Fragile moment

“We are always at the beginning of things, in the fragile moment that holds the power of life. We are always at the morning of the world.”
- Francois Cheng

Every moment, with awareness of now, brings a new beginning. There is no reason why today should be like yesterday, or the next hour like the last. It is only the mind that extrapolates from the past, because it cannot know the future. The mind is a great and helpful instrument, yet the power of creation and the choice of action lie deep in my soul, where I feel guided by an alchemy of intuition and integrity.

There are times that I feel tested, like a sword being put into a fire. It is not a pleasant feeling, for sure. The past weeks of high pressure at the work place have inflicted a toll. My attitude and response-ability under stress showed up, as if someone was holding a mirror in front of me and I could see the cracks and impurities clearly. There was no one else to blame for the situation than myself. Yet I realized that reflecting on victim-itis has always been an exercise in futility.

I took a step back and looked at the whole mirror, not just the cracks. I thought of Jim Paredes’ rules of tapping the creative universe, starting with Show Up, and Pay Attention, and then to observe the “dots” connecting in ways not seen before.

At that point, a friend sent me a link to Steve Pavlina’s post How to Be a Man. I found the piece of exceptional value and a joy to read.

Steve’s first point is about men understanding and respecting the power of choice. “He lives a life of his own creation.” And his third point also held a reminder for me: “A man grows more from failure than he does from success. Success cannot test his resolve in the way that failure can. Success has its challenges, but a man learns more about himself when he takes on challenges that involve risk.”

These points certainly applied to my pressure at work, which was of my own making by taking on a challenging project with little time to complete preparations. And I realized that this had been the right thing for me to do, and that I would not be put down if the project or a part of it would not succeed.

“When a man plays it safe, his vitality is lost, and he loses his edge,” concluded Steve.

I got a kick out of that, as I realized that courage and persistence are two of my most valuable allies, and that I could choose to apply them in any fragile moment to unleash the power of life.

PS: Steve Pavlina's sequel How to Be a Woman was written by 52 women.

Photograph: Sun in Intramuros, Manila.

Writing down

“He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know.”
-- Lao Tzu

Where does that leave a writer? Writing is a quiet business, done at my table, away from the action. Showing up for writing is different from opening my mouth.

Paying attention to writing is to translate quietly what happens in and around me in words. I work to characterize a bigger scene by focusing on a fewer pieces that make it up, using these to capture a bigger picture in words that will hopefully be spell binding in simplicity.

Like in many other things, the pursuit of perfect can be the enemy of the good in writing too. A friend reminded me last week how important it is to just keep writing. Even if one third or only one tenth turns out well, it takes writing all of one hundred percent to get there, by showing up and keeping at it. When I aim for perfect, it seems to hold me back and limit my output. There is no short-cut to perfect. It is a journey.

I found that writing is also anticipating what wants to happen, and letting myself be an instrument. I look for the bigger picture of a universe that steers things positively. The stories of human fragility and suffering in the calamities in China and Myanmar also showed what extraordinary things people can do in solidarity to relieve suffering and make things better for their fellow humans. It made me realize that for every day that I am alive, I can decide to live positively and contribute to living better now, for myself and the people around me. In every situation I can ask myself how I can make it better.

Where does this start? To help others, I need to be driven by my own program, my potential, my goals. Strangely, I found that I cannot sacrifice my own goals that I have to live by. Love your neighbor as yourself, Jesus the Christ said 2,000 years ago, implying that self-love and appreciation must take precedence as the starting point.

I need to renew this every day, even several times during the day. It is about self-awareness. Practicing Neru cultivates non ego as I realize that the universe manifests itself in me like it does in all other people. Self-love without ego can be the hardest of all to practice, yet it is an ever-present force as I become more familiar with the ties that connect me to the universe. For as long as I do not get blinded by ego, that illusion that I could live as a separate entity disconnected from the others around me.

As I feel more of the force within, I can afford to speak less, and enjoy quietness and writing more.

Photograph: A powerful flower.