From Low to Zero and other Lessons

These past days I learned several lessons.

What particularly touched me were the sunrays when I wrote my journal in the early morning, before going to work. Once you become aware of that, how could any morning go wrong? Even so, good and bad live side by side. This is the nature of our world. I feel so lucky when I realize the positive sides. Beautiful morning sunrays can work wonders for me.

My work and life always get cluttered. Papers, unfinished activities, unaccomplished goals, they bring pressure and stress. For me, to be creative I need a clean space. I can do great things and write them down as well, in a small but uncluttered space. My lesson is to create such space, uncluttered, undivided, clean. I started with cleaning my office, and it’s so refreshing. Energy flows much better. But, of course, paper quickly mounts, and I need better systems and habits to get through them and get rid of them.

I believe in energy. Everything in and around us is a form of energy. Some more solid than others. I always have too much to do, and Toby’s book (see earlier post on eating the frog) showed me how important it is to select the task that matters most, and then get on with doing and completing it. Toby says that “a goal or decision without deadline has no urgency in it.” And a goal without writing it down has no energy behind it. I found the truth in this from practicing it. Too many things to do weighs me down (bad energy). But doing a priority task consciously has its own energy, it’s interesting to observe. Once started with good effort, it develops an energy of its own.

Today, and since last night, I was in a low mood. My mind seemed focused on problems, on things that are not right. Normally I can get out of a low mood easily once I realize that what’s bothering me is just a low mood. Awareness is key, it allows me to take distance from it. I realize that the low mood is not me, it just affects me, and perhaps I’m creating thoughts that feed that mood so it stays with me longer. However, today I couldn’t get rid of the mood as easily as in other days. Even the sunrays on my table in the morning did not help me much. Then I realized that I could at least go from negative to zero. To drop negativity and be satisfied with no-thingness. So I did – I dropped negativity and “moved” to zero, to the absence of positivity and negativity. A good friend calls this “being flat”.

Negativity and positivity are both around me, it’s part of our natural conditions. When I tap into negativity, a low mood easily develops. Mostly I am positive, and I love tapping into that. Today it was difficult. But with awareness I could drop my attachment, my link to negativity. So I ploughed through the day in a “flat” mode, feeling “zero”, and being satisfied with that, by and large. For Zen practitioners, zero is an important place, Zero, the result of wiping our slate clean. Something we can do often and deliberately. Clear the space. Wipe the sticky residue of life of our soul. Just start again, every day, every morning, and many moments in the day, as many as I want.

Today was a day when I appreciated any help I could get to get my own dots better connected. No red wine available, until now late at night when I write this, looking back on the day. I like to be connected to others. But sometimes, I have to be satisfied just finding the connections within me. That was today for me. And I could still smile, partly because of that clown in the morning sun.