Monday, December 29, 2008

Sleepless in Solo

"The more you can dream, the more you can do."
- Michael Korda

Sleeping giant Lawu lies to the East, and Merbabu and Merapi, two active volcanoes are visible when the clouds have cleared in the West.


It is said that the city never sleeps, and I wondered if I would find out the reason during my short visit last week.

As the plane descended after the short hop from Jakarta, the sprawling provincial town of Solo came into view, bounded by verdant rice paddies and a muddy Bengawan Solo, Java island’s longest river.

Not an ordinary city by any means, for Solo has been ruled for centuries by two royal dynasties, one in the larger palace of the Susuhunan or Sultan, and another in the smaller palace of the Mangkunegara. The grand titles of the rulers in the sultan’s palace, Paku Buwono (Center of the World) and Hamengku Buwono (Upholder of the World), are testimony to the city’s world view throughout much of Javanese history.

Solo's god-king was traditionally regarded as the most powerful ruler in the land. Although all kingdoms and local principalities have been subsumed by the Republic of Indonesia, the dynasty has in fact continued.

Not long ago, the succession of the 13th ruler of the dynasty was marked by intense rivalries, showing that the royal family of Solo, although nowadays endowed with far fewer resources and temporal powers, is still vital in Java’s society. The city’s quest to dispense power to the world still lives on.

What kind of power can be so enduring? In Divided Royalty (2005), Mark Forbes gives some hints. He quotes a princess of the palace of the sultan saying that spiritual strength emanates from the palace. And he goes on to explain that “aside from three wives in the physical world, the Sultan is also betrothed to the spirit-queen of the sea, climbing a tall white tower inside the Kraton (palace) each year to service her needs in a private bedchamber.”

Clearly, then, there is more to Solo’s power than can be observed in daylight. It is very much a round-the-clock affair.

On a slightly more modest scale, princes in the second palace go by the title of Mangkunegara (Holder of the Country). This beautiful small palace was established in 1757 and is today the ancestral home of the ninth prince of the dynasty.

One of the rulers, Prince Mangkunegara IV, lived from 1853 to 1881 and was a famous poet. His lines are still recited to musical accompaniment of gamelans across the island, and they can even be heard by extraterrestrials outside our solar system.

Puspa Warna or A Variety of Flowers is one of the well known poems penned by this Prince for a male singer to be accompanied by the traditional Javanese gamelan orchestra, in the pentatonic slendro manyura style. It is said that the piece would be performed for the entrance of the prince.

The text refers to 9 different kinds of flowers, each symbolizing a different
rasa or “emotion inspired in an audience by a performer.” They are the kencur (resurrection lily), blimbing (starfruit), duren (durian), aren (sugarpalm), gedhang (banana tree), jati (teak tree), jambĂ© (betel palm), kapas (cotton plant), and pandan (pandanus). The flowers are thought to refer to his favorite companions.

Here is the Prince’s first stanza inspired by the resurrection lily flower:

“Flower of the kencur plant

always talked about with admiration,
her body is well-shaped
and her movements graceful,
she is so charming in speech
that one feels carried away.”

A recording of Puspa Warna was included by Robert E. Brown on the Voyager Golden Record, which was sent into space in 1977 with the Voyager 1 as a greeting to whatever extraterrestrials may find it.

And here is another example of Javanese poetry set to music, a stanza from the rarely performed ladrang Sekar Gadhung, a central Javanese song of unknown origin, again about a flower, and also played on the slendro manyura style gamelan, this one with a female singer.

“Tip of the fingerbone
of a coconut leaf
sweetly, sweetly,
to be in your power
is in fact a remedy.”

One of the most famous gamelan sets in the country to accompany such potent poetry is the Kyai Kanyut Mesem (Drifting in Smiles), which can be enjoyed in the central pendopo (audience hall) of the Mangkunegaran palace in Solo. While smiling and drifting to music and poetry, the appreciative audience can glance up to see the eight-colored painting on the high ceiling.

Each of the eight colors symbolized a power to ward off a variety of sins and disasters. Yellow helped to ward off sleepiness, blue guarded against disaster, black against hunger, green against desire or frustration, white against lust, rose against fear, red against evil, and purple against evil thoughts. The palace offered plenty of inspiration to keep the listeners awake.

Meanwhile, out in the maze of streets and alleys, Solo is famous for its eateries. A variety of delicacies seem to be available around the clock. Eating nasi liwet is a local favorite that attracts visitors from around the country and beyond. The meal of rice cooked in coconut milk, salt and aromatic leaves and mixed with chicken or other meats, can be enjoyed from a folder banana leaf in a street-side restaurant without chairs. Such warungs stay open until late into the night, another reason not to sleep.

An intriguing mix of powers then, is my guess for the reasons why the city is reported not to sleep. Mystical powers that keep Solo placed at the center of the world. Musical powers to celebrate emotions that are inspired by artful composers and skillful performers. And sensual powers nurtured by cooks serving up local delicacies around the clock. And the island’s longest river to carry the city’s name, its name the inspiration for the well known song Bengawan Solo.

I found a place to work and dream. And keep dreaming. The more we dream, the more we can do.

No time for sleep.


Photographs: Sleeping giant volcano Lawu watches Solo from the West (top). The 8 colors warding off sins and disasters, on the ceiling of the audience hall at the Mangkunegaran palace (bottom).

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Matters of choice














“Always be a beginner.” - Lou Paget

“Take the ball early, regular, or late, it is your choice,” Coach Rey told me today during my tennis session. I started following his advice and hitting the returns earlier, while the ball was still on the rise. “Whenever possible, step in, don’t step back”, he said, “take the benefit from coming in early.”

