Mud bath

“A man who values individuals above his own integrity is a wretch, not a free thinker.” – Steve Pavlina


I didn’t know that George Washington was a swindler before turning into a great and altruistic leader.

For most of his life, as Chi-ning Chu wrote in her book Do Less, Achieve More, Washington struggled to gain status and wealth by any means, selfish and at times dishonorable. His many character defects left him with a low reputation among fellow generals of the wannabe republic.

Yet we see his image on dollar bills today, long after he has died. His legacy in helping to found the USA is unparalleled. He became an icon who lives on until today. How could this happen?

Chu explained that the metamorphosis came after destiny caught up with him and his situation had become “so hopeless and desperate that Washington had to consider the possibility of running out west to hide”. He wrote to his brother “I think the game is pretty near over.” At that point, he acknowledged defeat, turned inside and realized the burden of his vanity.

In his dark night of despair, he was able to relinquish all the symbols of status he had collected over the years through personal effort, and he discovered the true meaning of honor and recognition. Chu pointed out that this was the moment that he “merged with his destiny to become the Father of the Nation.”

It turned out that the great hero Washington had “as many human flaws and carried as much emotional baggage as anyone else”. Even more than some, from what I read. The remarkable lesson is that by surrendering to his fate, he discovered and learned about the true nature of his situation and defects. Through that dark night, he evolved into “a heroic man of destiny” in Chu’s words.

I was touched by Chu’s explanation that desperation is a necessary step before surrendering to “Heaven’s will”, as she put it. Despair can bring us to a point where we learn to detach, to acknowledge a state of “I don’t care so much” after all. At that point, a door opens magically to a life of thriving rather than surviving.

After turning inward and surrendering and admitting defeat, Chu said that we can embrace our true destiny. We no longer need to win on a personal basis, as Washington discovered, and this became the turning point for success to come with unexpected grace.

I remember that my history teacher in high school liked to quote the Dutch reverend Ferdinand Domela Nieuwenhuis who said in 1885 that when the churches were made of wood, christians were made of gold, and when the churches were made of gold, christianity became wooden. It was the quality and integrity of the people that mattered most.

In Eastern traditions, great teachers have long reflected that the lotus flower, that supreme symbol of human evolution, doesn’t grow in a nice pot but straight from the mud below. Deep inside that yucky mud something special happens that fertilizes growth and spouts beauty and achievement.

To become a rainmaker like the great George Washington, anyone could make a good start by realizing that he wasn’t so great to begin with―in fact he was a rather poor role model―but that he fell into the mud where the integrity was forged that inspired his leadership and legacy.

What an extraordinary story for someone with so many character defects and ill-gotten wealth to become such a great and respected leader. If that could happen to him, it seems that no one should feel excused from embracing their own grand destiny of helping themselves and those around them.

It can all start with a mud bath.


Photograph: Scaled human sculpture by Ah Xian.

Shake the tree

“If the whole world praises him, he is not elated. If the whole world condemns him, he is not beaten. In a word, praise and blame cannot change his conduct. Such a man possesses true virtue. As for myself, I am still among those who are influenced by the opinions of others, like the wind moves the waves.”
- Chuang-tzu


I regularly rediscover the need to keep some distance from my likes and dislikes. When I get too close, confusion easily arises about what is the right and wrong course of action, and with emotions mixed in I can no longer see my path clearly.

From a human point of view, stepping back from praise or condemnation is neither logical nor easy. Attaching and engaging in such emotions with like or dislike comes more naturally to me.

During the past weeks I found myself focusing on the practice of giving. I gave special attention to my kids as we spent our holiday together. And I realized the need to give up on attachments that could actually block my way forward. I made a point of surrendering to situations I found myself in, without judgment or hasty conclusions.

Just giving, to take time to pay attention to the other’s needs. My holiday was a good reminder to practice this talent. Or giving back, to those who have generously shared with me from their material treasures or valuable experience.

Giving over, handing responsibility to someone close rather than holding on regardless of what might happen. Giving away, to share treasures with our loved ones. I saw my parents, who are no longer able to go out shopping, give their grandchildren presents from their personal trove of valuables collected over decades, including heirlooms.

Giving up, on ambition but never on my dreams. This is a difficult thing to do, but it can work miracles when it comes to making space for something new that is better suited to my needs. It is a matter of believing that the road ahead can indeed lead to riches. The solution and reward often lie “just around the river bend.”

Giving in, to avoid unproductive arguments with a smile and stay the course flexibly when dealing with all kinds of people around me. On a larger scale, I pondered on surrendering the second game of my life’s match to the universe after battling hard to win the first game through personal effort.

“Correction is regeneration,” said Chuang Tzu. I may need to give up on something today for something better to come my way tomorrow. Once I have figured this out, giving will become a more natural thing to do.

As I left the compound of the D’Omah ("at home") bungalows in Ubud, Bali in the early morning to start the return journey to the Philippines, the receptionist walked over to a frangipani tree and shook it, causing a shower of freshly fragrant flowers to land on my outstretched hands. One shake was all it took when you know that the place from which you give is rich.

Photograph: Giving a silver pill box from generations ago.