Oxygen tank

I laugh at myself, as I see me devouring so many books.

Last night and this morning, I was reading Gail Sheehy’s 498 page New Passages – Mapping Your Life Across Time. I am still reading, haven’t finished it, am not just dipping into it as I do with many American books, but really reading the parts that I can connect with.

Yesterday when I was entered a shopping mall parking garage, a sign greeted me with “30 Days to Christmas”. Today, I will put up a sign on the door of my den at home, saying “89 Days to Turning Fifty.” Actually, I am already turning fifty. I have been tuned to that frequency for quite a while now. I recognize the importance of this major milestone, and of the many things it signals. Change, for sure. Some things are no longer like they were. Mortality is knocking at the back door. Other things are getting better though. Great adventures lie ahead. I will keep writing about these.

From reading many pages of Sheehy’s book, I conclude that I am very normal. What I feel, and the way I am developing, is what many men feel at this passage of life. That’s actually reassuring. Especially since men don’t talk much with each other about the changes they go through at this stage of life.

I learned a few things. First, by living in the moment, I can loose sight of the longer transitions in my life. Good to climb in that helicopter every once in a while to get the bigger view. Second, what I didn’t realize is that the “slowdown” in men my age can result in a negative spiral. A cocktail of lower confidence, slower metabolism, slacker muscles, and less libido can lead to depression, to “losing it” altogether. Mental and physiological factors can combine to produce a nasty result.

Aerobic exercise is not a favorite pastime of mine. And I was content to find out from Peter D’Adamo’s book Eat Right 4 Your Type that people with my blood type A tend to get exhausted by aerobic exercise without gaining the benefit from it that other blood types do, especially type O. I felt vindicated about my preference for armchair explorations of the world. I naturally take more to gentle forms of exercise like golf, tai chi, swimming, and smiling.

My wake up call came from reading that I need more exercise to restore muscle mass. Of course that is exactly what my French doctor has been telling me for years. “Now that you have gained control of your body weight – I bravely lost 15 kg in six months a few years ago – make it your next victory to create an exercise habit,” he said. I know very well how physiology, mental health and general well-being are connected.
I realized this morning that I need my personal oxygen tank to traverse the passage into what Sheehy calls the Flaming Fifties. Exercise is one of the keys to unlock the door.

I restarted this morning.

Photographs: Sheehy’s book cover and my new door sign