Last night I bought an audio book on the topic of living with passion, from a famous American personal development guru. A few days earlier, two management coaches had remarked on my passion during a discussion about introducing the use of stories to get important messages across in our work. So when I saw the title of the audio book in the shop, my curiosity was aroused to find out more about living life with passion.

I won’t mention the name of the book’s guru because it turned out that I found it hard to appreciate the vocal delivery. Thankfully there are no such problems when reading people’s books. However, the message was interesting. He explained about people having the freedom of choice to turn any experience into a good or a bad one, or anywhere in between, on a scale from -10 to +10. Sounds logical, but in fact it is an extremely valuable concept for daily practice.

And he illustrated this message with …. yes, stories, a host of them. Enough stories, in fact, to fill one CD with just this message. Still, I am going to listen to the other CDs in the package, because I am interested to discover and use more concepts and tools that work, for myself, and in helping people I meet on my path.

I chose to take yesterday off from the office to refresh myself, to sharpen the saw as Covey called it in his classic on the habits of effective people. I spent a delicious sunny morning and cloudy afternoon reflecting on life and work, and I read and wrote about it. A good choice, I realized.

Books are always a source of inspiration for me, so I keep reading and buying them. They open my door to a rich variety of messages, which seem to come to me according to my needs and my readiness to learn something new at any particular time. I rarely finish books. With the whole universe at hand to be experienced from within, I found that I can tap into useful messages as I choose. Books do the trick most of the time. Meeting inspiring people also helps.

A friend remarked recently that relationships and money seem to be central in people’s lives. The second topic is getting more headlines during this time of financial crisis, with this week’s edition of The Economist proclaiming “All you need is cash – Managing in the downturn,” and underlining that there is “No time to waste” when it comes to making choices about American fiscal policy.

I spent more time reflecting on the first topic, that of relationships, and the enduring mysteries of attraction and love between people. And I chose to open a book that I have had on my shelf for years; apparently it was the right time. In it, author Sarah Litvinoff defines four types of people: romantic, sensual, imaginative, and emotional. She explains that people are more or less hardwired with a specific outlook and way of relating with their partner, according to these types, or a combination of them.

Once we know our dominant type and that of our partner, she reasons, we can understand better about the choices we can make in daily communications to inspire the relationship. Somewhat to my surprise, I thoroughly enjoyed reading about the types, discovered my own combination, and gained more clarity how I can apply this new-found knowledge in my life.

Each time I realize the freedom of choice, it brings me forward to square one, and I feel as if I am liberated.

“Always be a beginner,” Lou Paget wrote in one of her famous books about relationships.

I agree, with a passion.


Photograph: Nice choice of views, Puncak, Indonesia.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Without chasing














"Excitement is the more practical synomym for happiness, and it is precisely what you should strive to chase." - Timothy Ferris

Another day has passed, and half the evening is what I have left of this month of September. I have set myself to write, this blog post, and then some comments on an interesting country report for my daytime job.

Yes, my daytime job… I figured out (again) that I need to reduce the hours I work for that job. Should I try the incremental approach, or a dramatic one?

Timothy Ferriss in his book The 4-Hour Workweek suggested that we escape 9-5, live anywhere, and drastically reduce the number of hours we work from 40 or much more to much less.

Income is relative, Ferris wrote, to how many hours you work for it, and he went on to explain how he loves to spend time traveling around the world and mastering new skills. He called these mini-retirements, and he claimed that he has one for every two months of work projects. A paradigm shift, for sure.

I like many elements of his approach, and reading his book is in many ways like holding up a mirror. It helps me to see my situation and options more clearly. Good books can do that for me, or more likely “the right book for the right time”. A bit of both in this case.

It’s a good start if you know what you are good at and enjoy doing, and I have made lots of discoveries in this area over the past few years, so I feel much better equipped in that way. If you can feel excited about what you do, you are much more likely to do your task well, with positive energy helping you along.

I guess that means working on outsourcing the things I am less keen on, and not very good at. Ferris is on the same wavelength, as he wrote that “it is far more lucrative and fun to leverage your strengths in stead of attempting to fix all the chinks in your armor.”


Making sure that the readers got his point, he added that “most people are good at a handful of things and utterly miserable at most.”

I still have 3 chapters to read before I get to the outsourcing part.

Last week I had the good fortune to attend the opening of Jim Paredes’ new photo exhibit called Skin. And as always when confronted with his artwork and his personal genius, I came away feeling stretched and inspired.

Seeing Jim’s work, I reflected how an artist’s struggle (in this case for nude photography) results in the loss of ego which opens up the space to convey something which needs no description.

And I remembered
Gail Sher in her One Continuous Mistake: Four Noble Truths for Writers where she quoted John Ashbery as saying that “I think that any true work of art does defuse criticism; if it left anything important to be said, it wouldn’t be doing its job.”

Jim’s art spoke to me in silence as I listened.

Having worked for seven years on the project, I felt as if the exhibit was at once a celebration of Jim’s achievement and a door to exploring new artistic challenges. Completing and moving on are key ingredients in living well, I realized, as I sat watching the exhibit from behind the white curtains drawn discretely over the gallery’s windows.

I imagined myself cocooned for an eternity moment in an inner part of life’s temple. No wonder Jim chose the aptly named Renaissance Gallery to host his exhibit.

Just a few days later, I found myself floating through the lamp-lit corridors of my daytime workplace after practicing on stage after work for the annual charity show. And I realized it was playing music that was lifting me up, as literally as I could imagine.

Another experience to feel excited about, even without chasing for happiness.


Photograph: Lifted up, but still the shorter of the two blues brothers.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Mud bath
















“A man who values individuals above his own integrity is a wretch, not a free thinker.” – Steve Pavlina


I didn’t know that George Washington was a swindler before turning into a great and altruistic leader.


