm of daily writing and posting. What nice feeling!

Photograph: Image of Atintya, the Balinese supreme unknowable God, shown as thoroughly alive with flames around his body, Photo by Rio Helmi in the Knopf Guide on Bali.

Adapting to change

2007-02-28T23:51:00.000+08:00

The only constant is change, goes the saying. And how true it is! We can overlook change, resist it, or adapt to it. The latter is by far the best.

Life changed this week for the family and friends of the 23 people who died and 20 who were wounded in a suicide bombing targeted at the US Vice President visiting Afghanistan. The news stories did not report any remark by the VP about the loss of life. Was he ignoring or resisting the change taking place?

It is easy to resist change when we become rigidly focused on a task and forget to step back to review where we are and what has changed around us in the meantime. It is also easy to forget that usually there is more than one solution to a problem.

Adapting to change seems hard but is more satisfying, I found. Embracing change means letting go of something every day, even more than once a day. The result is more freedom, less attachment, and being more attuned to my environment. While I am deliberate and mindful in each moment, after I have dedicated my action I let go of it, and I am free again to choose the best action in the next moment.

The human mind creates illusions of structure and unchanging truth. However, in reality everything around us changes, and even our own bodies are made up of changing energies of varying densities. The world seems stationary to our eyes and senses, but is in fact spinning fast all the time, so that is another optical illusion created by our mind.

When we decide in favor of adapting to change, we relegate the mind to be our servant in stead of our master, and we start trusting our intuition more. Once we learn to listen better to our inner voice, every moment and every circumstance in our life can teach us a lesson or send us a valuable message.

I decided that adapting to change is the best way to live.

Photograph: Delicious dish waiting to be eaten in Warung Enak, Ubud. Once I ate it, I moved on.

Giving back

2007-02-27T02:11:00.000+08:00

Two unexpected things happened to me today.

First, I found out about the scare caused by salmonella bacteria in my favorite peanut butter brand, Peter Pan. It has prompted a global recall of the product after a few hundred people fell sick in the US and a few died. Amazingly, the shop where I regularly buy this peanut butter managed to contact me asking that I return the merchandise to them.

Second, I received a belated birthday present in the form of a Charriol ball pen, with a wish that I enjoy writing more and more to inspire others. And interestingly, this fancy ball pen made in Geneva uses Parker cartridges, so finding replacements is easy.

Most of my day, however, was spent on predictable activities like cleaning up my email inbox, updating my action list, having a cappuccino during coffee breaks, and enjoying the salad bar for lunch. I also received two books from Amazon, one requested by my daughter to give as a birthday present to her class mate friend, and another for myself about life coaching: The Coaching Starter Kit by CoachVille.com.

What was also to be expected is that I felt tired after a long first day back in office. It was the first day in many months that I didn’t have to write a daily blog post for Reborn at 50. However, I found that I could not refrain from writing even as I was tired – the urge to write is within me now, even if I am bleary eyed.

So I live forward appreciating the unexpected as well as expected happenings. The experience of “giving back” is one I will explore further: giving back to nature by being careful and avoid wasting valuable resources; giving back to friends by sharing good things with those who support me; and giving back to the universe by returning tasks, beliefs, and material posessions that are poisonous to me.

The art of giving back will help me to create space for living forward.

Photograph: Balinese altar for giving back, with checkered clothes with Poleng pattern depicting right and wrong living side by side.

Living forward

2007-02-26T00:37:00.000+08:00

I returned today from a week-long holiday in Ubud, Bali to celebrate being reborn at 50. It was an unforgettable visit, and it capped off an insightful journey of 83 days to prepare for my rebirth. Now that my Reborn at 50 blog is complete with a daily countdown of 83 posts, I return to Dao and Wine which is where I started blogging last year.

Living forward is a theme that distilled itself from my week of celebration. I got lots of inspiration for living forward during the holiday. Ubud is the epicenter of art in Bali and I had a great week of appreciating nature, good food, music, art, and real estate there. The town is filled to the brim with creativity, and people are friendly and gentle.

Traveling back today was fun as well. The Balinese staff of the resort were very friendly and helpful in seeing me off. I did more souvenir shopping in the airport, and watched the latest James Bond movie in the plane from Singapore to Manila. Then the unpacking of gifts and other acquisitions at home.

What a difference a day makes, goes a famous song. In my case, the past week almost made me forget my daily routines in Manila. I realized that taking a break is a healthy thing to do. I am happy to be 50 now, and I have lots of plans for living forward.

Each night in Ubud, the friendly hotel staff put a card with a quotation on my pillow. One that stood out for me was by Sanaya Roman and read “What you love is a sign from your higher self of what you are to do.” I loved exploring Ubud last week, and I feel more connected as a result, with myself and with the universe around me.

Photograph: Something old, something new. I left my old sandals in Ubud - I think they carried me far enough in the past 4 years. I replaced them with comfortable slippers for in and around the house.

Live the dream

2007-01-06T23:08:00.000+08:00

The slogan on the cover of my first journal said it all.

A new year has started six days ago. Many people have already died unexpectedly. In Indonesia, Iraq, and many other places.

Life is precious, and living it well is the greatest thing we can do.