For most of his life, as Chi-ning Chu wrote in her book Do Less, Achieve More, Washington struggled to gain status and wealth by any means, selfish and at times dishonorable. His many character defects left him with a low reputation among fellow generals of the wannabe republic.

Yet we see his image on dollar bills today, long after he has died. His legacy in helping to found the USA is unparalleled. He became an icon who lives on until today. How could this happen?

Chu explained that the metamorphosis came after destiny caught up with him and his situation had become “so hopeless and desperate that Washington had to consider the possibility of running out west to hide”. He wrote to his brother “I think the game is pretty near over.” At that point, he acknowledged defeat, turned inside and realized the burden of his vanity.

In his dark night of despair, he was able to relinquish all the symbols of status he had collected over the years through personal effort, and he discovered the true meaning of honor and recognition. Chu pointed out that this was the moment that he “merged with his destiny to become the Father of the Nation.”

It turned out that the great hero Washington had “as many human flaws and carried as much emotional baggage as anyone else”. Even more than some, from what I read. The remarkable lesson is that by surrendering to his fate, he discovered and learned about the true nature of his situation and defects. Through that dark night, he evolved into “a heroic man of destiny” in Chu’s words.

I was touched by Chu’s explanation that desperation is a necessary step before surrendering to “Heaven’s will”, as she put it. Despair can bring us to a point where we learn to detach, to acknowledge a state of “I don’t care so much” after all. At that point, a door opens magically to a life of thriving rather than surviving.

After turning inward and surrendering and admitting defeat, Chu said that we can embrace our true destiny. We no longer need to win on a personal basis, as Washington discovered, and this became the turning point for success to come with unexpected grace.

I remember that my history teacher in high school liked to quote the Dutch reverend Ferdinand Domela Nieuwenhuis who said in 1885 that when the churches were made of wood, christians were made of gold, and when the churches were made of gold, christianity became wooden. It was the quality and integrity of the people that mattered most.

In Eastern traditions, great teachers have long reflected that the lotus flower, that supreme symbol of human evolution, doesn’t grow in a nice pot but straight from the mud below. Deep inside that yucky mud something special happens that fertilizes growth and spouts beauty and achievement.

To become a rainmaker like the great George Washington, anyone could make a good start by realizing that he wasn’t so great to begin with―in fact he was a rather poor role model―but that he fell into the mud where the integrity was forged that inspired his leadership and legacy.

What an extraordinary story for someone with so many character defects and ill-gotten wealth to become such a great and respected leader. If that could happen to him, it seems that no one should feel excused from embracing their own grand destiny of helping themselves and those around them.


It can all start with a mud bath.


Photograph: Scaled human sculpture by Ah Xian.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Shake the tree

“If the whole world praises him, he is not elated. If the whole world condemns him, he is not beaten. In a word, praise and blame cannot change his conduct. Such a man possesses true virtue. As for myself, I am still among those who are influenced by the opinions of others, like the wind moves the waves.”
- Chuang-tzu


I regularly rediscover the need to keep some distance from my likes and dislikes. When I get too close, confusion easily arises about what is the right and wrong course of action, and with emotions mixed in I can no longer see my path clearly.

From a human point of view, stepping back from praise or condemnation is neither logical nor easy. Attaching and engaging in such emotions with like or dislike comes more naturally to me.

During the past weeks I found myself focusing on the practice of giving. I gave special attention to my kids as we spent our holiday together. And I realized the need to give up on attachments that could actually block my way forward. I made a point of surrendering to situations I found myself in, without judgment or hasty conclusions.

Just giving, to take time to pay attention to the other’s needs. My holiday was a good reminder to practice this talent. Or giving back, to those who have generously shared with me from their material treasures or valuable experience.

Giving over, handing responsibility to someone close rather than holding on regardless of what might happen. Giving away, to share treasures with our loved ones. I saw my parents, who are no longer able to go out shopping, give their grandchildren presents from their personal trove of valuables collected over decades, including heirlooms.

Giving up, on ambition but never on my dreams. This is a difficult thing to do, but it can work miracles when it comes to making space for something new that is better suited to my needs. It is a matter of believing that the road ahead can indeed lead to riches. The solution and reward often lie “just around the river bend.”

Giving in, to avoid unproductive arguments with a smile and stay the course flexibly when dealing with all kinds of people around me. On a larger scale, I pondered on surrendering the second game of my life’s match to the universe after battling hard to win the first game through personal effort.

“Correction is regeneration,” said Chuang Tzu. I may need to give up on something today for something better to come my way tomorrow. Once I have figured this out, giving will become a more natural thing to do.

As I left the compound of the D’Omah ("at home") bungalows in Ubud, Bali in the early morning to start the return journey to the Philippines, the receptionist walked over to a frangipani tree and shook it, causing a shower of freshly fragrant flowers to land on my outstretched hands. One shake was all it took when you know that the place from which you give is rich.

Photograph: Giving a silver pill box from generations ago.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Fragile moment















“We are always at the beginning of things, in the fragile moment that holds the power of life. We are always at the morning of the world.”

- Francois Cheng

Every moment, with awareness of now, brings a new beginning. There is no reason why today should be like yesterday, or the next hour like the last. It is only the mind that extrapolates from the past, because it cannot know the future. The mind is a great and helpful instrument, yet the power of creation and the choice of action lie deep in my soul, where I feel guided by an alchemy of intuition and integrity.

There are times that I feel tested, like a sword being put into a fire. It is not a pleasant feeling, for sure. The past weeks of high pressure at the work place have inflicted a toll. My attitude and response-ability under stress showed up, as if someone was holding a mirror in front of me and I could see the cracks and impurities clearly. There was no one else to blame for the situation than myself. Yet I realized that reflecting on victim-itis has always been an exercise in futility.

I took a step back and looked at the whole mirror, not just the cracks. I thought of Jim Paredes’ rules of tapping the creative universe, starting with Show Up, and Pay Attention, and then to observe the “dots” connecting in ways not seen before.


At that point, a friend sent me a link to Steve Pavlina’s post How to Be a Man. I found the piece of exceptional value and a joy to read.

Steve’s first point is about men understanding and respecting the power of choice. “He lives a life of his own creation.” And his third point also held a reminder for me: “A man grows more from failure than he does from success. Success cannot test his resolve in the way that failure can. Success has its challenges, but a man learns more about himself when he takes on challenges that involve risk.”

These points certainly applied to my pressure at work, which was of my own making by taking on a challenging project with little time to complete preparations. And I realized that this had been the right thing for me to do, and that I would not be put down if the project or a part of it would not succeed.


“When a man plays it safe, his vitality is lost, and he loses his edge,” concluded Steve.

I got a kick out of that, as I realized that courage and persistence are two of my most valuable allies, and that I could choose to apply them in any fragile moment to unleash the power of life.

PS: Steve Pavlina's sequel How to Be a Woman was written by 52 women.

Photograph: Sun in Intramuros, Manila.



Monday, June 02, 2008

Writing down

“He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know.”
-- Lao Tzu

Where does that leave a writer? Writing is a quiet business, done at my table, away from the action. Showing up for writing is different from opening my mouth.


Paying attention to writing is to translate quietly what happens in and around me in words. I work to characterize a bigger scene by focusing on a fewer pieces that make it up, using these to capture a bigger picture in words that will hopefully be spell binding in simplicity.

Like in many other things, the pursuit of perfect can be the enemy of the good in writing too. A friend reminded me last week how important it is to just keep writing. Even if one third or only one tenth turns out well, it takes writing all of one hundred percent to get there, by showing up and keeping at it. When I aim for perfect, it seems to hold me back and limit my output. There is no short-cut to perfect. It is a journey.

I found that writing is also anticipating what wants to happen, and letting myself be an instrument. I look for the bigger picture of a universe that steers things positively. The stories of human fragility and suffering in the calamities in China and Myanmar also showed what extraordinary things people can do in solidarity to relieve suffering and make things better for their fellow humans. It made me realize that for every day that I am alive, I can decide to live positively and contribute to living better now, for myself and the people around me. In every situation I can ask myself how I can make it better.

Where does this start? To help others, I need to be driven by my own program, my potential, my goals. Strangely, I found that I cannot sacrifice my own goals that I have to live by. Love your neighbor as yourself, Jesus the Christ said 2,000 years ago, implying that self-love and appreciation must take precedence as the starting point.

I need to renew this every day, even several times during the day. It is about self-awareness. Practicing Neru cultivates non ego as I realize that the universe manifests itself in me like it does in all other people. Self-love without ego can be the hardest of all to practice, yet it is an ever-present force as I become more familiar with the ties that connect me to the universe. For as long as I do not get blinded by ego, that illusion that I could live as a separate entity disconnected from the others around me.

As I feel more of the force within, I can afford to speak less, and enjoy quietness and writing more.

Photograph: A powerful flower.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Neru no ego

“Ego is something that covers your good personality”
- Shunryu Suzuki

According to Zen Master Suzuki in
Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen, what we look for in art is personality without ego. “Everyone has character, but if you don’t train yourself, your character is covered by ego.” And that prevents people from seeing the artist’s true personality in the art.

It takes accumulated practice and training to let go of ego, and the Japanese word Neru describes this process well. Suzuki explains: “Neru is how we refine silk by washing it many times so that the threads are white and soft enough to weave.” Written in another character, Neru also describes how iron is beaten to temper it while it is hot, to make it strong. And a third meaning of Neru is to bake something in a fire.

Last week, a good friend named her new art gallery Neru, and I felt privileged to contribute a reflection on its meaning. And as I wrote it, that meaning also revealed itself in my own life experience, quite like Chi follows whatever my mind focuses on in my body.

Neru means bringing out the best potential in each person. I realized that with practice, it is possible to let go of the ego that covers my own true personality. And with good character revealed, creating and enjoying art can truly become a celebration of life for me.

As I ‘showed up’ again to write this post after an intense period of travel, work and personal growth, I realized that my life has an abundance of bubbles of actions. I need some spring cleaning, and I reflected that the coming mid-year in the month of June is a good time to do this.

Yet why wait for the future? So I took half an hour yesterday while waiting in Starbucks for my car to be washed (after 3 weeks, not a pretty sight for a white car), to write what to do more of, and what to reduce or cut out altogether. I used a mix of notes and mind mapping arrows.

The power of habit is one I wish to tap into more. I already adopted several new habits over the past years that allow me to live better. I want to add some more. Writing and speaking are two habits that are just around the corner, waiting to be adopted in my mainstream living.

Another one is delegation, which for me is about taking on the role of facilitator to set up partnerships rather than allowing tasks to end up in my in-box as the final destination.

As I go about making these changes, the co-existence of leadership and Neru is becoming clear. Good things in life don’t happen without exercising leadership and working hard to see creative ideas transformed into actions and results. Yet this can be done without ego. Full commitment to the task at hand doesn’t have to take the form of attachment.

More and more, I learn to act, dedicate, and let go. I am discovering Neru on a daily basis.

Photograph: Neru on the go, in this car sticker.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

10 Past 5 AM




















Yes, to be passionate is key to better living. To give it everything I have inside me, every time, every moment. It starts with me showing up… the starting point for any artist.