There are 48 days left until a major passage in my life. I have a wish to be reborn at 50 and to give it my best shot in the years ahead.

And I believe that it will happen according to my choice. I never know when, but the saying goes that success comes to those who go to it.

Everyday is a gift.

Photographs: (top) Cover of my first journal, made by Stradmore; (bottom) Success doesn’t come to you… you go to it (published unknown to me).

No Moon

2006-12-31T22:03:00.000+08:00

Crackers are going off everywhere to usher in the New Year!

Here in Manila they are peaceful, although it starts smelling like a war zone already at 10 pm.

In Bangkok seven bombs have interrupted the celebrations today.

In Baghdad and other cities in Iraq, people keep dying without need.

Sadly, violence continues to plague our world in many places. Humanity doesn’t seem to learn and move forward.

Thirty-four years ago my history teacher taught us in school that history showed that people don’t learn from history. Mahatma Gandhi said that the world has enough for everyone’s need but not for everyone’s greed.

A sad note… there is only one way forward, a much better way to greet the New Year. That is to reach inside us and let our best qualities shine and come out.

Let’s forget anger, greed, and envy, and make place for genuine happiness. The world will never become a better place unless we all do our bit, personally.

When I will lit off the fireworks in 2 hours time and wave sabers of sparkles with my daughter, it will be to celebrate all the good things that 2006 brought us, from within and from outside of us.

Today’s wine is a toast for the best to come out, now and in the new year!

Photograph: Drinking wine and being merry, let the best come out.

Natural clearing

2006-12-18T01:44:00.000+08:00

Today I took a picture of a changed landscape. Typhoon Milenyo struck a few months back at the end of September, and reminded Manila residents about the force of nature.

Here are two photographs of the same place, one of my favorite Starbucks in town, the one in Rockwell. The first was taken before the typhoon, and the second one after (today, almost three months later).

The parking guard caught me by surprise today when he asked me if I had a permit to take pictures. Apparently they are more concerned now about the security of Starbucks establishments.

Weeping gently

2006-12-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

I have neglected my dear Dao and Wine blog for over a week. I've been occupied posting daily for my temporary blog Reborn at 50, which marks the countdown of days until I make my half century.

My writing starts to flow better, and I'm very pleased with that. I enjoy writing every day a bit more. I am getting out of my slump. I am getting more and more ideas for new activities.

Last Sunday when I brought my daughter to her singing lesson in Yamaha music school, I was attracted to the electric guitars on display for the first time. And this evening when I was listening to the newly remastered Beatles album Love, and While My Guitar Gently Weeps came on, I just wanted to make that gentle weeping happen myself.

With several weeks off from work, I will make the most of being creative. Especially writing and music. Life seems like a mistake to me now without these two.

Photograph: The new Beatles album Love.

Keep writing

2006-12-04T23:07:00.000+08:00

There is no doubt in my mind. The highlight of this year is that I discovered my passion for writing. I know I have much to learn to become a better writer and I like the challenge. Most important advice to myself: keep writing. Practice is fun, and it pushes me to open myself more to the unknown.

When I meet new people nowadays, I'm interested in their creativity more than anything else. Soon after introductions, I will find a way to ask them about their art, their music, their expression. Everyone likes this question, I noticed. Yet only a few people answer it readily.

At today's art exhibit of the Asia Society at the Filipinas Heritage Library, I found that I was drawn to art works that display something red. Probably my age. I used to like dark blue.

Photograph: Red Art, by The Drawing Room Contemporary Art

Poaching discovered

2006-12-02T21:09:00.000+08:00

I have always thought that poaching eggs is a wrong way of preparing them. The idea of letting an egg slowly turn into a jelly-like watery substance turned me off, and for a long time I associated this quality with the way of life in England.

I like boiled eggs for breakfast when their yolk is still soft. I love fried eggs, sunny-side up, on toast or with fried rice. I cherish scrambled eggs, especially when they’re done light and creamy. I appreciate omelets, most of all with cheese.

I enjoy eating eggs as part of other dishes, like in Chinese brown sauce (khai palo), egg strips on top of fried rice (nasi goreng), whole eggs in spicy curry (telur belado) or prepared Balinese style. I also savor eggs served as a separate dish such as son-in-law eggs (khai look koey) or thousand-year-old eggs (khai yiew ma). For the latter, the rumor persists that fermentation is started by soaking them in horse urine, although Wikipedia contradicts this.

Compared with this multiversity of preparations, poaching to me seemed a method that is lost between cuisines, devoid of character, producing an egg that is neither here or there and misses out on the character of the other preparations.

A few weeks ago, I was having breakfast with an English friend in a 38th floor hotel lounge overlooking Jakarta. When he ordered poached eggs, I decided to give them another try. And I was surprised at the combination of soft yolk within its thin egg-white coating, on crispy toast, and flavored with a dash of salt and a generous sprinkling of black pepper.

The next day I ordered two poached eggs, only to find them smelling strangely. On return home, I decided to try my hand at making poached eggs, and consulted web pages for help. That is when I discovered that some experts advise adding vinegar to the hot water to help the egg stay together. That explained the funny taste.

To my delight, my first attempt produced a delicious poached egg dish, which I ate with relish.

Photograph: My first home-made poached egg