In the French movie
La Vie d’Artiste on the SQ flight home from Singapore, I watched how three lives intersected: a dubbing actress who longed to be seen rather than only heard, a teacher who would rather be a writer, and a young woman who tried everything to make it as a singer. All three shared one ultimate dream: to become an artist. How hard they worked on their craft, and how little success they had in the morose scenario of the screen writer! None of the three got what they dreamed of, as fate pushed them relentlessly to find satisfaction within the boundaries of their day-to-day existence.

What an annoying outcome, I thought. Isn’t there such a thing as overcoming gravity? Think of the enormous energy spent to lift a space shuttle from its launch pad. I have yet to see a shuttle that didn’t take off with so much energy invested. Isn’t it the same with an artist’s dream? The start seems the hardest in many ways. Progress comes with struggle, by keeping movement, and by warding off complacency. With a proper investment, there is no need for negativity.

Then there are the times when success comes into my life unannounced, as a welcome surprise. When Korean acupuncturist Dr. Park poked my armpit with a needle ten days ago, I could move my arm without pain for the first time in many days. He smiled, remarking “I just relaxed your muscle a bit.” I had paid him a visit on the advice of a close colleague, after suffering a shoulder injury which suddenly took a turn for the worse. The results of the treatment were instant and very gratifying. And it didn't take more energy than to drive there and lie still as the needles entered my energy meridians. What a lift off! If only my writing would come that easily. Anyway, I shelved my plan to have an MRI scan while visiting Singapore for work.

Meanwhile, my energy investment in getting up early has paid off. I have joined Steve Pavlina’s band of early risers and victors of the daily "battle of the bed" at 5 am. Witnessing the dawn, and spending quality time with myself at the start of the day has become a treat that I no longer want to miss. It is intensely satisfying to “show up” at dawn and rediscover my passion for life every morning. All it takes me is some energy and to adopt “not thinking” for 10 minutes, and then I can lift off into daily space.

And when I heard from a friend about someone who manages to get up every day at 3 am (and sleeps at 8:30 pm). ... Nah, that’s not for me. My passion starts at 10 past 5 am.

Photograph: Dawn in Singapore (much later than 5 am).

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Not thinking
















“It is well to be up before daybreak, for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom.”
- Aristotle

Wherever you go, there you are is the title of a book I read with pleasure a decade or so ago. This morning it came to me anew that wherever I go, I meet myself. My mind is good at creating dreams, which is common for INFP types like me. But in the end, it is how I deal with each situation, how I live each moment, that counts. True value lies in me, rather than in the objects, feelings, and emotions I experience.

So how to tap more into me, and through myself, into the Universe? How do I conduct myself? This morning I felt sleepy. Perhaps I didn’t sleep enough? Or I should learn to manage myself better. After all, my trinity is spirit/soul, mind, and body. Life is good, but good life comes through management, taking charge, of being aware of the choices in each moment, and then acting accordingly. So when I feel challenged by being tired, I should "straighten my back" and tell my body to cooperate.

After some early successes, my determination to get up at 5 am has become a challenge. Allowing myself to return to slumber signalled the end of my good intentions. I simply cannot allow that to happen, but I have done it over and again. I need to get better in taking charge of my moment of waking up, to take the bull by the horns and not give in. It all comes back to awareness, in every moment. Like Eckart Tolle says, there is power in the now. Each time I read that book, I realize its truth.

Yet for a mere mortal like me, I think Steve Pavlina’s
advice might also help me be successful in the early morning. Steve cautions the millions who read his blog against thinking anything at the moment of waking up. In stead, he says we should condition ourselves to step out of bed like a robot, without any thought or feeling. Like everything else, that needs practice, which he tells people to do in the daytime when they are in full command of their senses.

I am tempted by the notion of "not thinking" at that tender moment of waking up. So I will try Steve's approach tomorrow and see if by acting like a robot, I could turn my success of waking at 5 into a habit, and thereby reap the benefits that Aristotle referred to. After all, I am there, wherever I go. It is up to me to do, with or without my mind. The latter might work better.

Photograph: Morning in Ubud.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Village life
















As I got up at 5, my inner voice told me to go walk in the park, so I donned my sports outfit, jogged down 14 floors, and walked to the park, which is only 200 m away. It was still dark when I started brisk-walking the track, which is attractively laid out. And I realized that my village wakes up early, at least some of its citizens. Several early risers were already walking, stretching, jogging, some alone, and some couples enjoying togetherness, walking hand in hand.

It seemed like a daily routine, because a few cats who were observing the proceedings from the edge of the path did not move an inch when I walked by closely. I enjoyed my morning walk, and on returning to my apartment I decided to walk up the stairs in stead of taking the lift. On Saturday mornings, the park hosts a market, which I will make sure to visit next time.

Wassenaar, the village where I grew up does not have any high-rises like Salcedo, yet is not at all rural either. As a suburban abode of the Netherlands’ seat of government, it hosts lots of diplomatic residences and up-market though small shops, and I enjoyed many walks in its parks, and bicycle rides in the dunes close to the sea.

In contrast, the village of Celab Bu’ung where I am developing my Bali home is very rural, and lacks the amenities I have taken for granted in the towns where I have lived so far. Whatever comfort is needed, I will have to create in my own compound. And yet, it has abundant charms of a natural environment and beautiful people, and I look forward to explore and enjoy living there later on.

Yesterday, I listened to the mayor of one of Metro Manila’s cities explain how she turned it from a non-descript bedroom suburb into an award-winning liveable community for its 500,000 souls, featuring a river-front jogging park, broad sidewalks without vendors, a healthy public market, affordable low-income housing, wifi-enabled schools and public buildings, and more than 50 km of bicycle tracks with 30,000 users. It took the husband-and-wife mayoral team 15 years of vision and values, legislation, social marketing, and enforcement to achieve this, and she is brimming with more ideas.

Through these musings, I am discovering that village life is about living and connecting with the people around me, about making my place of residence into a home, and about contributing to the community that hosts me. All around me, there are people who want to make the world a better place, starting with life in their "village".

Photograph: Small offerings are part of daily community life in Bali.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Morning mix

















The light plays brightly around the skyscrapers. As I look around, the roofs of Salcedo village light up as they reflect the morning rays. All around me, people live in high-rises, yet I don’t see anyone on balconies savoring the morning light with me. The fact is, most apartments don’t have balconies and I feel privileged to enjoy sitting on mine, with two small palms and the wall tiles providing a green environment.


As the village comes alive, a fresh breeze greets me lightly. When I woke up at 5, the first sound I heard was birds chirping, which surprised me in such an urban environment. I can still here them now, mixed with cars that gently use their horns, as if hesitating to disturb the morning just yet. A school bus of the Manila International School rumbles down the street, and children are singing happy birthday in a classroom somewhere way below my 14th floor vista. Meanwhile, music from a Balinese ethnic jazz group wafts through the open doors of my apartment. And I suddenly realize that the miracle of life is repeating itself yet again. I feel reborn.

Last Friday marked the start of the Balinese new year, traditionally celebrated with a day of quiet, known as Nyepi. The coincidence only dawned on me in the evening, as I realized that my move to Makati’s Salcedo Village fell on the same day. A good time to celebrate, I reflected, as I entered my new life phase. I live by myself again, for the first time after 20 years.

Today, I will select photographs of my loved ones to display in my apartment. I love my new place, and I live forward.

Photograph: Salcedo morning.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Creating my Future













“Have you found joy? Has your life brought joy to others?”

- Carter Chambers (Morgan Freeman) explaining to Edward Cole (Jack Nicholson) the questions asked of ancient Egyptians as they entered heaven, in The Bucket List

But why should I wait until the portals of an Egyptian heaven to answer these two questions? Four days ago I turned 51 and traveled to Bali to celebrate the day, like I did last year when I passed through the grand doorway of midlife. The future I am creating is now taking shape, and it is a perfect time for good questions.

Have I found joy in my life? My answer is a wholehearted yes. What comes to my mind is the movie
Bienvenido a Casa, where actress Pilar Lopez de Ayala tells her boyfriend that she loves him for five minutes, and then another five, and so on. My love affair with life is growing in that way, as I learn to celebrate each moment, every five minutes, and every day.

Over the past few years, I have invested more and more in this love affair, and I enjoy the daily sense of thrill, joy and risk it brings into my life. I feel that Richard Carlson was right when he encouraged his male readers to nurture their passion for life with the intensity of having an affair. “The idea is to reignite your passion for living, and to see the extraordinary in the ordinary,” he wrote in
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Men.

Have others found joy because of me? This question enters into my thoughts more often these days. It feels as if I am entertaining a smiling visitor with a mission, like “God” (Morgan Freeman – again!) popping repeatedly into the life of Congressman Baxter in the movie Evan Almighty, to remind him of life’s purpose. I know I am on the right track, and the results will surely follow.

My life coaching is one way to help others enrich their lives. I have been making good progress with my course in the past weeks, which encourages me. I also noticed that when I live in the moment, in “the zone”, it sends a good signal to those around me. It must be generating a field of positive energy that affects others in a good way.

Normally I like to keep the subject of my blog post to myself while I am reflecting and writing it. Yesterday, however, I decided to ask a good friend about the second question, and her response startled me.

Joy is a choice, she said, going on to illustrate this with her own experience. She explained how a lot of people she met from all walks of life, would find joy in meeting her, and were able to express it readily. However, some others would look as if they were caught up in a self-spun web, that prevented them from expressing joy, regardless of the circumstances or the people they met.

I appreciated and learned from her point of view, as I realized anew that making a difference in someone else’s life requires giving, as well as a willingness from the other side to benefit joyfully from the relationship.

Recently, I met a professional coach from Australia who told me of his first job as a parole officer, when he was still in his early twenties. The lesson he shared with me was that only a few of the delinquent boys under his care would show interest and benefit from their interaction with him, while the majority did not, or at least not yet. This pattern, he said, continued all through his career as a coach. He learned to enjoy the process of discovering the people who were ready to benefit from his service.

Here in Bali, where I am spending a week to select an architect to design my Ubud home, it seems to me that most people are innately endowed with an ability to find joy in meeting people. They show it with happy faces, warm smiles, and friendly words. I have experienced it with shop keepers, bank staff, farmers, architects, home owners, passers by, and even the manager of the laundry shop. Their smiles reflect, and amplify mine.

I feel that I can tick two boxes on my own bucket list, and will check out the Egyptian heaven some day.


Photograph: Carter and Cole discussing the Egyptian questions, in The Bucket List.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Bubbles and trinities

The best way to predict the future is to create it.”

- Peter Drucker


Although it is still early in the new year, the first month has already come and gone. In magazines and websites around the world, sharing advice on personal resolutions for 2008 has made way for encouragements on how to spend money during Valentines, which is closing in fast on those who allow themselves to be led by such advertising.


I don’t mind at all that I am running behind on this score. The question how to live my life better in 2008 still keeps me wondering, and in fact I reflect on it every morning and evening. And why not? I know that if I don’t pay attention, I might end up joining the throngs of people whose lives are decided more by others than by themselves.


Brian Tracy says that only 10% of people are proactive and “take their lives into their own hands and make things happen.” He urges people to step on the accelerator of their own personal journey of discovery.


Yesterday morning I read Steve Pavlina’s 10 Reasons You Should Never Get a Job. His enthusiasm and inquiry are infectious for me. They inspire me to keep finding ways to live life better.


Two weeks ago I threw out my old to-do list and replaced it with a new approach which is much more alive. I am blowing bubbles now, every morning. And in the evening I gaze at the results happily. I have learned to resist my habitual urge to write everything important (which adds up to an impossible number) and limit myself to jotting down, in long hand, what strikes me as most important for the day.


I have created bubbles for my current priority areas in life, all on one page. The tasks written are now part of areas of life I like to see prosper. Some are for my soul, one about music, another about writing practice, and growing money, and several for different aspects of my work.


Nothing much has come between me and my bubbles these past two weeks, especially in the early morning when I blow them. The rest of the day is for watching them grow and glow. My life has definitely become more successful and enjoyable as a result of this new practice.


Blowing bubbles also helps me to reconfirm that being positive is best. Even though my mind keeps churning out reasons for being negative and attention for what could go wrong this day, month, and year, I have decided that it is best to drop this thinking altogether. I have no wish to abuse myself or others.


Perfectionism is a form of self-abuse. As a friend pointed out, it blocks personal freedom. I was able to see it for what it was at Jim Paredes’ Tapping the Creative Universe workshop in 2003, and let it go.


As for criticism by others, I have no need to prove anything, as I am good and whole. I can clarify my track record if needed, and that's enough. I have limitless access to the resources of Dao. 2008 is a good time for upsizing, not criticizing. When criticized, I will turn that energy around and direct it to a positive purpose.


For sure, I could not manage to live my life in this way if I still followed my earlier evening pastimes of spending long hours watching TV or doing computer games (in my case flight simulation). I realized that it just consumed my time and stopped me from creating things myself.


I rarely watch TV at all nowadays, and just click on CNN’s website a few times a day to update myself on important news. I am happy for myself that I found more creative things to do than watching TV.


My life coaching study is on track again, and I got a good rating for the last assignment I sent in to my tutor. I discovered how to apply sets of 3 core messages to inspire people to change. I had to think of the holy trinity. What holy trinity? Well, any will do, as it seems that many leading spiritual traditions recognize a holy trinity at the core of their “beliefs”. Christianity, Buddhism, and Hinduism all pay respect to a trinity. I wouldn’t be surprised if there are more to be found.


Is this because people cannot remember more than 3 core messages? That is what I learned from public relations friends. Tell people more points and they are likely to forget all, they said. So distilling 3 fundamentals on which to base action is key.


On the other hand, when trying to help people answer the question of why to change, good reasons to adopt a new practice are often presented in numbers of 10, I noticed. Firing more arrows at the target seems to be the more effective strategy here, because people face different situations and hurdles for change. We simply don’t know in advance which arrow will hit the target.


After accepting a key message, and understanding the reasons to change, it is time to stimulate people to take action, and set targets for results. In this third area of focus, it seems that 5 is an effective number. Ask people more than 5 things to do, and it will likely be too much. Actually 5 is still a lot.


But 5 actions fit nicely into a bubble! It works for me...


Photograph: the pleasure of blowing sax, courtesy of my Nokia Music Xpress 5300.







Monday, January 28, 2008

Ode to a Fire Horse

Born under the sign of the fire rooster, I warmly appreciate and empathize with other fiery inhabitants of the zodiac.

Here is a sample of what a collection of wise people have written about fire horses:


"Fire Horses are dynamic creatures, with a vigor that promises youth and freshness until the very end of life.

The will and the spirit of the Fire Horse cannot be broken. This Horse goes through life with philosophical patience and the ability to bounce back from adversity no matter how dire the circumstances.

In times of solitude, Fire Horses also have an insatiable need for intellectual stimulation and they satisfy their curiosity for learning through reading, listening, conversing, and travel abroad.

Fire Horses make inspiring leaders, revered and respected. They encourage their subordinates with kindness and just the right degree of strictness and work well with people in all stations of life.

Financial rewards fall in the middle ground, not too bad, not terrific, but always comfortable.

Being in love with the Fire Horse brings pure rapture. These noble Horses are generous with their love, with hugs and kisses.

Loved ones always know where they stand because Fire Horses demonstrate every day through their actions the love they feel deep within. Each day is a soft and tender love poem."

From: www.tuvy.com

"The Fire Horse is highly strung, powerful, inconsistent, alluring and motivated by strength of will."

From: www.paranormality.com

"Fire Horses are seen as outgoing, people-loving, ambitious, rebellious, and independent. They are supposedly freedom-loving and impossible to contain."

From: www.io.com

"When they fall in love, Horses seem to lose all logic, all sense of perspective. Unpredictable at the best of times, when they lose their hearts, there is simply no telling what the Horse-born will do next."

From: www.holymtn.com

I offer this ode as a salutation to the fire horse friend who will celebrate her birthday tomorrow.


Photograph: Fire horse

Monday, January 07, 2008

Blowing Bubbles in 2008
















After deciding yesterday that upsizing will be my motto this year, I started wondering how this could help me forward in delivering results in priority areas of my life. And I realized that if there is anything I both loved and hated last year, it was my to-do list.

Like the saying goes about women, that men can neither live with them nor without them, the same applies to me and my to-do list. I love to have a place to jot down what to do, and I do so enthusiastically all through my waking hours. What happens after the jotting down is another story altogether. Once a good idea has landed on my to-do list, it seems prone to certain death. I find it so hard to transform these written exhortations back to life, to the real-time action that I needed to be reminded of in the first place!

What is in my head is chaos and I like it that way, the sheer creativity of it. I never stop to be amazed how many good ideas I can catch and cook in a day, particularly in the early morning. How to combine all that left-brain creativity and liveliness with some right-brain common sense about prioritizing and delivering? How to capture the ideas but not kill them in the process, and nurture them to live forward in a more organized space where important and feasible ideas are filtered and prioritized? A few months I wrote Work is Art on top of my to-do list, but even that didn’t bring the actions to life as I wished it would.

Then it hit me, that what I was looking for might be something like the bubbles I blew when I was a child, those temporary, fragile, living, moving, beautiful and transparent globules that I loved to see grow and rise until they popped! And some never did, they simply floated out of my sight. Could it be that some of the priority initiatives of my to-do list and life plan did not grow as I had wished because I hadn’t blown enough love and life into them? Could I revive the boy in me to blow bubbles, to see them grow, and to achieve more of my dreams that way in 2008?

I took this bull by the horns, and set to work. I decided that my written life plan for the new year would not look like the one for last year after all, and neither would my to-do list. If I couldn’t live without it, and I knew I could not, at least I could transform it into something much more alive. Et voilá, after half an hour, I had filled a blank page in MS Word with a collection of bubbles of various shapes, colors, and sizes (I quickly encountered my limits of experience in using clip art to create more forms of bubbles). The title…. Blowing Bubbles in 2008!

Another half hour passed and I had empty bubbles for my current priority areas in life, all on one page. Some were central to my life, like “my times for spirit, soul, and body”, “my times with loved ones”, “my music practice” (Paulo Coelho’s The Witch of Portobello reminded me once again how important music is to tease more life out of me) and, of course, “my money.” Other bubbles were created for important priorities in my personal life, and in my work life. This morning, I started using this new approach, and captured ideas into these bubbles, to be loved and nurtured to action there.

And I was surprised by the obvious when I found out that a positive side effect of using bubbles was that they have limits to what they can accommodate. Where to-do lists just kept expanding, the boundaries of the bubbles on the paper kept me focused on writing a few priorities into each one. Too much would weigh them down too, I reflected. And rather than having to scan up and down a to-do list, I looked at my bubbles, and realized that unless I loved them enough to blow life into each of them, the actions written there might surely wither and die. And if any bubble was found to be leaking, I would need to blow harder!

For a moment, I wondered if labeling each bubble “my this” and “my that” wasn’t being overly ego-centric. And then I realized it had to be that way. My priorities were only going to be achieved if I cared about them enough, and blew enough life and energy into them, so that, like real-life bubbles, they could bring me pleasure and dissolve in their own good time. If I wouldn’t care enough, the bubbles would have no meaning at all.


What a nice discovery, that blowing bubbles had a lot to do with making my new year resolutions and giving them life to succeed.


Photograph: Place to enjoy bubbles: a bath tub in the Maya Ubud resort hotel, Bali.

Downsize or upsize?














The new year is already in full swing, and I have been wondering what resolutions to make. Last year, I started on a life plan for 2007 and beyond. This came at the time of preparing for my rebirth at 50. I went through a process of working out my vision, mission, and values, capturing my dreams in words, determining main life goals, and mapping out results and actions for the year. I also wrote down what I should stop and avoid doing.

All in all, it was a thorough exercise involving my mind, soul, and spirit, and it helped me prioritize my life around three arenas: being true to myself, growing to my potential, and caring and sharing for others. I finished the life plan on April fool’s day, 9 months ago. And not surprisingly, what I wrote still looked fine to me when I reviewed it during the past week.

So what resolutions could I possibly make to add more value to my life? I pondered this question for many days, and today I found an answer that satisfied me. New year resolutions are, of course, about change, and about commitment to action that will achieve the desired results. That requires priority setting, and last year I learned that while I felt that I could do almost anything if I put my mind to it, most certainly I could not do everything I wished!

My list of actions for last year was already focused, yet still long, thereby reflecting my ambitious goals and big dreams. In fact, one of the questions I reflected on this past week was if I shouldn't downsize some of my life dreams and plans to fit better within my constraints, especially those of the obvious financial kind. The more I thought about it, the more sense it seemed to make. In particular, I questioned if I should really pursue large investments in a dream house project in Bali at a time when I am facing high costs in my present situation, with likely increases on the way.

In fact, I had already started writing resolutions with a view to downsizing into my PDA when, yesterday morning, I came across an inspiring video clip on You Tube that helped me see and choose the opposite direction. In the clip, John and Cynthia Hardy explained how they decided to move on with their lives after spending the last 15 years building up a successful jewelry business, starting in Bali and expanding to Bangkok, Hong Kong and New York. They said they had realized that the time had come to pass on the company to a trusted partner, and spend their time and creativity on a variety of projects for promoting sustainable development in Bali, including a nature-friendly school and other environmentally sustainable investments.

In the message, John and Cynthia said that they felt it was time to pay back for all that Bali had given them so generously over the years. What struck me was that in making their decision, they kept thinking big, which had apparently already become a habit for them. And although I could see that each of their projects would involve substantial investments, it seemed to me that they were not much concerned about constraints. Rather, they exuded a sense of abundance and excitement, and were clearly ready to take risks with some confidence that resources would be attracted to finance whatever it would take, over time.

After watching their clip, I opened my PDA and deleted downsizing from my list. I knew instinctively that I had been on the right path in dreaming to upsize my life in stead. More important than the actual resources at hand was the realization that I can live my life better for myself and others by embracing a sense of abundance and by dropping my all too human fears of scarcity and inadequate resources. In fact, my own lessons learned over the past years came back to tell me to keep expanding, to visualize living forward and realizing my life dreams for the benefit of myself and those around me. I realized that this lesson needs to be revisited every day, and that this New Year’s day and week have been a perfect time to recheck my compass and course.

Photograph: Switches to choose from in the gazebo of the newly completed Villa Agnes in Ubud, Bali.